Behind The Mask
by ThriLLer89
Summary: "It isn't about what you hide behind the mask. It's about who's still there when the mask comes off... and he was. He always was.."
1. High stakes

**Hey everyone! I know it's been a few months since I've posted anything (I'm sorry!) but this little ditty is something I've been working on recently. They're college age (21 to be exact) so expect A LOT more... suggestive lingo/situations. And NO, I don't mean it earns an M rating! haha. Anywho, I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

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><p><strong>Helga's POV:<strong>

It was almost next to impossible to breathe in the thick cloud of smoke that enveloped the small enclosed space in which we were inhabiting. The smell of tobacco and day old beer were the only smells tangible, wafting heavily into my nose. I chose to ignore the irritation, too involved with the scene playing out in front of me. I glanced across the table at Gerald, a cigar being held firmly between his lips. I laughed internally, knowing he _detested_ cigars. But in _this_ world it's all '_monkey see, monkey do.' _he shifted in his chair, a thoughtful expression suddenly etched on his face. He definitely thought had something good, he was terrible at hiding it. I casually set my elbows on the table, inconspicuously craning my neck to get a better look at Arnold. His face showed little to no emotion as he tossed one of his chips into the pot, ignoring my gaze knowing full on that I was watching.

"Well Pataki... What's your call?" Gerald's voice snapped me from my stare down.

Several sets of eyes fell on me, waiting for me to either run away with my tail between my legs or massacre them. I smirked and reached for my chips which caused several of them to groan. "I see your bet, and raise you 20." I challenged.

"Oh come on Pataki! Really? _Again?_"

"Seriously?"

"No way! Not again!"

They all began their little tirades at my move, frustrated that I refuse to back down. Arnold simply leaned back in his chair and chuckled. "Are you guys really surprised?" he glanced over at Gerald "She does this at least once a month!"

"Damn it Pataki!" he hissed, tossing another chip into the pot. "There's no way in hell I'm letting you win _again!_" he took the cigar from his mouth and snuffed it in his ashtray. "You're going down."

I really did get a kick out of these shenanigans. It was like I was in a C.M. Coolidge painting. Hanging out with Arnold and Gerald, and Gerald's frat brethren came natural to me. In all my 21 years, I had never _belonged_ anywhere. But when I hung out with these guys, I felt accepted. Being 'one of the boys' didn't really bother me anymore. I always thought I wanted people to see me as feminine and delicate, but obtaining a feminine status was far too nauseating for me. I'd much rather spit when I please and punch people. The plus side to hanging around frat boys is they make _me_ look well mannered. I've been to several of their parties over the years and they never cease to amaze me at how wild and stupid they can be. Gerald isn't _as_ wild as some of them, but he's definitely embraced the frat boy lifestyle. As for Arnold… Well, Arnold still acts like the same boy I remember meeting in preschool. He's grown up, sure. But he never actually joined the frat with Gerald, most of the time he lives vicariously through him. I _know _Arnold has had some wild times on occasion, but he never shares with me. Every time I hang out with the frat boys, Arnold seems to clam up. I blame it on the fact that I don't have testicles. It makes me wonder what on earth he's done that can't be said in front of me..

"Well? Show us what you got." Gerald gestured towards me. He and I were the only ones left in our group of 6.

I set my cards down, grinning victoriously. "Full house. Read um' and weep boys!"

Gerald tossed his cards angrily across the table. "Son of a bi-"

"_Gerald!_" Arnold warned. "It's just a card game, calm down! And congrats Helga. Looks like you win again." he tipped his beer mug in my direction before taking a sip.

"Why do we even let you play?" Louis joked, gathering the cards and shuffling them. He was one of the few guys in the frat house who didn't act like a dink _all_ the time.

"Because I'm just ever so pleasant to be around!" I began piling my chips up into impressive sized stacks. I couldn't remove the evil grin from my face. I enjoyed Gerald's loss way too much to stop gloating.

"Yeah, you're a real ray of sunshine." Gerald grumbled, still pouting because I whooped him again.

"Oh get over it tall hair boy! Be a man and accept defeat." Gerald _hated_ losing, especially to me. He always had to throw a tantrum for 15 minutes while the others looked on in amusement.

"Let's play again." Arnold suggested. "It's only ten! The night is young."

"Only if Pataki doesn't up the ante like an asshole!" Gerald relit his cigar and took a long drag, turning slightly green as he exhaled. I took great pleasure in his pain.

"No bitching at the poker table! Put up, or shut up." Louis flicked a peanut in his direction. "You in or not ya big baby?"

"In." he spoke to Louis but glared directly at me.

"I'm shaking in my boots Johanssen." I grabbed my mug and took a swig, burping loudly after.

"Okay Helga, that's enough." Arnold took on his mothering voice, giving me a hard stare. He knew it worked on me pretty much every time.

"Yeah you tell um' mama Arnold." Louis snickered, earning laughs from the others. He finished shuffling the deck of cards and skillfully dealt them out again. "Okay, so get this.." he began with his trademark conversation starter. "I was at the bookstore today and I saw Jenny there. You know… _that_ Jenny." Everyone except me and Arnold did a little hoot and '_ohhhh yeah!_' Jenny was a well known 'knockout' around campus, and class A bimbo hoe bag. This story already made me want to blow chunks. "So yeah, she came up to me and asked me to reach one of the sociology books on the top shelf. And I was like '_sure thing_'." he paused a moment while he rearranged his cards. "The second I turned away, she was scoping me out! Totally checking out my ass."

"HA! Right!" Gerald snorted with laughter. "The last time chicks paid attention to your ass was when it was on FIRE." everyone burst into laughter at the memory. Louis had one too many beers during a frat house bonfire and sat too close to the flames. It was definitely a night to remember. Louis spent over 24 hours in the emergency room getting his ass examined. His fellow boneheads still have the pictures for their own enjoyment.

"She was looking! I don't care what you think." he scoffed.

"So did you actually talk to her?" Arnold came down from his laughter and wiped a stray tear from his eye.

"She said '_thank you._' and I nodded." he groaned. "I _nodded!_ I couldn't get the balls to talk to her. She's just so… _hot!_"

"Look Louis" I fanned my cards, waving the cigar smoke from my face. "To get a girl like _Jenny_, all you needed to do was compliment her ratty hair extensions. She would have been on her knees in a heartbeat." Arnold's jaw practically fell to the floor at my comment. I ignored his shock and focused back on Louis "She has no brains.." I continued. "It doesn't take much to get her libido pumping. Just talk about _her_ and you're in."

"Why can't all girls be like Jenny? Damn." Danny shook his head. "I had to kiss Liz's ass for nine months before she agreed to go out with me."

"Maybe because Liz has a _brain_." I rolled my eyes. "Calling a girl pretty doesn't mean she'll hop in the sack with you."

"I get you Danny." Gerald nodded towards him. "Girls require a lot more than we do to be satisfied."

"You shouldn't be _satisfied_, bonehead! You should be _happy!_" the one thing about boys I'll never understand is their perspective on relationships. Once they hit high school, sex becomes their number one priority. It's sickening.

"Well _I'm_ happy… when I'm getting some!" Louis and Danny high fived.

"That's seriously the only part of a relationship you like?" I kept my rage in check, not allowing myself to show my girly sensitivity to this subject.

"Who actually _likes _all that snuggling and calling each other every hour on the hour?" Danny scoffed. "Might as well put a leash on us and call us 'Fido' for craps sake!"

I slapped my forehead with my palm and sighed. "_Neanderthals_."

"_Not all of us are that way_.." Arnold muttered just loud enough for all of us to hear.

Gerald took a swig of his beer and shook his head incredulously. "Aw HELL NO! Don't go playing the good boy card Arnold. Don't try and act like you've never-"

"Okay! Enough of this. Let's move on." he sunk deep into his chair and held his cards in front of his face.

"Oh no, I gotta hear this!" I chuckled. "What did football head do Gerald?"

"We're not here to talk about me!" he chimed in suddenly, panic washed over his face. "Lets just play cards! _please!_"

"Chill out man!" Danny smirked. "Pataki would get a kick out of it!"

"Hell yeah I'd get a kick!" I cackled. "The football head is about as smooth as sandpaper when it comes to the ladies. Lindsay threw a beer bottle at him last fall when he wrapped his arm around her! She thought he was trying to attack her."

"Lindsay was extremely drunk!" he defended. "And it doesn't matter anyway. We're not delving into my past."

"Hey, if it'll make you feel better we'll _all_ share an embarrassing hook up story!" Gerald smirked. "So, during my freshman year when I was rushing for the frat. All the guys who were rushing got invited to the formal that winter. I brought Kai as my date." a few of the guys did a collective '_ohhhh', _making his smirk grow into a full on grin. "After a few hours I was _totally_ wasted. And that's when Kai decided she wanted to fool around. We went back to her dorm and started getting into the _groove_ of things, ya know. But when she went to take my pants off.." he paused, shaking his head at the memory. "I was dead as a doornail downstairs-"

"That's enough!" Arnold grimaced. "In case you guys forgot, there's a _lady_ present!" our eyes met for a brief moment before looking away.

"Where?" Danny glanced over his shoulder in search of this 'mystery lady'.

"I think that'd be me." I raised my hand.

"What? Dude, Helga Pataki is no _lady._ She spits further than I can!" Danny waved his hand at me dismissively. "Finish your story Gerald! You were getting to the good part."

Being 'one of the boys' wasn't so terrible… but being flat out denied as a member of the female species was sort of eye opening. I didn't feel _bad_ about it, but I didn't exactly feel very good either. I always assumed the boys noticed I was a girl, I just figured they didn't feel like treating me like one. I was fine with that.. But what Danny said made me see things in a whole new light. I was _literally_ one of the boys to them. I could feel myself sinking into my chair, ignoring Gerald's story completely. There were too many thoughts in my head at the moment to care about his boner troubles. From the corner of my eye, I saw Arnold looking at me with pity etched all over his face. The last thing I'd _ever_ want is pity. I glanced over at him and smiled weakly, after a few moments of eye contact Gerald was already finishing up his stupid story.

"So even after we used the whipped cream and chocolate sauce she STILL dumped me! Can you _believe_ that?"

"Oh man, that is _golden!_ Did you two ever talk again?" Danny continued to laugh uncontrollably.

"We hooked up last year!" he smirked. "She didn't even remember what happened before-"

"You know what?" I interrupted. "It's getting late and I really need to get back to my dorm. I have to read four chapters for my English class by tomorrow." I pushed myself away from the table and stood up, slightly wobbly from the several beers I had consumed.

"We haven't even finished the game yet!" Louis pointed at the pile of chips in the middle of the table.

"We'll play next week, alright?" I straightened my shirt out and grabbed my jacket from the back of the chair. "Good night _guys_.."

As I made my way out the front door, a hand halted me in the doorway. I turned around to find a pair of green eyes staring intently at me. "Let me walk you back to your dorm Helga, it's getting late.."

"No thanks football head. You don't have to… I can handle myself." I shook my arm from his grasp.

He grabbed his coat off the rack and slipped it on, following me down the cobblestone pathway. "I know I don't have to… I want to." he finally caught up to me, brushing his shoulder against mine.

"How cavalier of you." I walked a few paces faster, intentionally leaving him a few feet behind.

"Helga.." he sighed. "I'm sorry about the guys. You know how dumb they can be!"

I stopped abruptly and turned around causing Arnold to run directly into me. I pushed him away and glared at him "I don't care what they think about me." I seethed, turning back around and walking even faster back towards my dorm.

"I'm not blind!" he called out from a few feet away, his footsteps intensified until he was practically jogging next to me. He reached out and grabbed me by my shoulders until I slowed down to a normal pace. "It's obvious I'm not a girl, but.. I know what Danny said must have hurt, even if it was just a little.."

"I'm tough Arnold, I can handle a frat boys criticism. Besides…" I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. "I don't expect anyone to call me feminine or girly… because I'm not." I looked down and my worn out sneakers as we continued walking silently.

When we finally got to Brennan Hall we both stood awkwardly at the steps by the front door. Neither of us spoke for a good minute and a half. Our gazes finally met, his face still maintained its sweet smile. "Um… Thanks for walking me I guess.." I rocked back and forth on my heels, still slightly uncomfortable with being alone together.

"No problem.." he cleared his throat and looked away. "I hope you come back for poker night again Helga, we really do like having you there."

"Of course I'll be back!" I chuckled, bumping my fist into his shoulder. "Someone has to keep you animals in line."

His hand suddenly reached out and grabbed mine. "I really am sorry about the way they addressed your… femininity."

"Or lack thereof" I noted.

His hand squeezed mine briefly before he leaned in and pressed his lips against my cheek. The smell of cigar smoke wafted through my nose again as a breeze rolled by us, I never realized how _good_ it could smell until the very moment it came from his golden locks. He leaned out slowly until our eyes met. The faintest hint of a blush remained on his cheeks as he gave my hand a final squeeze then released it entirely. "Don't listen to what anyone else thinks." he took a step closer until I could feel his body heat. "You're awesome the way you are... Scowling and all." he added for good measure.

I reached out and gently touched his shoulder, leaving my hand lingering a few seconds too long. "Thank you." When he glanced at my hand I promptly removed it. "good night football head." I went up the last few steps and opened one of the double doors. Before I stepped inside I had one final thought. "Hey Arnold?"

"Yeah?" he leaned against the railing, stuffing his fists into his pockets.

I bit my lip to suppress a giggle before speaking "…. what _did_ you do with that girl Gerald was talking about?"

His eyes widened in surprise and his blush turned three shades darker. After several moments of stuttering he found his voice again "Trust me Helga.. _nobody_ needs to know about that one."

I leaned against the doorframe and studied him. "Oh, you'll tell me eventually football head." I closed the door and walked back over to him, standing only inches from his face. "Don't forget.." I leaned in a little bit more. "_I'm one of the boys.._"

He stared at me incredulously as I backed away. "Helga?" he gave me an awkward look.

"Later!" I took off like a bolt of lightning and ran. Once I was safely inside I let out a devious cackle of contentment. "_I'm one of the boys!_" I imitated myself. "Oh man, that was a classic!" I peeked out the door to find Arnold still staring blankly at nothing in particular. Crimeny! Had I _actually_ gotten to him? There was no _way_ that could ever happen… Not in a billion years!

…Could it?

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><p><strong>So... here's the deal. As of right now, this is just a oneshot. BUT, if you guys <em>honestly<em> want me to continue this into something more... I will. I have SOME ideas where this could go, but as of right now I'm a little baffled for a storyline. I like to call this "writing myself into a corner". So for right now it'll be an open ended oneshot. UNLESS you truly and honestly want me to continue. (and no, that isnt me fishing for comments) haha. But I WOULD like opinions... (no haters, please)**


	2. One of the boys

**Well, I have to admit I'm pleasantly surprised! Not one single review told me not to continue. Lol. I appreciate the feedback! I really do. My main concern was that the characters were OOC, but nobody had any complaints! So I've decided to give this story a go… I have some ideas of where it might lead, but I'm still putting the pieces together. **

**Also, to clarify yes I will be giving as much of their back stories as I possibly can. And YES YES YES, more of the Hey Arnold characters will be making an appearance!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

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><p><strong>Helga's POV:<strong>

For as long as I can remember I've been a proverbial 'black sheep', weather it was at home or school I always seemed to be the odd man out… The one that didn't fit in with the others. Being alone was sort of par for the course. Up until college I had Phoebe to keep me company in times of desperation. But in the end her brains managed to get her into a big fancy college 200 miles away from Hillwood. So when the possibility of having to share a dorm room with a random stranger came up, I _begged_ and _pleaded_ with Big Bob for _months _for him to have a little chitchat with the big cheese in the residency department of Hillwood U (who just so happens to be his best friend). As a father, Big Bob earns a D- at the most. But as a master negotiator? The big oaf gets an A+ from me. Because of him I currently live in one of the few single dorms on campus, the only time I have to deal with people on my floor is when I have to shower in that ungodly coed washroom. For the most part I welcome my newfound independence from having to share my living space with others. There have been times over the years when I kind of missed knowing there was someone around… even if they never saw _me_. But the loneliness quickly fades away when I'm surrounded by my idiotic frat boys… and Arnold.

Being welcomed into their little bubble was sort of by chance. During our freshman year at Hillwood U, I was in the library looking for a certain book for my American literature class when I overheard tall hair boy and Arnold conversing in the row across from me. They were discussing an upcoming celebration for the newest frat brothers initiation at Sigma Phi Delta. In Gerald's own words, it was "_gonna be the biggest bash EVER!_" and he was desperately trying to convince Arnold to join him in the frat boy festivities. Back then Arnold was still very much in his shell, unwilling to break out of his "good boy" mold. He kept muttering how he wanted nothing to do with the frat, I had a feeling it was most likely due to the fact they were stealing his roommate away from him and he was bitter about it. On an impulse I went over to their row and asked where the party was, _attempting_ to be friendly. Both of them gave me an awkward look before finally questioning why a person like _me_ would want to go to a party where there was going to be tons of rowdy guys around, and that maybe one of the _sorority_ parties would be more fun for me. If there was one thing I couldn't stand it was people judging me based on social standards. I told them that despite what's between my legs I could party with the best of them… and that if they didn't invite me I was going to rip their man parts off to match me. With that, Gerald gave me the address to the frat house. The night of the party I showed up in a pair of ripped jeans and a black t-shirt, refusing to dumb down and dress girly for a bunch of Neanderthals with keg hoses hanging out of their mouths. The first person to find me was Gerald who was downright wasted off his ass. He thrust a beer into my hands and welcomed me to 'paradise'. I glanced around the smoky room and wondered if he really considered hanging with drunk numbskulls bashing beer cans on their foreheads a genuine _paradise_. Either way I took the beer and shimmied through the throng of the man-party in search of the one I knew all too well. I ended up finding him sitting on a couch unwillingly conversing with an extremely drunk frat brother who was going on and on about his ex dumping him the night before. When we spotted each other from across the room and he desperately mouthed '_help me!_' and motioned to the drunk guy. I went over to them and sat on the arm of the couch next to Arnold, he pointed to the now hunched over and sobbing lush and introduced him to me as Louis.

In the midst of his sobbing and babbling I managed to sneak Arnold away and get him back to the _real_ party. Once Arnold had a few beers in him (getting him to drink at all was no easy feat, I must say) he began to loosen up a little and enjoying himself. When Gerald finally made an appearance again he was barely able to stand on two feet, stumbling into everything in his path. Him and his fellow frat brothers were looking for candidates to partake in a game of beer pong. I was one of the first people to volunteer, making everyone else leery about challenging a _girl_. I stood up on the coffee table and announced that any _bitch_ who was scared to face me shouldn't be called a man at all, and that I'd be waiting at the table for anyone with the _balls_ to challenge me. Surprisingly, one of the guys immediately took me up on my offer. Several rounds and several challengers later I was declared the champion at the Sigma Phi Delta house. It was a stupid title, but I didn't give a damn. There was _finally_ something I was good at… and people liked me for it. The very next weekend Gerald approached me and asked me if I was down for another beer pong tournament at the frat house, I was only too happy to oblige. That time I decided to dress a little more nicely, even going as far as putting some makeup on. The night went off without a hitch and everyone seemed to be enjoying my company (even Arnold). After my third win that night Louis slung his arm over my shoulders and pulled me into him before drunkenly slurring that I was '_the MAN!_' and how rad I was. Only then did it hit me… they invited me back simply because I was good at beer pong… not because I was a fun _girl_. I had two choices; get offended and never bother with them again, or embrace the attention. Needless to say I simply brushed off his comment and continued like normal. Soon after that incident the frat brothers continued inviting me to their events as an honorary guest and slowly over time I began caring less and less about them not addressing the fact that I am a female, I was just happy they wanted me around at all.

That was basically what cemented my college social life. I've spent the last three years hanging out and being 'one of the boys'. I never thought in a million years I would hang out with, yet alone _get along_ with frat boys. I think a big reason why I stuck it out for so long was because of Arnold. For the first time in my life he didn't mind me being around him and interacting in his world. I admit that after all these years I still find him…. _appealing._ But as far as pursuing any type of romantic relationship…. we've never even tried. I don't have a shrine anymore of his likeness and my poem books and Arnold locket are safely stored in my storage unit downtown. My pink bow is tied to my memory board next to a photo of me and Arnold holding up mugs of green beer last Saint Patrick's day. It was one of my favorite photos of us, he had _willingly_ wrapped an arm around me and held me close for the photo…. It was trivial but what can I say? I'm still a sap when it comes to him. Even if it meant losing all femininity I once had, I was going to milk being part of his 'inner circle' for all it was worth.

I finally had what I always dreamed of..

_His attention._

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><p>I woke up the next morning to the nauseating smell of cigar smoke that was still clinging to my hair from last night. Once I got back to my dorm I forced myself to read for my English class until I passed out around 3am at the foot my bed. I was planning on waking up at 6 and taking a shower before my 7:30 Spanish class with Arnold.. But as luck would have it I forgot to set my alarm last night. I woke up around 9 partially hung over and extremely cranky that I had missed my class. My next class wasn't until 11 but I still didn't have time for a shower. I had to find Arnold so I could get the lecture notes from him so I wouldn't fall any further behind than I already was. He had his a psychology class at 10 so it gave me enough time to change into fresh clothes and throw my hair in a messy ponytail and put a baseball cap on over it so I didn't look completely trashy.<p>

"Good morning Helga!" one of the bubbly second year girls greeted me as I rushed by her in the hallway.

"Yeah yeah.." I pushed past her and walked even faster towards the stairwell.

"Have nice day!" she called out just as I started down the stairwell.

"_I'm surrounded by Lila's_." I muttered.

When I got outside I literally sprinted across campus to get to Arnold's class which was starting in 15 minutes. I made it to the lecture hall with five minutes to spare. The room was _full_ of students in stadium style seats, most of them typing on their laptops or reading their books. It only took me a minute to find Arnold among the dozens of people, he was towards the back of the class and slouched in his seat with his head resting in his palm. As I got closer to him I noticed he was fast asleep and snoring softly. He looked so darn adorable with his face partly stretched on his hand as he weighed heavily against it. I almost felt guilty for waking him up…. _almost._

My palm collided with his forearm, causing his hand to disconnect from his head and dropping it to the small desk. With a loud thump his head shot up in panic before he glared up at me. "What the heck Helga?" he groaned. "Ouch!"

I took a seat next to him and put my feet on the chair in front of me. "Long night football head?"

He sunk back down into his chair and continued to rub the now tender spot on his forehead. "Something like that…. But at least _I _managed to wake up." he smirked. "Where were you this morning?"

"I had a steamy encounter with my pillow last night." I mock-gushed. "What do you think dummy? I forgot to set my alarm before I started studying."

"You're going to get in trouble one of these days." he sighed, grabbing his notebook from his bag and handing it to me. I could always count on Arnold to pick up my slack when I overslept. It was one of the things I lo-… _liked_ about him.

"So.." I put his notebook away in my bag. "Why were you napping in _class_ of all places? That goes against your whole 'Mr. Perfect' routine!"

He rolled his eyes at the 'Mr. Perfect' comment. "I just… didn't have a pleasant morning." his expression turned sour. "I was woken up this morning by the '_Rats_' soundtrack"

After Gerald ditched him for the frat house, Arnold was assigned a new roommate. Out of everyone in our whole school system he ended up with Eugene Horowitz. Trust me, _nobody_ laughed harder than I did when we found out who he was getting stuck with. Needless to say their dorm gets weekly visits from the fire department. I relished the fact that I was free from roommate drama, and I _loved_ teasing him about his.

"Eugene does love his musicals" I repeatedly poked his arm, attempting to get a rouse out of him. He didn't even crack a smile. "So…" I awkwardly cleared my throat "what time did you get back to your dorm last night?"

"Midnight or so.." he shrugged. "But I didn't really sleep well last night." he accentuated his statement by drawing out a yawn.

"Did Eugene bring over his…. _special friend_ again?" I held back a smirk.

"No." he gave me a harsh glare. "I just… had a lot on my mind last night…"

"Like?"

"I don't know.." he looked away suddenly. "I was just wondering something…"

I leaned closer to him and raised my eyebrows. "I'm listening."

"Last night." he finished, finally meeting my gaze. I instantly felt my heartbeat pick up a little bit. I was pretty sure I knew what he was talking about.

"What about it?" I decided to play dumb.

"Don't hurt me for asking this… but…" he prepared himself for my wrath "were you…. _flirting_ with me? Because it kinda felt like it and I-"

"Oh crimeny football head!" I snorted. "Deflate your ego a little would ya? Last night was nothing but us acting like dorks." I was praying that he wouldn't notice me furiously wiping my sweaty palms on to my jeans or the way my breath hitched when he used the word 'flirt'. The last thing I wanted was for things to start getting awkward between us… _again_. "We're just friends. Amigos. Confidants. Cohorts…. Buddies." I stared blankly at the projection screen in the front of the room. "_Friends_." I repeated.

After several moments of silence he shifted in his seat "Oh.." was his only response.

"Yeah… I gotta get going. Thanks for the notes Arnold." I grabbed my bag and left without another word. If this didn't create some sort of awkward tension I didn't know what else would. We both spent a lot of time and energy in high school trying to forget about my psychotic obsession with him. He made it very clear from the start that he wasn't interested in me _that way_, and in the end we were both able to move on from it scar free (as much as one possibly can). When college started it was sort of a new beginning for us. Thanks to the frat brothers we kind of had a buffer between us so things could never get awkward again… that was until last night.

"Stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID!" I chanted angrily to myself as I walked through campus to my class. "You just _had_ to act like a big freaking DINK last night! Way to go Pataki… Way to piss away three _years_!"

"You know Helga, when people start talking to themselves its usually a sign of psychosis." I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around to see Rhonda smirking at me.

"_Princess_" I hissed. "What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me? For cripes sake!"

"I wasn't sneaking." she examined her manicured nails. "So… three years huh?" a smirk appeared on her face. "This wouldn't happen to be about… _Arnold?_"

I felt my shoulders visibly tense under her accusatory gaze "Ya know Rhonda…" I stepped closer to her, fists clenched. "the things I do or don't say when I'm drunk are _never _to be repeated! Are we on the same wavelength here?"

Despite my threat she didn't even bat an eyelash "Hey, don't get me wrong Helga! I think it's cute you're still madly in lo-"

"SHUT UP!" I growled. "It's not like that anymore… we're just friends." She gave me a 'get real' look and scoffed. "We _are_ friends! Get it through your microscopic brain."

She circled around me and studied me for a moment, further delaying my hasty exit from her stupid assumptions. "First you team up with his little frat pack-"

"Stop." I warned

"And now?… now you're close enough to make a move after three long years of the friend zone" she put her hand on my shoulder and sighed. "You're a mad genius Pataki."

Never in my life had I regretted drinking as much as I did right then. Last new years during a big joint fraternity and sorority bash I had gotten so intoxicated that I ended up blabbing to Rhonda and her minions about how I still sorta had a thing for that stupid little football head. Ever since that night Rhonda is always giving me a hard time… yet there was nothing I could do about it. If I ripped her face off Arnold would want to know _why…_ and if I didn't play along with her she would probably tell Arnold. Either way I was freaking screwed.

"Look princess, I hang out with the '_frat pack_' because they're the only ones who don't treat me like I'm different." I shrugged her hand off my shoulder and stepped away. "Now if you'll excuse me I have class."

"You know someday you're going to forget what it's like to be a girl Helga!" she called out as I walked away, thinking her words would actually _matter_ to me.

_I forgot a long time ago._

* * *

><p>After I was finished with my afternoon classes I went downtown to Rider's, the local college hangout where people usually gathered to escape the stuffy university atmosphere. It was in a seedy part of town but that didn't stop any of us from venturing there… not to mention they offered discounts to college students in the area. I ordered my usual double cheeseburger and fries and sat in the back corner hoping nobody else would sit near me. Despite the noisy jukebox blasting and the patrons chattering, Rider's was one of my favorite places to get my studying done. The chaos kind of reminded me of being home..<p>

"Hey Pataki!"

_Oh dammit._

Louis maneuvered through the room and began waving frantically to get my attention. "Louis." I greeted him as he grabbed a chair and spun it backwards for him to straddle. "Meeting someone here?" I asked hopefully.

"Nope." he shook his head back and forth, knocking some of his jet black hair over his eyes. "I just came by to pick up some grub before I head back to the house. Speaking of which.." he reached across the table and grabbed a fry and popped it in his mouth. "Why did you wuss out on us last night?"

"I told you.. I had to study." I said through clenched teeth as he reached for more fries.

"You never study." he smirked. "You always get Arnold to save your ass when you fall behind." I intercepted his hand as he reached for my milkshake, _that's _where I drew the line. "You were acting weird last night… and Arnold started pulling the same deal when we were hanging out after you-"

"Arnold came back there last night?" my eyes widened.

"Yeah, we played video games for a few hours. Why?" he shrugged.

_That little LIAR! I'm gonna kill him._

"Nothing…" I muttered, pushing my food in his direction. I suddenly didn't feel very hungry anymore…

He picked up the cheeseburger and took a large bite. "So why did you _really_ leave?" he mumbled through the large amount of hamburger inhabiting his mouth.

"Does it matter?" I scoffed.

"Kinda."

"Well, sorry to disappoint you but I have no news to speak of. I had to _study_ last night. Arnold is a weirdo... I don't care what he told you." I grabbed my bag and stood up. "I have to go.."

"What? Why? You don't want to hang out?"

"Not this time." I reached over and playfully ruffled his hair "There's a football out there I need to punt."

Arnold would most likely be at his dorm or the library. It was nearing 5 and his last class had gotten out an hour earlier. Since his dorm was closer I decided to try there first. He lived on the fourth floor of Jordan Hall. It was notorious for housing the campus party animals. The halls were always littered with leftover plastic cups and several of the doors usually had a sock tied around the knobs. It was basically Arnold's worst nightmare. I pounded furiously on Arnold's door until I heard someone on the other side. To my disdain it _wasn't_ the person I was looking for.

"Helga? Why gosh! This is a nice surprise!" Eugene gushed. "What can I do for you?"

"Where's Arnold?" I grumbled.

"Well, he was here about fifteen minutes ago but he grabbed his shower stuff and-"

"Shower. Got it…" I walked away, leaving him standing in the doorway. When I found the floors communal washroom I peeked inside to find nobody standing around so I went inside. The room was filled by a heavy steam coming from the last shower which I assumed was Arnold. The sound of his cheery humming could be heard over the sound of the running water. If I hadn't been irritated with him I would have found it adorable that he likes to sing in the shower. I quietly set my stuff on the floor and hopped up on the counter to wait for him to finish. After a few minutes the water turned off and I could hear him messing around with his stuff behind the curtain, I silently began preparing myself for his upcoming beat down. He finally pulled the curtain back and stepped out. I had to mentally slap myself at the sight of him. He was wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, luckily he had his head down because he was toweling off his hair and he couldn't see my embarrassing hormonal reaction. I loudly cleared my throat to let my presence be known.

His head snapped up and he let out a gasp "_Helga?_ What are you doing in here?" he covered each of his pecks with his hands. "Get out!"

I stared at him for a good five seconds before responding "Are you seriously covering your man boobs right now?"

He glanced down at his hands and realized what he was doing, promptly removing them. "What are you doing here?… in our _shower_ room?"

"I wanted to see some naked guys, ya know…. The usual."

"Helga…" he sighed.

"Okay okay. I came here because…. I wanted to know why you're a no good lying asshole."

"Excuse me?" his jaw hung open slightly.

"You heard me bucko." I hopped off the counter and stood in front of him. "You lied to me…" from the look on his face I could tell he still had no clue what I was talking about. "You told me you got back to your dorm at midnight… but _Louis_ said you were with him playing video games. Explain that one to me? Why lie about it? Huh?" during my little tirade I had stepped even closer, our chests were nearly touching.

"You came all the way over here to ask me _that_? This couldn't wait until I wasn't half naked?" he gulped.

"At least I didn't get _in_ the shower to yell at you football head! Now answer the question!" I jammed my index finger into his chest. "Why did you lie to me?"

"I don't know!" he finally took a step away from me. "I was just…. Having a weird night and I needed someone to talk to. I didn't mean to lie Helga… but there's just some things we can't talk about-"

"Are you pulling the gender card on me?" I hissed, knowing full on that I was about to get hysterical if all my hard work these past three years had gotten me absolutely nowhere.

"I… I…. uh…" he stuttered.

"Do you think _these-_" I grabbed my chest "do you think these make me any different than you?"

He focused his attention on my hands for several seconds before meeting my gaze. "No… that's not what I think at all."

"_I thought we were friends_.." I whispered. In the back of my mind I knew this was well beyond the 'one of the boys' boundaries I had created for myself. I was being a…. _girl_ right now.

"We are friends Helga. I just didn't know how to talk to you I guess. What happened between us last night was-"

"We went over this already!" I huffed. "_Nothing_ happened last night!"

"I know! I know that _now_ anyway…. And I'm sorry if I wasn't more forthcoming about it. From now on I'll just say what's on my mind. Okay?" he extended his hand.

"... Deal" I grasped his hand and shook.

"So.." he studied me as I backed away. "Did you want to hang out? We can go see what Gerald's up to.."

"Nah." I bent down to pick my bag up off the floor. "I still have to copy your lecture notes. And I've got a ton of prep questions."

"Oh… well.. Next time then." he smiled.

"Sure.." I glanced downward and felt myself grinning like an idiot. "Arnold?"

"Hm?"

"…. your towel is coming open."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay you know I couldn't resist throwing in that last part! LOL. And I'm sorry if the pace of the story is sluggish right now. I'm still technically working on the storyline! But I do have plans, I promise!<strong>

**(side note Sigma Phi Delta is a real frat... somewhere... lol.. I just borrowed the name!)**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you thought! ;)**


	3. With benefits

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>**Two weeks later**<strong>_

**Helga's POV:**

"SUCK ON THAT, BITCH!" I called out victoriously as the letters 'K-O' flashed on the screen while Louis' character fell to the ground with blood spewing from his ears.

"Dammit!" he tossed his controller in Danny's lap. "How do you _do_ that?"

I stood up off the couch and did a little dance while simultaneously pointing at him and cackling. "I have _skills_ sucka!"

Gerald peeked around the corner to see what all the ruckus was over "Sit your ass down Pataki! Nobody wants to see that." he chuckled to himself and disappeared once again into his room. For the past week he had been busy working on his term paper for his English class. To say he was a big bore lately would be an understatement.

I plopped back down next to Louis and nudged him with my shoulder. "Rematch? C'mon!"

"No no! It's _my_ turn!" Danny held up a different game and fanned the air with it. "We're tired of playing that stupid boxing game!"

"Suit yourself." I leaned back into the couch and propped my feet up on the coffee table while he set up some stupid racing game.

"Hey guys!" a familiar voice echoed through the room as he came in the front door. "Hey Helga." Arnold tossed his bag on the floor and sat down next to me on the couch.

"Hey Arnold" the two greeted him without taking their eyes away from the TV.

"Hey…." he repeated, his face became dangerously close to mine "how are you?"

Damn it all to hell, things had become awkward again. At least it felt that way for me. My outburst in the shower room a few weeks ago was ridiculously stupid of me. If I could kick my own ass without awkward stares, I certainly would. Arnold had been extra kind to me lately and even _more_ cautious about what he said in my presence. I ruined _everything _I worked for because of a little white lie. Why the _hell_ did I have to go and act like a girl about it?

"I'm fine." I muttered lowly. "Why?"

"I was just asking." he stared at me a few moments longer.

"Do you want to play Arnold?" Danny finally looked away from their racing game. "Louis sucks at this. I need a challenge!"

"Hey!" Louis hissed. "I'm right here ya know!"

"No thanks.." he mimicked my actions and slouched into the couch cushions and put his feet up on the table, our shoulders touching as he reclined. "Eugene woke up screaming from a nightmare again this morning at 4am. I am _sleepy.._"

As he spoke my hands repeatedly balled up into fists in my lap, constricting each time I could feel him shift against me. His nonchalance over our close contact was irritating and thrilling at the same time. If I were a normal friend this would be no big deal. Guys practically molest each other and they never think twice about it… but I _wasn't_ a guy. Even the slightest contact with Arnold made me wonder things I never should. Did he mind touching me? Was this supposed to be a subliminal message? Am I supposed to lean into him too?

"Louis, dude! Are you even trying?" Danny threw his head back against his seat. "My gran gran could play better than this!"

"You know what dude?" his brow furrowed.

"What _dude?_"

"If you don't shut up I'm gonna kick your freakin-"

"Calm down!" Arnold sat himself up slightly to look at them. "It's a video game for Pete's sake!"

"He started it.." Louis muttered.

"Just stop." Arnold pointed at Danny who was already prepared with a comeback.

"You really are the house mother football head!" I groaned. "I like watching these two get into it! It's cheaper than Wrestlemania and ten times more entertaining."

"Shut up Pataki!" Danny glared at me.

"How about you ALL shut the fuck up? Damn! I feel like I'm in an episode of Jersey Shore!" Gerald stood in the entryway with an irritated expression.

"_Shut up!_" we all shouted at him in unison.

"What on _earth_ did I just walk into?" another voice interrupted our moment.

"Liz!" Danny shot up from his chair to meet his girlfriend at the front door. "What are you doing here so early?" his demeanor suddenly turned sugary sweet, the total opposite of how we're all used to seeing him.

"I brought you all lunch." she held up a large bag undoubtedly filled with goodies she made herself.

"Aw! Thanks baby. You're so sweet." he leaned in and kissed her cheek "Isn't she sweet you guys?" he slung his arm around her shoulders and glared at us.

"Oh yeah"

"Totally."

"Mmhmm."

"Ha!.. right." I stuck a finger in my mouth and gagged, which was met with Arnold's elbow jabbing my ribs.

"Anyway, I brought you guys some homemade cashew chicken and noodles and strawberry shortcakes for afterwards! I hope you like it." she walked over to the kitchen and began unloading her bag.

"I'm allergic to strawberries." I pointed out.

"Really? Oh man... I'm so sorry Helga!" she ran her fingers through her hair a few times. "You know what? That's not a problem! I can bake you some cookies instead! No problem at all!"

Dear GOD.. Liz was a good person, I'll give her that much. But she was the definition of everything I never wanted to be. She practically worships Danny and dotes on him and the frat boys. If anything she was much too good to be stuck with someone like _Danny_. I never _ever_ wanted to have boys view me the way they view her. She was a pretty auburn haired girl that was basically the textbook definition of the kind of girl you'd want to take home to meet your parents. She was a good cook, kind and courteous, and never had run ins with the law. I was her polar opposite. I didn't even know how to boil water, and I never went out of my way to be nice to _anyone_. As long as girls like Liz existed, boys will always look down on "girls" like me.

After we ate her stupid _delicious_ food Danny encouraged Liz to stick around for a while, adding another layer of awkward to our group dynamic. Our evenings usually consisted of videos games and snide and crude remarks about each other, but with a _lady_ present we were all forced to behave ourselves. Arnold and I sat on one end of the couch while Danny sat on the other with Liz in his lap. This time we intentionally scooted as close to each other as possible to avoid bumping into the lovebirds on the other end, who continually exchanged Eskimo kisses and giggled mindlessly every few seconds. Gerald and Louis both got off easy with spots on the floor in beanbag chairs facing away from the PDA on the couch. During a heated game of Mario Kart we began hearing wet smacking noises and to our horror we discovered them in a passionate kiss, tongues probing and all..

"God _DAMN_! Gerald turned around in his beanbag. "Go to your room and do that shit!"

Without breaking apart Danny held his hand up, displaying the middle finger. Gerald grabbed the TV remote and tossed it with force at his shin. "OUCH!" he broke away from her and picked up the remote, chucking it back at Gerald. "You asshole!"

"If I wanted to watch cheap ass porno I would be in my room surfing the net! Keep it in your pants Stockton!" Gerald turned back around, insinuating the conversation was over.

Liz glanced up at the clock before swinging her legs off the couch. "I really should get going anyway. I have homework." she reached for his arm and pulled him up with her. "Walk with me?" he nodded silently and took her hand, leading her to the front door.

"Be back later losers" he called over his shoulder.

I waited several moments after the front door closed before letting out a long gush of air. "Well _damn_.. That was awkward!"

"Eh." Louis shrugged. "That's typical Danny '_lady' _behavior for you."

"So…" I began "Are we still on for poker night next Thursday?"

"Actually.." Arnold finally spoke up after a solid twenty minutes of silence from him. "I was wondering if you all wanted to see a flick. The new Evil Twin movie is coming out this week." it wasn't until that very moment that I realized we were still sitting hip to hip on the couch, I grudgingly moved away now that the couch was free.

"I was actually going to cancel poker night for next week." Gerald paused the game and turned around again. "I _have_ to finish my paper, man. My grade can't take a bigger dive right now."

"That's fine Gerald, do what you have to. Grades are more important than a silly movie franchise anyway... What about you Louis?"

"Can't." he groaned. "My parents are coming to town this week and want to have _dinner_ together."

"What about you Helga?" Arnold's said after a moment. "What are you doing Thursday?"

_Staring into space? Watching dust bunnies float by? Alphabetizing my books?_

"Nothing as of yet..." I shrugged.

"Well… do you want to go with me?" he smiled softly when our eyes met. I tried my hardest not to visibly gulp.

"Y-you… and me? Go to the movies? Together?" we had _never_ done anything just the two of us. Usually it was always a big group of us hanging out.

"That's the general idea." he chuckled. "So what'll it be?"

_Oh mother of God! Someone pinch me!_

"…sure." From the corner of my eye I saw Gerald watching us curiously.

"Awesome!" he grinned. "We can get dinner or something after. It'll be fun." at that point Louis was looking over at us too. I was hoping and praying my face wasn't beet red.

"Yeah… Sounds _peachy_ football head... Now if you'll excuse me for a moment!" I bolted from the couch and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. "_Oh my god!_" I leaned against the door and let out a shaky breath. Arnold and I were going to be spending a whole evening together… _alone_… this was everything I had only dreamt of until now. I stood at the mirror in front of the sink and stared at my reflection. "_Calm down Helga old girl.. It doesn't mean anything…. You two are just friends. JUST friends!_"

"_Do you realize what you just did?_" a soft voice reverberated through the bathroom. I looked around until I noticed where the sound was coming from….the ventilation chap above the toilet. I closed the seat and stood on top of it, pressing my ear against the cool surface.

"_What are you talking about?_" Arnold muttered.

"_You're going to hang out with Helga __**freakin**__ Pataki…. Alone. For a WHOLE night!_" That was definitely Gerald's voice.

"_So?_" he sounded indifferent to the idea

"_Well, in the modern world Arnold some people would call that…. a DATE_" Louis supplied with a mischievous chuckle. My knees buckled suddenly and I nearly fell off the toilet.

"_You guys are ridiculous. Helga and I are just going to see a movie. Not renting a motel room for the night._"

"_If it looks like a date, sounds like a date… my man it IS a-_"

"_Stop!_" Arnold hissed. "_Look, she'll be coming back in here any second. You two obviously aren't thinking properly. We're just two friends going to see a movie together. Out of all people I never would have figured you two would call ANYTHING with Helga Pataki a date. You know I wouldn't date her… and she'd never want to date me!_"

I had to cover my mouth so I didn't audibly gasp. Even though I knew it wasn't _really_ supposed to be a date it still sort of bugged me that he would say something like that. It only accentuated the fact that I was just another one of the guys to him.. And I should be happy just to be allowed in his inner circle at all. When I jumped off the toilet I flushed it so they could know I was going to be coming back. All three of them were in the same exact positions they were in when I had left. None of them said anything or reacted when I walked back into the room… it was eerie.

"Guys, I'm going to get going.." I walked past the couch and grabbed my coat. "I still have some reading to catch up on, and I also promised Phoebe I'd call her later on."

"Oh.." Arnold stood up and walked over to me. "Did you want me to walk with you?" he stuffed his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"No." I replied flatly. "It's broad daylight.. I'll be fine. Thanks but no thanks football head."

"Okay.." he nodded slowly. "So.. Uh.. About Thursday.. How does 7 sound?"

_He still wanted to go?_

"Yeah.. That's fine." I reached for the door handle. "See you around I guess."

"Bye Helga."

I rushed out the front door and mentally cursed at myself. How on earth did I always manage to get myself into these stupid situations? When was I ever going to learn?

* * *

><p>*<em><strong>Thursday*<strong>_

"It's not a date… it's not a date… _It's NOT a date_!" I continually repeated the statement over and over as I paced the floor of my dorm room. I didn't get _any_ sleep the night before and I was pretty sure I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown. I felt like a complete moron for even contemplating my feelings behind this evening. I _knew_ Arnold's intentions were completely platonic and pure, yet my inner nine year old couldn't help but rear its ugly head and start searching for some sort of hidden agenda. We were two good friends who were going to see a movie together… the fact that we have opposite body parts played no part in it.

"Okay Helga old girl.." I continued pacing. "Just be yourself… you're one of the boys. There's _no_ problem!" I stopped in front of my memory board and traced my fingers along the photo of us. "….._Other than the fact I sorta love him-_ **NO NO NO**! Stop!" my palm collided with my temple. "I'm better than this silly childhood obsession… his friendship is worth more than a passing attraction." I plucked the picture of us off the board and tossed it in a drawer. "This has to stop."

At first we had planned to meet up at the theater before the movie started. But this morning during Spanish class Arnold passed me a note (very junior high of him) that said he would meet up with me at my dorm so we could walk together…. Which leads me to my current mini meltdown. The nicer Arnold is to me the harder it becomes for me to suppress these stupid _female_ feelings that always seem to pop up at random times. For years I've been able to control it and keep it to myself, but lately it's been next to impossible to _not_ spazz out when I'm near him. I blame him for having the nerve to place his lips on my _face_! He triggered this… _not_ me! His boyish good looks and kindness are my kryptonite. As long as I live I don't think I'll ever be able to look at him and _not_ imagine us doing ungodly things in the backseat of a car. But sadly I knew the score with us; we're just good friends. We hung out in the same social circle… and I'm okay with that… most days.

I stood in front of my closet for over 20 minutes examining all my torn and tattered clothing. I made it a point to never own anything _new_ looking. My clothing usually consisted of band t-shirts and ripped jeans. I held up the one skirt I owned and considered wearing it for our.…_outing_, but immediately dismissed the idea. Dressing nicely implied that this was something special… which it definitely _wasn't_. After a few moments of contemplation I settled for a pair of jeans with a hole in the knee and my black Ramones shirt. I kind of regretted that I couldn't put forth any effort into my appearance tonight.. He may see me as one of the boys, but it would have been a nice change of pace to get to look different for once… but that was the price I paid to stay close to him.

My cell phone vibrated from across the room and I practically broke my neck to get over to it. I collapsed on to my bed and grabbed the phone from the nightstand. The words: '_new message: __**Arnold**_' flashed on the screen. I opened the message and held my breath '_be there in 15'_ it said with a little smiley face at the end.

"Oh dear God.." I threw the phone at the foot of my bed. "I'm going to die! Plain and simple.. I… am going to _die_. Why must I do this to myself?" I got up off my bed and stood in front of the small mirror by my door. My hair was still in the same messy ponytail I had thrown it in that morning. I looked like I had literally just rolled out of bed. I found my brush and let my hair loose from the elastic. "One alteration wouldn't hurt anything… right?" I ran the brush through my hair a few times until it wasn't sticking up everywhere. It hung loosely over my shoulders and halfway down my back, the layers in front framing my face. Even I couldn't hardly recognize myself like this. The only times I wore it down is usually after a shower. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea.." I muttered, looking for a black elastic to retie my hair with.

A soft knocking on my door broke my thoughts. "_Oh my God.._" I gasped into my palm as the soft knocks continued. I took one last look at myself in the mirror and decided to keep my hair the way it was before slowly opening the door. He was leaning against the wall and absentmindedly staring down the hallway with his fist raised, prepared to tap the door again. He had yet to notice the door was open. Just as his fist started moving again I cleared my throat. "Hey.."

"Helga!" he jumped back slightly. "…_Hey_.." his eyes gave me a once over before meeting my gaze. "You ready to go?"

I continued to stand lamely in the doorway for several seconds with my mouth feeling extremely dry and my palms sweating profusely…. He was wearing a navy blue button up shirt and what looked to be a new pair of jeans. _Not that I was looking or anything…_ the point is; he was dressed nicely. I suddenly felt like a dirty bum.

"Helga?… Are you alright?" he waved his hand in my face.

I vigorously shook my head from side to side banishing all weird thoughts from my mind. "I'm fine football head… Let's blow this popsicle stand."

The silence between us as we walked to the movie theater was making us both tense. Usually when we hung out with the guys we had no problem coming up with small talk. Without them here as our buffer we had no boundaries. It was _terrifying_. Every few moments I would glance at him from the corner of my eye to find him staring back. I wanted to yell at him for looking but stopped myself when I realized he could argue I was doing the same thing… _damn awkwardness. Damn everything._

"So…" Arnold began "how was your math exam today?"

I couldn't help but given him an awkward stare. Out of all the things he could have asked me, _that's_ what he chose to talk about? "How did you know I had an exam?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"I helped you study… remember?" images of us and Gerald in the library flashed in my mind. Was I that spaced out that I didn't even remember studying?

"Oh.."

"Helga, are you sure everything is alright? You seem a little… spaced out." he subconsciously took a step closer as we walked. "What's up?"

"Nothing is wrong football head." I suppressed the urge to lean into him… just mere inches away from me. "It's been a long day is all.."

"I know how you feel." he chuckled. "Eugene got his hand stuck in the toaster this morning in the common room. He came running into our dorm screaming at the top of his lungs that his hand was being barbequed. And me being the good roommate I am, dialed 911. They knew who I was when I called…" he shook his head in a amusement, his hair flopping over with the movement. "It's a sad day when the dispatchers for 911 know you by name."

It took every ounce of strength to not burst into a fit of laughter. I loved hearing his twisted stories about Eugene's bodily harm. It made my dorm life seem like a cakewalk. "Do I even want to know how he got his hand in the toaster?"

"He was cleaning the crumbs.."

"What idiot sticks their hand into a _plugged_ toaster?" I snickered.

"My roommate." he covered his face with his hand. "Can we trade?" he said after a moment, playfully nudging my shoulder.

"The day I willingly trade my awesome room for one with _Eugene_ is the day I become Mother Teresa." I nudged him back.

When we got to the theater we headed over to the window to get our tickets, Arnold got to the window before me and asked for two tickets to the new Evil Twin flick. When I reached for my wallet he insisted that it was his treat and motioned for me to put my wallet away. _Friends do this stuff all the time, right? _The same incident happened when I tried to pay for my half of the popcorn. He insisted that he was treating because he was the one who invited me. Who was I to argue with that logic?

An hour and a half and 20 dead bodies later, the movie was over. Despite the violence and gore being played out on screen I had trouble concentrating during the movie. Several times I would reach over for some popcorn and find Arnold's hand already in the bucket. We would both mutter an apology and he would awkwardly lean the bucket in my direction. And despite the cliché, our arms never fought over the armrest. I was almost _grateful_ to be out of the darkness of the theater when we left. Too many thoughts were stewing in my mind when we sat there side by side… too many X-rated _old_ Helga thoughts that I was trying to hard to suppress.

"Are you hungry?" Arnold pressed the button at the crosswalk and turned to face me.

"Sure. I could go for some food."

"There's a really good pizza joint down the street I think you'd like. Me and Gerald always get their pizza when we study at the frat house."

_Like they ever study at the frat house…_

"Sounds great." I jokingly pat my stomach. "Let's go."

The place was called 'Papa Gino's'. I had seen some students carrying pizza boxes with their logo in my dorm before but I had never actually been here until now. Inside the restaurant people were eating peanuts and tossing the shells on the _dirt_ floor. Any guy taking a girl on a date would definitely _not_ choose a place like this for dinner. There was dust in the air and rowdy college boys everywhere. It doesn't exactly scream romantic… but luckily this _wasn't_ a date..

"Come on! I got us a table in the back." his hand suddenly grabbed my wrist and began tugging me through the crowd. "Isn't this place cool?" he sat on the opposite side of the table and grinned at me.

"Let me take a wild guess here… The frat boys introduced you to this place?" I grabbed the beer list from the holder in the middle of the table.

"Yeah." he chuckled. "But I think it's actually really interesting in here. It's an experience in itself!"

"You're easily amused." I teased. "So what kind of pizza should we get?"

He took the menu and looked it over. "You like pepperoni and olives right?"

When I didn't respond right away he gave me an odd look. "How'd you know that?" my voice showed way too much intrigue for my liking.

He peeked over the top of the menu, eyebrow quirked "I pay attention."

"To the kind of pizza I like?" I was desperately trying to hide the smile tugging at my lips.

"Helga.." he set the menu down. "We hang out all the time. We've eaten pizza together countless times… do you think I wouldn't notice you _always_ order pepperoni and olives?"

_Damn.._

"Touché." I nodded. "So mister all knowing.. What kind of beer do I want?"

"Anything but Heineken." he said without any hesitation whatsoever. "Ever since Louis barfed Heineken in your lap you haven't touched the stuff…" my jaw practically became unhinged in that moment. How on earth did he even _remember_ that incident? He finally looked up from the menu and saw my complete and utter fascination with his answer. "What?" he shifted awkwardly in his chair. "I'm observant. You see and hear a lot of things when you're on the sidelines.."

"I think it's funny." I said after a moment. "You spend so much time observing such trivial things like what kind of pizza toppings people like.. Or what kind of beer they don't like. But you _really_ don't know me."

"…I know you." he muttered so low I almost missed it.

"No you don't!" I snorted loudly. "You know bits and pieces of information.. But you don't have all the puzzle pieces bucko."

Before he could answer our waiter came to the table and took our order; a large pepperoni and olive pizza and a pitcher of some foreign beer I had never heard of. When the waiter left things fell silent between us again. I could tell he was contemplating what I had said. He was the kind of person that _had_ to understand you. It drove him nuts.

"Let's go play darts until our food is ready." I stood up and motioned to the dart board in the arcade.

Without a word he stood up and followed me into the arcade. I could _tell_ he was thinking of a way to ask me his prying 'get to know you' questions the whole time we were playing. He had a concerned look on his face and couldn't really concentrate on the game, which is why I was currently whooping his ass. As he was pulling the darts from the board he suddenly got a huge grin on his face. "How about we make this interesting?" he raised his eyebrow mischievously.

"Oh? How so?"

"Let's have a little competition." he handed me the darts. "Person who gets closest to the bulls eye gets to ask the loser any question they want."

With the way he had been playing so far, I knew I was pretty safe from his questions. "Okay.." I leaned closer to him "I hope you're ready to spill your guts football head."

"Go for it." he motioned to the board.

I made a show of taking aim before finally tossing the dart, landing a few inches away from the center. "I'll try and think of an easy question to start you off with." I hovered over him as he prepared to throw his dart. "Don't miss don't miss!"

And with perfect ease he threw the dart directly into the bulls eye. He turned to face me, a triumphant grin etched on his face. "Now about that question.."

I could tell he was taking great pleasure in my shock. "You…. You _tricked_ me?" I stared at him incredulously.

"Trick is such a mean word.." he snickered. "I'd like to call it tactful negotiating with a false front.."

"Yeah, enough with the semantics football head. You tricked me ya little sneak!"

"I didn't cheat or anything!" he held his hands up defensively. "So I technically can ask you anything I want to.. It was our deal."

"Fine… _one_ question. But if you cross a line I'll murder your ass." I held my fist close to his face.

The smile on his face slowly faded into a more serious expression. His hand reached up, removing my fist from his vision. "Why are you so intent on keeping everyone out with these walls you build?"

_Good GOD.. How long had he been thinking about this?_

"I… I uh.." I focused my gaze on anywhere but him. "I think our food is ready." I finished lamely, pointing at our table.

Just when things seemed to be somewhat normal between us, one of us always had to screw it up. At least this time it was Arnold who had created the awkwardness with his ridiculously personal question. I was thankful our dinner had arrived because it gave me an excuse to avoid the question. Because honestly I didn't have a valid answer to give him… not one that he wanted to hear anyway. If I told the truth he would probably run in the opposite direction. I can picture that conversation now: '_hey Arnold, I'm still sorta in love with you after all these years. I try and hide it with every fiber of my being… its not weird now is it?' _and then he would say: '_Not at all Helga! You're in love with me.. It's all good. Now lets go get drunk and play poker like we always do!'_

Yeah… that'll happen.

"Helga? _Helga Pataki_?" a hand cupped my shoulder. "Wow! Small world!"

Arnold looked at the person standing over my shoulder with an odd expression that basically said '_what the hell?_'. I turned around until I could see the other person "Jason?" I gasped, sputtering on whatever air was in my lungs. "_Holy smokes_.." I wheezed.

"What's going on?" he smiled down at me cheerfully. "I haven't heard from you in _forever_. I thought you fell off the face of the earth or something!"

I subconsciously glanced over at Arnold who was still thoroughly confused with this mystery person. "No.. I'm still around." I chuckled nervously. "I've been busy, that's all."

"Who's this?" Arnold set down his slice of pizza, giving me a hard stare.

"Arnold, this is Jason… my _friend._ Jason, this is Arnold." Arnold stood up and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you." Jason flashed a smile.

"Same." he sat back down and pretended to be extremely interested in his slice of pizza.

"You know Helga.." his hand cupped my shoulder again, giving it a squeeze. "You should give me a call sometime! I miss hanging out."

"We'll see…" I felt the heat rising in my face.

"I guess I'll see you around?"

"Mmhmm.." I took a long sip of my beer. "Bye Jason."

"See you Helga." he leaned down and kissed my cheek, causing Arnold to choke mid-swig.

"Breathe Arnoldo!" I reached across the table and patted his hand.

"Who was that?" he coughed a few more times.

"The dart game is over football head.. No more questions." I picked up my slice of pizza and took a large bite.

"Did you two… _date_?"

"Not even!" I cackled. "Jason isn't the dating type.."

"Wait… why did he?-"

"Look." I leaned against the table and gave him a hard stare "There are some things you just… _can't_ handle about me football head. This is one of them."

"Just tell me." he mimicked my actions, leaning on the table. "No judgments, I promise."

"Jason is just a friend." I took another bite of my pizza.

"Come on.." his eyes narrowed. "I'm not _that_ blind."

"We really _are_ friends Arnold… Just not the kind of friends you're used to having." his brow furrowed as he shrugged indifferently. "Me and Jason were… _special_ friends." I drew out the word 'special'.

"Oh…. OH!" his jaw dropped. "Oh…"

"Is that all you have to say?" I laughed.

"So you two… do… _that_?" he ducked his head down, trying to keep this conversation away from neighboring tables.

"You seem extremely surprised." I traced my finger around the outer rim of my cup.

"How did it happen exactly?" he set his chin on the fist he was making. Surprisingly he didn't look disgusted at this new development.

"Sophomore year.. We met at the coffee shop on campus. He invited me to a house party that weekend. Since he was the only person at the party I knew, I hung around him for the most part. After several glasses of liquid courage we were discussing how college is the time in your life where you're supposed to experience new things.. And that's how friends with benefits came up." Arnold was still listening to me intently, waiting for the conclusion of the story. "So anyway… I lamented that I hadn't 'done it' yet… and Jason offered to alleviate the problem for me-"

"You lost your virginity to him?" his eyes widened.

"Would you let me finish the story?" I hissed. "Yes… I lost it to him. After that we made a deal that we'd be there for each other whenever the need came up. Basically it went on like that for about 6 months… but when he got a girlfriend last semester we ended it. We haven't spoken much since then."

"Is he still with the girl?"

"Nope. They broke up after a month or so.." I shrugged.

"Wow." he leaned back in his seat and continued to watch me. "I never imagined you'd have a friend with benefits.." when my eyes narrowed he held his hand up "I'm not judging!" he corrected. "It's your life, and if you want to have those kinds of… _relations_… then it's your choice. I hang around with a bunch of sex crazed frat brothers, I have no right to judge."

"…what about you?" I looked up at him from underneath my eyelashes.

"What about me?" he laughed.

"Who was your first?"

"You don't want to hear about me." he waved his index finger back and forth.

"Is this the incident Gerald and the guys were talking about?" I perked up slightly.

"NO!" his face turned ghostly white. "I don't speak of… _that_… ever!"

"Then tell me about your first time! Throw me a bone here football head! I shared with you didn't I?"

He fiddled with a napkin for a few moments before finally looking at me. "It's not an interesting story…" he concluded.

"Spill." I commanded.

"It was Trixie.." his hand ran through his hair. "Which isn't too shocking since she was my _girlfriend_."

"And how did this _miracle_ occur?" I couldn't help but throw in an insult for old times sake.

"The same way it happens for most people." he glared at me. "It's not an interesting story like yours."

"Let me guess… was it the most magical 2 minutes of your life?"

"Funny." he deadpanned. "It was actually… not what I expected. People always say that sex is supposed to be something special…. With Trixie it wasn't what I imagined."

"It was that bad?"

"No…. not bad. It just wasn't what I was expecting. If anything it made us grow apart afterwards."

Where were the two shy and awkward people that came into this pizza place just mere hours ago? Somewhere along the course of the evening we became comfortable enough to discuss something as private as our sex lives without any inhibitions. Arnold now knew one of my biggest secrets, and he didn't seem phased by it or disgusted. It also made me realize that maybe I didn't give Arnold enough credit. He took my past and handled it like a true gentleman… maybe I could tell him things if I could only give him the chance.

After we finished dinner Arnold offered to walk me back to my dorm since it was getting pretty late. Unlike when the evening first started, we chatted the whole way back to my dorm. I still couldn't believe that this was really us.. The same people who used to get in trouble in elementary school for fighting in the middle of class. The same people who used to be sworn enemies.

"Well.. This is me." we stopped at the bottom of the stairs in front of Brennan Hall.

"Thanks for coming tonight Helga. I had a nice time."

"Anytime football head."

Before I could leave he grabbed my arm "There's something I forgot.."

"Yes?" I felt my eyes widen.

"… you never answered my question after I beat you at darts." his smug grin returned.

"Oh.." I instantly felt ridiculous for thinking he meant something else.

"Why do you put walls up?" he asked once again.

I could either give an indirect answer, or completely ignore it. This was one thing I didn't feel comfortable discussing with him. "Sometimes we need walls, Arnold. Sometimes it's safer that way.."

"You don't have to hide all the time Helga." he reached out and squeezed my shoulder. "Remember that.."

"I'll try." my eyes rolled.

"So did you want me to walk you up to your room? The freaks come out at night you know." he chuckled.

"Whatever floats your boat." I shrugged.

When we got to my floor we stood awkwardly at my door, realizing we had finally run out of things to say. Were we supposed to shake hands and part ways? Fist bump? High five?

"It's bee a real slice football head." I decided to break the ice with my usual attitude. "The guys really missed out."

"They did!" his gaze traveled downward. "They were even making _jokes_ about this.." he fidgeted with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Jokes?" I decided to play dumb.

"Yeah.." he cringed "they were calling this a… a…. _date_" he said the last part quietly.

"A DATE?" I let out an obnoxious howl. "You and me? On a _date?"_

"That's exactly what I told them!" his infectious smile returned.

"I'll always be your personal bully.." I took a step towards him and playfully poked the muscle in his chest. "No matter how old we get… we'll never change."

"Yeah.." his eyes met mine "things will always be the same."

I flexed my fingers over his right peck and laughed softly. "_Yep_.." I knew I should take my hand off him, but at that moment my hand had a mind of its own... And it _did not_ want to move.

"_Helga?_" he said just above a whisper.

"_Yes_?" I said just as softly before leaning in a little further until our noses were almost touching.

His eyes opened suddenly and he quickly leaned back out. "I should… go." he removed my hand from his chest.

"Wha?-" I wobbled slightly from the loss of contact. "What happened?"

"Nothing!" he looked completely panicked "Nothing at all!"

"Huh?" I cupped the side of my head.

"Good night Helga.. Thanks again." he grabbed my hand and patted it before taking off down the hall like a bat out of hell.

I leaned against my door and let out a frustrated groan. What the HELL just happened between us? Did the thought of kissing me creep him out that much?… or maybe it was the thought of kissing 'one of the boys'?

"Way to go Pataki…. way… to… go."

* * *

><p><strong>Aaaaaaaaaaaand end scene! Lol. I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter (despite Arnold running away like a pansy) <strong>

**as for errors and such... its 4:20 in the morning. Gimme a break xD I'll fix things after I sleep! lol**

**Fun fact: Danny Stockton is my ACTUAL boyfriend in real life (and my name is Liz)... we're not really like our characters. lol. But I AM a badass cook. Other than that we're not really similar. And yes, I got permission from Danny before I used his name to portray him like a meathead xD he thinks it's funny!**


	4. Hang you up

**Hey guys! First of all I am SOOOO sorry about the long wait between chapters. I won't waste any of our time with an explanation, but know that I truly am sorry! I know how much it sucks waiting for updates! **

_**Side note- I want everyone to know that I debated long and hard about the POV's in this story. Some people WANTED Arnold's POV, and some thought it'd be best without it. As of right now it's going to remain in Helga's POV, mainly because the first three chapters are all her. It'll leave a little mystery on Arnold's end! Haha..**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>*Flashback*<strong>_

**Helga's POV:**

"Hey, _barista_ boy!" I slapped my hand against the marbled counter several times. "Get the tranquilizer darts out of your ass and _chop chop_! I have a class in 20 minutes!" I glanced down at my watch "make that 19! UGH!"

"You know…" he took his eyes off the espresso machine to glare at me. "Yelling like a loon isn't going to make it brew any faster. And for the _last_ time, I'd appreciate it if you'd call me SID. We did sort of _grow up_ together! Boy howdy.."

"Well, _I'd _appreciate it if you'd stop moving like a slug and get your ass in gear!" I spat.

"Helga.. Do me a favor? _Shut. The. Hell. Up._" he poured my espresso into an insulated coffee cup and slid it angrily across the countertop. "Your attitude for the past 19 years is obviously getting you nowhere. It's no wonder your _only_ friends have testicles. No girl would put up with you-"

My hand darted across the counter and grabbed him by his apron "Listen here bucko!" I pulled him closer "I suggest you shut up before I rip that stupid penis-shaped nose off your smug face."

"_I'd like to see you try._" his eyes narrowed. Seconds later my free hand reached up and tugged roughly on his elongated nose before shoving him back across the counter. He cupped his nose in his hand and let out a groan of pain and irritation. "You are such a bit-"

"Save the potty mouth for someone who gives a damn _barista boy_." I tossed my money on the counter and made my way to the door. Just as I reached for the front door someone opened it from the other side, hitting me with it as it swung open. My first instinct was to yell at the clod who opened the door in the first place, but I found myself distracted by a searing pain in my forearms and midsection. My espresso that I waited so impatiently for was currently running down my arms and stomach, leaving a steaming path in it's wake. All eyes fell on me as I let out a loud howl, dropping all my stuff on the floor.

"Oh my _God!_" The person who opened the door came up to me in a panic "I'm _so_ sorry! I didn't see you. Oh my GOD! Are you alright! I'm so sorry! I'm so so so-"

"_Shut. Up._" I hissed between clenched teeth. "Just leave me alone."

"Please, let me help you out! I feel terrible. Can I at least walk to you the campus clinic?" When I felt a hand land on my shoulder we finally made eye contact. The idiot at large just so happened to be a very attractive blue eyed brunette guy that looked like something out of a magazine. I felt my mouth instantly go dry.

"I'll be fine." I managed to choke out.

"No, I insist! I feel like such a jerk. Please?" he knelt down and picked up my book bag. "…. Please?"

"Fine.." I sighed in defeat.

So there I was walking with a handsome stranger who had no idea who I was, and vice versa. Since I had started college I hadn't really met anyone but the frat brothers. I found myself at a loss for words. I was never really a social butterfly and my lack of skills was finally catching up with me.

"I'm really, REALLY sorry about all this." he awkwardly rubbed his arm, staring down at his feet as he walked next to me. "I feel terrible."

"I'm sure I'll be fine." I glanced at him from the corner of my eye "I can make it to the clinic from here if you have class or-"

"No, this was _my_ fault! What kind of gentleman would I be if I left?"

"Dude… there is _no_ such thing as a gentleman… not in college anyway." I chuckled reaching out and grabbing his arm, halting him. "I appreciate your concern. But I'll be fine.."

"What's your name?"

"Helga." I tried my hardest not to blush "What about you?"

"Jason" he grabbed my hand and shook it softly, remembering my partially burned forearms. "I would say 'pleasure to meet you', but I doubt my sentiment would be returned."

"Well Jason… I wouldn't go _that _far.." I batted my eyelashes and kicked a pebble sitting at my feet. It suddenly dawned on me…. I was _flirting _with him…. ME? Flirting? That was unheard of!

"Is there any way I can make up for my stupidity? I _did_ sorta indirectly scorch you with hot liquid."

"I…. I don't know-"

"A buddy of mine from my political science class is having a party at his house this weekend. If you're feeling up to it-" he motioned to my burned arms "maybe you could come?"

"_Me? _You… want to go with _me_?" I stuttered, uncomprehending. In all technicality I had never been 'asked out' before. I was so used to being treated like a boy that I had forgotten what it was like to be looked at as a girl.

"If you don't want to it's fine-"

"No!" I held my hands up, quickly lowering them before I came off as desperate. "I…. I'd love to go."

"Here.." he reached inside his bag and pulled out a pen. "You can call me… let me know where I can pick you up." he cupped my hand in his and began writing down his number.

I glanced at the number on my palm and couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Cool."

"I'll see you around Helga." he waved softly as he walked by.

This whole encounter was so surreal. Boy's never spoke to me the way Jason did… _ever_. It felt almost too good to be real. "_Bye.._" I whispered much too late to his fleeting figure.

* * *

><p>I had never felt more nervous in my life walking into that party with Jason. My college experience thus far had included frat party after frat party. The same group of dunderheads with the same stupid drinking games. I never had to present myself as anything and there were no presumptions. But tonight everyone didn't know me, it was my one chance to kick back and not hide behind my façade. I didn't know Jason… but I knew I didn't want to be written off and put into his 'just friends' category. Arnold was happily dating Trixie, so there was no reason why I couldn't venture out into the dating world too.<p>

"Do you want something to drink?" Jason shouted over the loud bass of the music. The only thing I could do was nod dumbly in response. My synapses were currently on overload. I didn't know what to say or do, or how to act. It was the first time in nearly two years I wasn't expected to act like I had a penis. I didn't know if Jason was expecting me to act like some innocent daffodil…. or if he had any expectations at all.

_I should have stayed home.._

A random drunk boy suddenly came up to me and slung his arm around my shoulders. "Heyyy there pretty lady!" he slurred.

"What gives bucko?" I shook him off of me. "Keep your mitts off!"

"Feisty I see? Daddy likes.." he wiggled his eyebrows. "Wanna dance?"

"You're barking up the wrong tree ya nimrod!" I shoved him further away from me. "Besides, you're about as graceful as an elephant."

Another hand grabbed my shoulder causing me to spin around with my fists raised. "I come in peace!" Jason chuckled and jumped back slightly. "I see you've met Vincent."

"Vincent needs to keep his hands to himself." I shuddered, grabbing one of the cups from him. "What is this?" I looked suspiciously inside of the red plastic cup.

"Beer!" he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze. The fact that he wanted to touch me at all was still mesmerizing to me. "Anyway, it was either that or body shots."

"HA! Sorry to say, but I'm not drunk enough for body shots!" I finally took a swig from the cup. "You know Jason.." I glanced suspiciously inside the cup again "if I start getting dizzy after one drink I'll know who to murder." I stepped away from his touch and gave him a coy smile.

"Well… luckily for _you_ I'm not like that." he grabbed my drink and took a sip of it for emphasis. "See? Roofie free!"

"Okay okay.. I'll buy it." we stood there awkwardly for several moments. "So what now?" I ran my fingers through my hair, silently wondering if he liked my hair down.

_Stupid girly thoughts…_

"I think they're playing beer pong in the next room…" my face instantly lit up at the mention of my favorite party game, which he seemed to picked up on "we could go watch if you want?"

"_Watch_?" I scoffed "Dude, I play beer pong… and I _win_."

"Oh really?" his eyebrow raised slightly. "Show me."

I don't know how long we were playing, let alone how many beers we had ended up consuming. But I knew I was borderline wasted. Things were becoming slightly blurred and everyone started having a twin. "You are so freaking good at this Helga!" Jason came up behind me as I scored again, wrapping his arm around me.

Memories from my first frat party flashed in my mind. Was beer pong something only boys were supposed to be good at? Crimeny "Yeah… I guess I'm alright." I subtly leaned into his embrace, wondering what I could do to keep him interested. "Hey Jason?" I turned my head towards his ear "It's getting kinda loud out here. Do you wanna maybe go somewhere a little more…um… _private?_"

For the first time since we met Jason looked genuinely shy. "Uh… sure Helga."

My heart was pounding the whole time we were walking upstairs. I didn't know what the hell we were going to do when we got there… but I had to think of it fast because the next thing I knew we were inside the spare bedroom. I plopped down on the queen size bed and ran my hand over it. "Nice bedspread. Um…High thread count…"

_Stupid stupid stupid…_

"We don't have to be up here if it makes you uncomfortable Helga." he joined me on the bed. "I figured this room would be the quietest place if you wanted to talk."

A small sigh of relief escaped my mouth before I could stop myself. "Is it weird that I'm kind of relieved you weren't intending on jumping me at the first chance?"

"Hey, some girls are into that 'take me against the wall' thing. It's college!" he chuckled.

"Oh really?" I leaned back on my elbows in a vain attempt to keep the world from spinning so much. "how many offers do youuuu usually get?" my voice slurred slightly.

"Well.." he held up his hand, counting under his breath "ahh.. None?"

"Really?" I bit my tongue to contain my laughter. "A looker like you shouldn't have trouble with girls."

My choice of words seemed to intrigue him "A _looker_, huh?"

_Damn alcohol.._

"Yeah…. You're kind of a looker." I rolled over on my side as he laid down next to me, mimicking my position "Listen Jason, in case you haven't noticed I'm _really_ terrible with boys I find attractive. I usually amp up my masculinity until they're comfortable around me. But by then I end up putting myself in 'just friends' territory… a-and…." I stopped myself before I could say anything else. I was so tired of always using head games when they clearly didn't work. I didn't want to talk myself into a nunnery, so I did the one and only thing I knew would get my point across… I leaned in and kissed him.

He pulled away after a few seconds "Helga.."

"Ugh.. I'm sorry!" I sat up. "I shouldn't have done that. I knew it was a bad idea."

"Hold on!" he grabbed my arm before I could stand up. "You didn't let me finish." When he was sure I wasn't going to run he let go of my arm. "College is a crazy time in our lives… it's when we start discovering ourselves."

"Will you be arriving at a point anytime soon?" I huffed, feeling much too rejected for my liking.

"Honestly Helga… a relationship right now wouldn't be good for either of us." he reached out for my hand "I think you're a really cool girl… one I could have a fun time hanging out with. I just don't want to end up hurting you if there's strings attached. Things can get so messy so fast.."

"So you want to be around me… but you just don't…. _want_ me?" I fell back angrily against the mattress and covered my eyes "It's official… I'm going to die a virgin. I'm going to end up finding a drunk grimy guy appropriately named _Big Tommy_ on the corner of fourth and Vine street and seduce him into sleeping with me in a night that will inevitably end with awkward fumbling and a MAJOR headache, and in the morning he wont remember anything but an able bodied tomboy giving him a piece of ass that he can brag about to his fellow dick-brained douche bag friends! It's a win-win, right?" I groaned dramatically.

_Once again, damn you alcohol._

After my tirade Jason simply stared at me in amusement mixed with shock. "You have quite the imagination, don't you?" he placed a hand over mine. "Look, think of it this way…. Do you _really_ want to be tied down to me? Spending all our free time together and all that jazz? Wouldn't you miss your friends?"

I removed my hands from my eyes "My…_ friends?._.." my so-called 'friends' were a bunch of frat boys who wouldn't give me a second look even if they were paid… and my other 'friend' was my childhood crush that never really went away, and it was one that I couldn't give up yet, not to mention having a boyfriend of my own would definitely eat away at my extra time. "I see your point…. So where does that leave us?"

"We're…. friends." he concluded.

"…Sounds good."

He leaned over me slightly and nodded "Good." I'm not really sure what happened in those few seconds we were looking at each other, but the next moment Jason's mouth was connected to mine in a passionate frenzy.

"What happened to just friends?" I panted in between kisses.

He pulled away slightly and hovered above me "All good friends could use some benefits, right?"

"Friends with benefits." I repeated to make sure I heard him correctly.

"Yeah… I mean, I know it's kind of unorthodox. And let me make it clear that I _don't_ typically do this type of thing. Logically I think we'd be better friends with benefits than just friends... Or even lovers. We both have something the other wants…" his hand trailed down my stomach and stopped at the top of my jeans. "If we both agree to do this… I want to know that we'll still be friends in the morning."

Out of all the possibilities for the evening, I never imagined I would be upstairs with a boy let alone 'in the moment'. He had left the ball in my court now… was this the kind of friendship I wanted to have with someone? After two years of the 'friend zone', it looked like Arnold was never going to come around and fall madly in love with me. What else did I have in my life? This would be the perfect distraction… without the commitment of an actual relationship to keep me from seeing Arnold.

"Jason…" I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the enormity of the events that would follow. "Friends with benefits is _fine_ with me."

The next morning I woke up before Jason, leaving me time to dwell on the previous nights events. It was the most odd feeling in the world waking up next to someone I had just spent the night with. He looked so amazingly peaceful in his sleep. A part of me wished we didn't have to be friends with benefits because in some twisted sort of way… I kinda liked him... but the other part understood where he was coming from and why we'd never work out. We didn't want to hurt each other… and I didn't want to give up on Arnold even though I'd never _ever_ **EVER **admit it out loud.

I felt around blindly for my pants in hopes of finding my cell phone. I had two missed calls and three texts. Two texts and a call from Phoebe, a text from my lab partner… and a missed call from Arnold.

'_Hey Helga.. Sorry to be leaving a message so late. I stopped by your place tonight but you weren't home. UGH! I feel like a total mess right now…. Trixie and I broke up. Things just weren't working out. I was going to invite you over to the frat house for a little post-dumpage moping, but I guess you're off… doing whatever you do. Again, sorry for calling so late, Goodnight Helga..'_

I tossed my phone back on the ground and stared blankly at the condom wrapper on the floor.

"… SON OF A BITCH!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>*Present Day*<strong>_

23 days. It's been 23 days since the 'non-date' with Arnold. 23 days since the incident in the hall of my dorm… 23 days since we've spoken more than a few words to each other in passing or at the frat house's weekly poker game. Our avoidance shouldn't really come as a shock to me anymore… it's what we always do when things go awry. It's been the same formula since we were kids. When things get even slightly screwy with us it's always 'avoid and evade'. The very next day after the 'incident' we saw each other in our Spanish class. The moment we made eye contact with one another we averted gazes immediately. It was like we were both in the fourth grade all over again. Frankly I was getting tired of this stupid game, even though I practically _invented_ it.

I had attempted waiting for Arnold that morning outside of our Spanish class, after twenty minutes I was starting to wonder if he was even going to show. Punctuality was usually another one of Arnold's nerdy qualities. I finally gave up and went inside, and to my surprise he was sitting in his usual chair with his laptop open. Odds were he saw me waiting for him and he used the other door.

_That little ass.._

Instead of acting hurt or irritated I decided to ignore him entirely and headed to my seat a few rows above his. Arnold was usually _always_ the first one to approach me after one of our… _awkward encounters_. The fact that he was avoiding me so heavily was starting to worry me. What on _earth_ did we do that was so terrible? Nothing even happened that night! Enough was enough. I was going to get the proverbial stick out of his ass once and for all. I grabbed a sheet of paper from my binder and scribbled down '_Lunch today?_' and folded it into the shape of a football (_I'm ironic, so what?_) and flicked it at him. With perfect precision it hit him in his temple.

"Ouch!" he muttered, glaring over his shoulder at me.

_Ladies and gentlemen we've made contact._

He opened the note and studied it a moment before getting a pen and scribbling down his response. With another quick glance over his shoulder he tossed the note directly on my desk, a ritual we had perfected over the past 4 months. I made sure nobody was paying attention before opening it. '_Alone?'_ was all it said.

"_You little… puke!_" I muttered under my breath, I'd give anything to be able to throw a sharp object at him in that moment. '_Well football head I was thinking about inviting the marching band for shits and giggles. YES alone, doi!' _this time I flicked the note extra hard so it would _really_ hurt. It whacked him directly in the neck, eliciting an embarrassing yelp out of him in the otherwise silent classroom. A few moments later the note came flying back on to my desk '_Meet me at the hotdog cart by the fountain at 12:45'_

At exactly 12:45 I was sitting at the rim of the fountain, forced to smell the hotdogs just a few feet away. As my watch clicked to 12:46 I sighed in irritation "He better show up."

"I'm here! I'm here…" the football head in question came sprinting down the path carrying and ungodly amount of books in his arms. He plopped down next to me and let out a long and drawn out exhale "Hey Helga."

"What's good football head?" I casually glanced at all the books now resting at his side "Did you rob the book store or what?"

"Semester finals are coming up. I'm planning on studying for the weekend."

"You really _are_ a nerd." I playfully ruffled his hair before pulling on his arm "C'mon! That hotdog cart has been calling my name!"

After we bought our lunch we took residence under one of the several big oak trees in the quad and silently ate. I finally had him here.. But I didn't know what exactly I was supposed to say. '_Hey, that non-date didn't really mean anything. So stop avoiding me!'_ or '_Sorry about fondling your chest that night…. I'm just a closeted pervert._'

"So…" Arnold crumpled up his hotdog wrapper and skillfully tossed it into the trashcan a few feet away. "Can we talk about… you know?"

"You mean that night." I took a long slurp of my soda.

"Mainly the way it ended." he clarified. "Something is different between us all of the sudden and I can't wrap my head around it. I've honestly been losing sleep over it!"

"Different?" I scoffed. "Were we ever really _normal_?

"Helga.."

"Okay… alright. I get it Arnold. We've developed some sort of freakish tension lately."

"Why is that? We've never had it before." He pulled his knee up to rest his head on it.

_Maybe YOU never noticed it before…_

"Dare I say it… but I think we're growing up football head." I patted his forearm "Things are bound to evolve eventually."

"What do you mean?" he scrunched his forehead into this adorable disbelieving 'V' shape.

For someone so smart, Arnold was about as perceptive as an ant. Was the concept of sexual tension that hard to grasp? "I don't know.." I muttered.

After a few moments of silence he cleared his throat "We _are_ friends… right?"

"As much as it pains me to admit… yes." I smirked.

"I feel like we both worked hard to get to where we are… and I don't want to lose whatever friendship we've managed to create over the years. You drive me absolutely _nuts_… And for some reason I don't mind."

"Apparently I haven't annoyed you _enough._" I chuckled."But seriously… You're looking _way_ too far into this Arnoldo. We've always had a weird way of expressing ourselves, haven't we? This time we both took it the wrong way and it got weird for a bit. We cleared it up, right?" I looked at him for confirmation to which he nodded "So what's the problem? Life goes on like usual."

"Like usual.." he repeated it slowly. "Yeah.. You're right Helga." he extended his hand "Friends?"

"Yeah yeah.." I shook his hand before releasing it roughly. "Now get your paws off me! I have class in fifteen." we both got up off the grass and stretched our legs before grabbing our stuff.

"Helga?" Arnold caught up to me a few feet down the path and began walking next to me, matching my stride.

"Yeah?"

"If you were still struggling in math I was wondering if you'd want some extra help before the final? Maybe a study session?"

"Like at the library or what?" I pulled the strap of my bag a little tighter on my shoulder, one of my many nervous habits.

"The library is going to be packed the weekend before finals. I was there yesterday and there was a line of people waiting to get in at 8 in the morning. I was thinking more along the lines of the frat house."

"You actually think we'd get any studying done with those chimpanzees around?" I scoffed. "We'd be better off studying at a monster truck rally."

"Well we could always study in your dorm?"

"What?" I stumbled on my own two feet, knocking my shoulder into Arnold's.

He steadied me until I was safely upright before letting go of my arm. "Since you don't have a roommate it'll be really quiet. I would suggest _my_ dorm but there's always a party going on… not to mention Eugene's bihourly shenanigans."

_Me_? And _Arnold?_… alone in my DORM? The last boy I ever had in my dorm was Jason.. And we did anything but study. I wasn't exactly a hostess, my room was a mess and there wasn't a proper study space. Oh _screw it_.

"Sure Arnold…"

"How about tomorrow evening? Around 7-ish? And since I'm interrupting your solitude for the evening I'll compensate with a pizza. Sound cool?"

_Sounds like the beginning of every one of my sex dreams._

"Yeah! Just don't be late football head." I hung my head down slightly so he couldn't see the blush forming on my cheeks.

"Great! See you tomorrow!" his arm wrapped around my shoulders for a quick side-hug before he took off to his next class.

I hadn't noticed I had stopped walking after he hugged me. I knew I most likely had a lovesick grin plastered on my face and the slightest hint of a blush creeping back up on my face.

Tomorrow was either going to be very interesting… or a living nightmare.

* * *

><p>My dorm room was a disaster zone. All the math paperwork I needed mysteriously disappeared the exact moment I needed it. Arnold was supposed to be showing up any moment and I was ankle deep in clothes and old energy drink cans and I was psychotically digging around in search of those damn notes.<p>

I tossed a handful of clothes on my bed in frustration and groaned. "Okay!" I gazed upward. "If there's anyone up there listening to me…. _please_ help me find my stupid notes! UGH!" a soft knocking sound suddenly echoed through the room. "_Why am I not surprised?_" I muttered. "One second!" my room was completely trashed and I was beyond embarrassed that Arnold of all people was going to see it in this state. I cracked the door open slightly and poked my head through "Heyyy…."

As promised, Arnold showed up with a pizza box nestled against his side and his books stacked on top. "Hey." he smiled. "Ready to study?"

"About that.." my face reddened slightly "I don't think here would be best.."

"Why not? C'mon Helga I'm sure it'll be fine!" despite my protests in the doorway he pushed past me. "So… what did you want to focus on first?" he cracked open his notebook and thumbed through the pages while simultaneously avoiding the hazards on the floor before nonchalantly sitting down at the foot of my bed. His expression hardened for a moment, reaching underneath his leg he pulled a black and pink polka dotted bra out. He held it away from himself with two fingers, tossing it back on the floor. "So what'll it be?"

While Arnold flipped through his notes he had yet to realize I hadn't moved from my spot in the doorway. My jaw was hanging open and the sound I was making could only be described as a cross between a dying pig and a dolphin going through a wood chipper.

"You alright?" he finally glanced up at me.

"Yeah" I loudly cleared my throat. "There's only one problem.."

"What is it?"

"I sort of lost my notes…" I spun in a circle with my arms outstretched "In this hell hole."

"Not a problem. We can share my notes for now." he scooted over on the bed and patted the spot next to him. "I'll make copies of them tomorrow if you'd like."

"You are such a goody-goody football head!"

"Whatever you say Helga." he pulled his pen from his notebook and began scribbling something down. "I'm just trying to be a good friend."

I hesitantly walked over to my bed and plopped down next to him, being careful not to make contact with him. The last thing I needed was to get a bad case of the warm and fuzzies with Arnold in the same room as me…. Alone… and unsupervised. It would only end in some form of assault. Whether it be physical or sexual was undecided. I hoped I would never have to know.

Once we actually got into the material for our final things went pretty smoothly. We hardly argued at all, and I was actually feeling pretty confident in my mathematical abilities. Our pizza box was tossed on the floor along with the rest of the junk food we consumed in the past several hours and we were both getting deliriously bored from staring at mathematical equations for hours on end.

"It's already twenty past midnight." I groaned into my palms "_Please_ tell me we're done?"

"We still have one more chapter to go over." he let out a heaving sigh before plopping down next to my reclining figure on the bed.

"My brain needs a break football head. Crimeny, I'm going to be seeing numbers when I close my eyes!"

"You're right" he wiggled around against the mattress, making himself comfortable. "So what's new with you?"

"Nothing new to report… why?" My awkward gaze met with his curious one.

"So you didn't call… what was his name again? _Jason? _Or something like that.."

"Jason?" my eyes widened. "No! Why would I call him?"

_And why do you care?_

"Didn't he tell you to call him up sometime? I just figured maybe-"

"I'd call him up and rekindle our special friendship?" I scoffed indignantly at the mere thought. Did Arnold really think I'd go back into that situation after all this time? "Jason and I were a joke."

"But you agreed to it-" he sat up on his elbow, giving me a hard stare.

"At the time it seemed like a good idea. You know? Two friends who were able to hook up at any given time and could part ways and shake hands afterwards. It seemed flawless."

_Shut up Helga! Before you scare him with this nonsense._

"But it wasn't." he continued to press the subject further. I _really_ didn't want to dissect my failed sexual experiment with him.

I decided to ask the obvious question "Why are you so interested in this all of the sudden?"

He grabbed one of my pillows and shoved it underneath his head. "When Trixie and I were dating… it was always so complicated. She wanted to spend every waking and eventually _sleeping_ hours together. I spent less and less time with the people I cared about." he glanced over at me before quickly looking away. "And it was only right before we broke up I realized… me and Trixie weren't friends."

"She was your girlfriend."

"Isn't your significant other supposed to be.. I don't know… your best friend? Someone you could tell everything to? With Trixie everything was black and white.."

"Again, why the interest in friends with benefits? You planning on hitting up some desperate girl?" my heartbeat sped up to a particularly unhealthy pace.

He let out a hearty laugh and shook his head "No! I don't think I could do it. I'd probably be stupid enough to fall in love."

"Sex isn't love.." I blurted out, backing myself into the headboard of my bed. "Sex is simply that… intimacy." the route this conversation was heading to was straight into territory I didn't want to enter. I was starting to feel sick to my stomach..

"There's always feelings involved Helga. No matter how minuscule the feelings are… they're still there." he rolled over on to his stomach so he could look at me. "Are you saying you didn't have _any_ feelings for Jason during those six months you two fooled around?"

"What does it matter football head? It's in the past!" my rampant temper was starting to get the best of me. Talking about 'feelings' was never my strong point and Arnold knew exactly how to push my buttons until I exploded.

"I may not say it out loud… but I consider you one of my best friends Helga. You've grown up so much since we've met. I respect you far too much to judge you on your past experiences, and if-"

"I was insanely into him! Alright? Satisfied?" hearing Arnold's heartfelt speech made me unwillingly crack. Ever since our youth Arnold was always dying to know this part of me that I keep hidden. It continues to get harder and harder to push him away… and it has been scaring me to death how close he is to breaking me. "I wanted him... But he didn't want me. Story of my life!" I muttered lowly, making sure I missed his gaze completely.

"He just wanted the sex?"

"He wanted all fun and no commitment. I was naive enough to believe I could go along with it."

"Didn't you say he had a girlfriend at some point?" a look of realization hit him.

"Like I said… he didn't want _me._" my eyes began watering slightly. I had spent a long time trying to erase that painful memory. Rehashing it with the secret object of my affections wasn't exactly helping.

"Nobody should ever be treated like they're nothing but a sexual organ." a low growl escaped the back of his throat. "It makes me so _angry!_"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you _Arnold!_ The eternal romantic slash optimist!"

"Ha. Ha." he deadpanned. "For your information, I make mistakes too… I've had romantic blunders."

"So I've heard." I glared at him. "But you won't share with _me!_ Your so called... what was it again? '_Best friend_'?"

His face drained of all it's color. "It's beyond embarrassing Helga!"

"More embarrassing than having a fuck buddy dump you for a better piece of ass?" I screeched. He stared at me for several seconds before sighing heavily and burying his head into my pillow.

_Note to self: never wash pillow again_.

"No judging. Alright?"

"I swear" I held both hands up.

"Well…" He rolled back over so he didn't have to look directly at me. "Last year the frat got invited to their sister sorority's New Years Eve party. You were spending it back at home because Olga was in town if I recall correctly. Anyway…They guys were teasing me about my lack of a sex drive. While they hook up with girl after girl at parties I was always the one they bragged to afterwards. They got this crazy notion in my head that I was somehow missing out on some sort of grand experience. And since we were going to a party that was bound to be full of girls, everyone was encouraging me to finally (in their words) 'have a good time'… so I met this girl that night-"

"Oh my _god!_" I cackled in amusement. "I have no idea what happens next, but I'm already titillated."

"Oh shush." he grimaced slightly "Anyway, we spent a good portion of the night talking. She was a biology major from North Dakota here on a scholarship. I actually thought she was really nice…" he smiled to himself.

_Whore._

"I was kind of shocked when _she _suggested we take things somewhere more private. It turned out all the bedrooms were taken, so she ended up dragging me into the supply closet downstairs where she then proceeded to kiss me."

"I'm waiting for the embarrassing part here!"

His eyes narrowed at me, instantly shutting me up. "The next thing I knew she was tugging at my belt and undoing my pants. I didn't know up from down at that point… I had never done anything so brazen before, I didn't know how to react! The next thing I knew I was pressed against the door while she… she… uh.."

"Polished your knob?" I snickered outwardly, grimacing profusely on the inside. I can't imagine _any_ woman putting their mouth on a goody-goody like Arnold.

"_Anyways…_ I guess during that whole fiasco I somehow…ugh.." he cringed. "Hit the door handle. And I sort of… fell… _out_." his cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

"You're telling me you fell out of the closet?….. With you flagpole raised?" I cupped my mouth to contain the obscenities I wanted to shout.

"I landed on my back… in the middle of that crowded party." he covered his eyes "Everyone got a great view."

"Wait wait wait!" I furiously shook my head "Is that why the sorority girls giggle every time they see you? I always thought they were hot for you! Holy SHIT!"

"I'm glad my misfortune amuses you." he sneered.

I could spend possibly _years_ finding ways to tease him about this. But for some reason I actually took pity on him. His stupid frat brother buddies took him out of his comfort zone and it got him humiliated. I could totally understand why he never wanted to talk about it.

"You know what?" I moved from my end of the bed to his, laying next to his feet. "We're allowed to make asses out of ourselves in college! It's kind of a given. Didn't you learn something from the experience?"

"Never do that near a door?" he laughed.

"Amen to that dingdong." I tugged on his pant leg. "We all end up doing wild and crazy stuff at some point. You can't let your mistakes define you."

"Is that why you don't date?" his eyebrow raised.

"_That_ is by choice."

"There's nobody you want to be with?" he quietly yawned, stretching himself out a little.

"Dating is so overrated." his yawn produced a chain reaction from me. "Besides, dating is a two way street.. I doubt anyone wants me."

"_You never know until you try_" he yawned again.

"For as long as I can remember I've never been good with guys Arnoldo. There's something about me that just screams '_friend_' to anyone with a set of testicles. I keep thinking the right one will see beyond my tough exterior and see the mushy good hearted center I try to keep safe behind this seemingly impenetrable wall I've built." I let out a long sigh "Who am I kidding? Nobody sees me as a girl anyway.." I glanced over at Arnold to find his eyes shut and his breathing coming out rhythmically with the rise and fall of his chest… he was asleep. It was nearing two am… waking him up and forcing him to walk back to his dorm would be completely rude. I curled up into the fetal position and smiled to myself.. Arnold was sleeping next to me in _my_ bed..

"_I see you.._" he slurred.

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><p><strong>I hope my lateness was somehow made up for even a LITTLE bit at the end of this chapter =P haha<strong>

**I hope you all enjoyed! Chapter 5 is already in production and I PROMISE I won't be taking a ridiculously long break like that again. Don't lose faith! haha**

**(any mistakes in this chapter will hopefully be fixed after I've slept! lol.. I'm going on 48 hours no sleep, but I promise I'll fix stuff later!)**


	5. Loser of the year

**Hola everyone! Haha.. I just want to say THANK YOU for the lovely feedback on the last chapter. I feel terrible for keeping you waiting for soooo long last time, so I'm trying to update MUCH quicker this time around. I thank you ALL for being awesome and encouraging me to continue. I appreciate it! =) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

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><p><strong>Helga's POV:<strong>

His final words last night: '_I see you_' played over and over in my head for hours before I could finally fall asleep. Was he awake when he said it? Was he sleep-talking? UGH. I didn't know what to think. And what exactly did he _mean_ by '_I see you_'? He sees me as more than a tomboy? He sees that I'm deathly afraid of showing him how I really feel? Damn it all… for as long as I can remember he's possessed this power to send me into an emotional tailspin at the drop of a pin. Those three words were always going to be echoing in my mind every time I saw him. It wasn't until around 4:30 I was finally able to fall into a restless sleep. But even during sleep my mind was plagued by his words, repeating over and over to the point of irritation. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I felt the sunshine pouring through my window and cutting through the early morning December chill. As much as I didn't want to I knew I had to wake up and face whatever was about to transpire from the previous night. I groggily lifted an eyelid open and scanned my surroundings, I hadn't moved from my spot on the end of the bed and I was still in the fetal position. I un-balled myself and craned my neck to look at Arnold who was still stretched out on the other end, eyes closed and resting peacefully. The alarm clock on my nightstand read 8:02 am… It wouldn't be very long until the other people in my dorm would be waking up and heading out for the day… and also putting Arnold at risk for getting caught leaving _my_ dorm room.

"_Football head_?" I sat up on my elbows. "Hey.." I said a little louder but still got no reaction. Out of instinct I kicked my leg out, connecting my foot to his hip. _That_ caused him to jolt out of his peaceful sleep.

His upper body shot up into an upright position, eyes still closed and arms flailing "Don't move! I'll call 911!" his eyes finally opened when I remained silent. "Oh thank _God_!" he let out a relieved sigh at the sight of me, dropping back on to the mattress.

"Good morning to you too." I snickered.

"Sure, laugh all you want." he yawned "Eugene wakes me up every morning with some sort of crisis… or Broadway musical soundtrack. I've come to expect it." he sat back up, stretching his back and simultaneously checking the alarm clock. "How long have you been up?"

"A few minutes. I figured I better wake you before you completely drown my pillows with your drool." I playfully jousted him with my foot again. "You were really sawing logs football head!"

"Hey! I do _not_ drool!" despite his declaration his eyes traveled to the pillows.

"I'm just kidding dude!" I rolled off the bed and picked up my math book. "I guess I'll have to finish the last chapter some other time." I turned my back towards him and flipped through the pages of the book, pretending I was actually paying attention to its contents. I honestly didn't know what to say.

"_Hey_.." he suddenly appeared directly behind me "Sorry I fell asleep like that last night. I promised I'd help you study.."

I glanced over my shoulder at him and managed to give a weak smile "It's fine. I think I can handle one chapter on my own."

"Are you sure you need any help?"

"No!" I said a little too quickly, startling us both. "I mean.. no, I'll be fine. But thanks… I guess." a few awkward seconds passed before I cleared my throat and turned to face him again. "You should probably get going. I'm sure tall hair boy is probably looking for you."

"I somehow doubt that." he chuckled "You know Gerald doesn't like rising any time before 1 on the weekends!"

"Don't you need to check on Eugene? You never know when that walking disaster flick will start a fire." why did I get the feeling he didn't want to leave so quickly?

His eyes widened suddenly "On that note, I _should_ get going." he began gathering up all his books that had scattered along the disaster area also known as my floor. I opened the door and glanced down the hall… So far so good. Nobody was out there yet. "Well, I think that's everything." He joined me in the doorway with his books stacked under his arm. "Look, I know this may have been a little… _unorthodox_ and all… but thanks for letting me crash here last night. I enjoyed the night off from Eugene. There's only so much chaos one person can take on a daily basis." he nudged me playfully.

"No problem football head. And uh…. I guess thanks for loaning your brainpower for the evening..." at that point I was ready to shove him out the door. Did he actually _enjoy_ this awkward banter?

"No problem at all Helga. Whenever you need help all you have to do is ask-"

"Alright _alright_ football head! Enough with this mushy gushy bullshit! You're putting me in a sugar coma! Now get your oddly shaped head out of here!" I shoved him harshly out the door and slammed it in his face without giving him a chance to object. When I heard his footsteps walking away I let out a loud groan. "_Why _Helga? Why did you have to turn to anger and violence? WHY? Why couldn't I have been nice and accepted his kind offer? But nooooooo! I have to _yell_ at the poor boy after we spent the whole night together actually _getting along_! UGH!" I kicked the edge of my bed frame, promptly falling to the ground and howling in pain. Why did I let this whole situation get to me? What happened last night was completely innocent, there was nothing unsavory to speak of! So why was it tweaking me out so much?

'_I see you_'

"Dammit!" I hissed. "I need to talk to Phoebe!" I dug through the junk that was scattered on the floor until I found my phone. I pressed her number on the speed dial and waited impatiently for her to answer.

"_Hello_?" a groggy voice spoke lowly on the other end.

"Phoebs!" pressing my back against the door for support I let out a long sigh "I SLEPT WITH ARNOLD LAST NIGHT!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

The next thing I heard was a loud thump followed by a muffled '_GOOD GOD_' and some kind of a struggle. "_Hello? Helga?_" her voice sounded panicked.

"I'm still here Phoebs."

"_Did you just say what I THINK you did?_"

"Yeah… you heard right."

"_You two had SEX last night? How? Why? What happened?_" her voice kept picking up speed with each word coming from her mouth.

"Whoa whoa WHOA Phoebe! Shift back into neutral here for a second! Let me reiterate, Arnold and I _literally_ slept together… no hanky panky."

"_He slept in your bed?_" she clarified "_With you?_"

"Yes… he came over last night to help me study for my math final. At some point he fell asleep and I just… didn't wake him up. So I went to sleep too. I'm just a little wigged out now. Is my psychotic meltdown justifiable Phoebs? Or am I just a loon?"

"_So NOTHING happened? No inappropriate contact of any kind?_" I heard her shifting in her bed. "_You didn't…. try anything?_" she said a little softer.

"NO! It was strictly platonic! What do you take me for Phoebs? I'm not a rapist, Crimeny!"

"_I'm sorry Helga! I didn't mean it like THAT… I just wanted to make sure you hadn't.. uh… 'made your move' I guess. And as for your question, you're not a LOON. I think the fact you two shared the same bed has you thinking you've somehow blown whatever friendship you've created. I think as long as Arnold was okay with it there should be nothing to fear. If he didn't view it as sexual or inappropriate everything will be alright._"

"I really wish you were here Phoebs." I sighed. "You're one of the few people who I count on to bring my down from my psychotic freak outs."

"_I was going to be calling you later today about that actually. I'm coming home for winter break to see my parents!_"

"REALLY? This is awesome Phoebs! I haven't seen you since my birthday! You know you have to stay with me a few nights right?"

"_Certainly Helga! I'm looking forward to it_." an awkward silence suddenly overtook us "_So…_" she paused.

"So.."

"_Did….. anything __**else**__….. happen while he was there?_"

It was almost like Phoebe _knew_ when I had something else to say. I blame her perceptiveness. "Well now that you mention it… I wanted your opinion on something he said."

"_What happened?_" I could tell she was preparing herself for one of my long winded speeches.

"We ended up having this _really_ weird conversation about me and Jason-"

"_He KNOWS about JASON?_" she abruptly interrupted, horror etched in her voice.

"Yes Phoebs.. I told him. But he's fine with it! He offered no criticism whatsoever." I waited for some sort of response but instead was left with silence on her end, I took that as my signal to continue my story "Anyway.. We were talking about friends with benefits and sex… he started talking about Trixie and how they weren't really friends at all, and that all they had between them was sex. And then I ended up saying sex was simply an action, that there didn't have to be love involved. Then the bastard got me to admit that I had more than friendly feelings for Jason. I felt like such an _idiot_ for admitting it out loud. Can you believe he managed to wrangle that out of me?" I paused for less than a second, never giving her time to respond. "But in return I got him to talk about one of his darkest moments. It was so weird to know he trusted me enough to tell me. For the first time since I've known him I felt _important_ to him!" I held the phone a little tighter next to my ear, still pondering his last words from that night. "The real kicker in this story is after he fell asleep…. Well, I _think_ he was asleep. I'm not really sure. But the point is… I started rambling to him about how boys don't want me and how they cant see me as anything more than one of the boys… I thought by then he was fast asleep. But a few seconds later he said '_I see you_' really drowsily! What did he _MEAN _by that Phoebs?"

Phoebe expelled a long breath before inhaling even deeper. "_I…. I-I honestly am a little speechless here Helga._"

"That isn't helping me Phoebs! I'm going nuts here! He gave no inkling this morning that he remembered telling me anything." I frantically began pacing around my room.

"_You're not going to like my solution, Helga... But you need to just ask him. You may think it risks things between you two, but I think you need to start giving Arnold more credit. He cares about you and respects you, it's obvious because he was willing to bare himself to you in ways he doesn't with just anyone. And you obviously extend that respect to him as well, seeing as you never even told ME you liked Jason. You two aren't 9 anymore and it's time for you to face things head on with respect and dignity._"

"A tiger can't change it's stripes Phoebe! I _slammed_ the _door_ in his face this morning!" I groaned. "I can't do this Phoebe! Being open and honest with Arnold will only end with me losing everything! Putting up a front is the safest thing to do."

"_Is that why you call me for advice? Because you want to continue with this 'front' you speak of? Helga I've known you since we were three years old. You don't need me or ANYONE telling you what you should be doing. Because deep inside you know what's right. You just need to stop over thinking every thought and emotion so much."_

Phoebe was right. Phoebe was _always _right about these things. She knew me like the back of her hand. She saw through my tough girl façade better than anyone on this planet… but it didn't mean she could change me. For years she has tried getting through to me with her words of wisdom. I hear every word she says and I love her to death for trying… but risking losing Arnold was one risk I refused to take, and she knew it.

"_Are you alright Helga_?" she squeaked. I knew that Phoebe knew the answer already

"I'll be fine Phoebs… but thanks for listening to me rant about trivial things in the wee hours of the morning. I owe you one."

"_Don't mention it_." she chuckled. "_Call me anytime._"

"Talk to you later Phoebe." I snapped my phone shut and tossed it on my bed. For some reason I was failing to feel any better after talking with Phoebe. I felt sick to my stomach and extremely on edge. What was I so on edge about anyway? I had no justifiable reason to be freaked out besides being completely mental. Arnold didn't seem to give last night a second thought, so why should I? "Damn it all!" I huffed, plopping face down on to my bed. The moment my face made contact with the pillows Arnold's scent filled my nose. "Oh sweet merciful mother of all creation." I grabbed the pillow and held it to my nose, inhaling deeply. After a few seconds of gratuitous swooning I pulled the pillow away from my face and tossed it away from me entirely. "I…. am so….. _fucked_."

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><p><strong><em>**Two Weeks Later**<em>**

I've never really been the center of attention. I prided myself on that. In some twisted way I enjoyed slipping into the background and studying everyone else from afar. Nobody ever knew my business, but I _always_ knew theirs. It was the way I liked things. But as luck would have it, lately it seemed everyone around me was in on something that I wasn't yet aware of. Someone was always whispering and staring… I _detested_ not knowing, _especially_ if it had something to do with me! I grew up being a social leper, I didn't want to fall out of the loop ever again. The question was; who did I have to pimp slap to get the information?

As if on cue, the world's most unholy sound met my ears, "Helga G. Pataki! Just the person I was looking for!" Rhonda slid in across from me in my secluded booth in the back of the campus diner.

"Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, just the person I was avoiding!" I tossed my spoon back into my oatmeal and began sliding out of the booth.

"Oh no you don't!" she grabbed my wrist.

"Listen princess, it's _way_ too early in the morning for me to spar with you to my fullest capabilities. Now if you don't mind, the coffee machine in my dorms common room is calling my name." I shook my arm to break her grasp but she wouldn't budge. "Do _not_ test me when there are knives present."

"For someone who scored the ultimate prize you're pretty crabby." she released my wrist and leaned back into the booth.

"Ultimate prize?" my eyes narrowed. "What the fuck are you smoking?"

"Oh puh-_leez_!" she scoffed. "I'm surprised you aren't shouting from the rooftops and prancing through fields of daisies."

"If you don't tell me what the _hell_ you're talking about I will strangle you with my bare hands!" I leaned across the table, menacingly getting in her face.

Unlike most people, Rhonda didn't fear me. She didn't even bat an eyelash with my threat. If anything she looked amused by my irritation. "I have to admit, I figured you had no idea what you were doing. I even _pitied_ you! But _wow_ Helga… just… WOW. I take my metaphorical hat off to you." I continued to stare at her in extreme irritation, waiting for her to come to her conclusion. "I never believed in a million years Arnold would ever hop in the sack with a lifelong tomboy with a bad attitude!" my jaw fell open "You are giving hope for _millions_ of freaks and losers out there! I-"

"Hold the _freakin'_ phone!" I choked on whatever air was in my lungs. "Where on earth did this information come from?" I was a _dead_ woman. No doubt about it… my world was over. O.V.E.R. Was _this_ why people were looking at me funny? _Good lord!_

"It wasn't that hard to figure out." she smirked. "A little birdie told me they saw Arnold sneaking out of your dorm room one morning a few weeks ago."

"And that means we were screwing around?" I rolled my eyes in an attempt to seem nonchalant over the whole thing. Inside I wanted to crawl in a hole and die…

"Your little declaration inside your dorm that morning isn't doing you any favors Pataki. Half the people on your _floor_ heard!"

_Note to self: whisper everything from now on._

"What do you know princess? You weren't there! Don't you think the situation has _obviously_ been misconstrued?" I began sliding out of the booth again, I refused to feed into Rhonda's mind games.

"Well… _Arnold_ didn't say they were wrong." she crossed her arms in front of her when I flinched as if someone stabbed me, she was satisfied that she finally hit the right nerve.

"Y-… You talked to Arnold?" I sunk back into my previous position.

"I went to him for confirmation because _obviously_ I didn't buy the story at first." she examined her manicured nails before giving me a once over. "And now I'm here to congratulate you on a job well done."

She had to have been screwing with me. It had to be a test of some sort… most likely a rouse to get me to admit to something she wanted to hear. There was no _way_ Arnold would go along with something like that at my expense… she had to be full of it. "And what did he say exactly?"

"I told him I knew his little secret. He gave me this weird look and asked if I had talked to you. I told him no, that I had gone to him first… and then I asked him if you were as controlling in bed as you are when you're _not_ naked."

"Son of a-!" I hissed.

"ANYWAY." she was taking great pleasure in holding all the cards in this situation "I told him what I told you… and then he started giving me this whole speech about how what you two do or don't do together is your business. And quite frankly darling, anyone who's anybody has heard about it by now. Who _wouldn't_ be interested in hearing how the semi-quasi lesbian of Hillwood U actually _bagged_ a hottie like Arnold?"

"… Does the frat know?" it took every ounce of my strength to not burst into tears in front of a scorpion like Rhonda. She would get nothing but joy out of my pain.

She flicked her wrist dismissively at me "Those _wieners_ are too busy doing keg stands and humping each other like dogs to keep up in the social game."

"How about you do me a favor Princess?" I finally slid out of the booth and leaned against the table, blocking her only exit. "Stay _out_ of my personal life! What does it MATTER who I do or don't sleep with?" my voice was getting exponentially louder, causing some people to start staring at us "I can bone every guy from here to kingdom come! IT'S MY BUSINESS!" I slammed my fist against the table. "If Arnold just so happens to be on that list, WHO CARES? It's my vagina, my business! CRIMENY!" an abrupt silence fell across the diner at the conclusion of my rant. I let Rhonda win again… I got upset.

"How about you do _yourself_ a favor?" she nudged me out of the way and slid out of the booth and stood up, bringing us face to face. "Take a Midol. Public breakdowns are _so_ not kosher. Not to mention terrible for your complexion." she flicked a strand of her long raven locks over her shoulder before grabbing her stuff and walking towards the exit.

"You are such a-!" I turned in the direction she was leaving and standing by the cash register I made eye contact with one of the last people I wanted to see.

"_Danny_.." I said just above a whisper. His eyes were wide in shock, mouth agape. As long as I've known the frat brothers they've never seen me in any real emotional distress. I kept those feelings very hidden for obvious reasons. Only _girls_ act like I just did… and he was here to witness it. Without a word Danny slowly backed away towards the door, exiting in a hurry and leaving me in a crowded diner full of spectators witnessing the chaos Rhonda just created. I scanned the room before tossing my hands in their air "Show's over bitches! You may now continue stuffing your faces." I grabbed my bag off the table and stormed out of the diner, practically leaving with my tail between my legs. I wanted to kill Arnold for not correcting Rhonda in the first place... And I wanted to punch _myself_ for not correcting her either. What the _hell_ was wrong with me? What was so hard about saying '_you're way off base! We never slept together. EVER!_'… why did I have to beat around the bush? Now I would inevitably be paying for it, especially since Danny witnessed my semi-breakdown in a public setting. And now he was probably wondering if I really _did _sleep with Arnold. And he was probably barely realizing I possessed a vagina after years of me seeing him peeing into potted plants when he was wasted.

The shrill ring of my cell phone erupted from my bag as I blindly dug around for it. On the screen it said '_One new message: Douche bag'_ or also known as Danny… I let out an audible gulp before opening the message. '_ur dirty lil secret's safe w/me Pataki. Who knew u had it in ya?_' followed by a smiley face…

I mentally reread the message several times before shakily pounding out '_stfu_ _Douche bag!'_ If Arnold wasn't going to rectify the situation, then neither was I.

Two can play _that_ game.

* * *

><p>It was way too early in the morning for me to be operating heavy machinery. But I was given the duty of picking Phoebe up at the train station that morning….. <em>7am <em>to be exact. For the first time in several weeks I was forced to take my junky Honda out of it's covered parking space and drive it through the icy streets of Hillwood. The train station was practically deserted at this hour, I was the only person waiting. When her train pulled up I sprung off the bench and waited anxiously as a handful of people exited the train. A small Asian girl appeared behind everyone else, struggling to hold up a large duffle bag.

"Phoebs!" I rushed up to her and threw my arms around her tiny waist, lifting her and the duffle bag up in one swift motion and twirling in a circle.

"Goodness!" she chuckled. "Hello to you too Helga!"

"I haven't seen you in nine _months_!" I lowered her back on to the floor, taking her bag and tossing the strap over my shoulder. "Now lets get the heck out of here. There's a bum outside wearing a trench coat who offered to give me a private viewing."

"Oh _dear_.." she followed closely behind me as we walked back to my car, making it a point not to make eye contact with the creepy flashing bum. I really can't blame her for not wanting to see some tweaked out guys junk.

Since I woke up early to get her, Phoebe offered to buy me breakfast and 'catch up'. Who was I to say no to free food? For some reason though, I had a feeling Phoebe was luring me with food because she wanted to discuss the incident with Rhonda a few days ago. I told her the gist of it but I really didn't want to get into it again. Arnold had been inconspicuously MIA the past few days which was only adding to my frustration and curiosity. Knowing Arnold didn't correct Rhonda disturbed me in a way. He _wasn't_ that type of guy…

"You seem distracted Helga." Phoebe pushed around the fruit in her yogurt, giving me her all knowing '_spill it_' look.

"I'm fine. Just sleepy I guess.." I feigned a yawn, averting my gaze from hers. By the time our eyes met again she was full on glaring at me. "Okay! Crimeny Phoebs… I'm just a little freaked out lately. Can you blame me? I'm on edge all the time about the guys finding out about that stupid rumor and finding myself all alone every Saturday night playing solitaire for the rest of my college experience!"

"I thought Danny said he wouldn't tell-"

"Why is Arnold nowhere to be found?" I pushed my plate away from me. "We usually see each other all the time around campus."

"So this is more about Arnold than about the frat."

_Oh damn me and my big mouth_.

"Quit psychoanalyzing me, dammit Phoebs!" after everything I've had to deal with lately I really just wanted to curl into a ball and disappear. Why couldn't everyone just _forget_ Arnold slept in my room? Why couldn't everything go back to a few months ago before Arnold kissed my cheek and triggered all this ridiculously unnecessary sexual tension?

Phoebe's hand reached across the table and covered mine, giving it a light squeeze and offered a sympathetic smile. "It's winter vacation Helga… people visit their families. Have you ever considered that maybe Arnold is staying with his grandparents for a few days?"

Like I said, Phoebe always has a way of looking at things from a different perspective. It never even crossed my mind that he was visiting his family. _Now_ I felt like a total dumbass for worrying and losing sleep over nothing. "The guys never called and cancelled poker night… it _is _tonight.." I trailed off.

"Then I'm sure it's still on!" she smiled brightly. "My parents are planning on taking me out for sushi tonight or else I'd come with you to see Arnold…. and Gerald." her cheeks reddened slightly at the mention of Gerald's name. As far as carrying torches go Phoebe is right behind me in the contest for the world's longest crush. Now that I've gotten to know the 'guy' side of Gerald I'm relieved they never got together. She's _way_ too good for him and his tricks.

"Phoebe, I hope you understand that _every_ time you're in town he puts on his church boy routine for you. He's not the same guy we knew in junior high… hell, high school for that matter!"

"Gerald is just misunderstood is all. You only see the negative in him because you're a concerned friend. He's actually very sweet to me."

"Crimeny Phoebs! You have a vagina… a vagina! _A VAGINA! _One that he will do or say _anything_ to get his ovarian pool stick inside of! His sugary sweet attitude is a little thing the guys I hang out with like to call '_artificial sweetener'. _You've been force fed bullshit!" As if on cue several sets of eyes fell on me. This was becoming far too familiar of a scenario. "Yeah that's right, I said **VAGINA**! What now?" I shouted at everyone watching us. Phoebe sank as low as she possibly could into her seat, completely mortified and red faced. "_I lost my dignity a long time ago Phoebs… what do I care_?" I muttered lowly.

"You're way too stressed out Helga. Do you really think it's wise to go to the card game tonight?"

"What?" I let out an indignant huff. "Why wouldn't I go? I _always_ go!"

"Do you think you'll be able to control your temper for the evening without screaming out clinical names for the female anatomy?"

"I'm just not having a good week, alright? As soon as I'm with them everything will be fine. Their idiotic banter is my _escape_ from reality! I appreciate the concern Phoebs, but it isn't necessary."

I knew I was in denial about this whole thing. I may be mental, but I'm not an idiot. Things we're inevitably going to change between me and the guys after everything that happened… or at least a portion of that group (Arnold, Danny..) because they knew and saw far too much of the real me for my liking. It was always going to be a dark cloud hanging over me. It's not like I could wipe my slate clean and start fresh… not in this world. I got upgraded from (in the words of Rhonda) a "semi-quasi lesbian" to an unstable tomboy who supposedly hopped in the sack with someone considerably out of my league. Everything that happens from this point on will always have me wondering if there's some sort of underlying subliminal messages hidden in our banter…. Maybe Phoebe was right. Maybe I _shouldn't_ go to play cards tonight. I really did need time to recharge and regroup….. Psh! When did I listen to Phoebe anyway?

Me and Phoebe had spent the whole day together and it was nearing 7 o'clock. Phoebe kept repeatedly bringing up the fact I hadn't outwardly said whether I was going or not. I know she was just concerned about me, but if anything her persistence was only pushing me to face my fear instead of avoid it.

"Are you sure about this Helga?" Phoebe stood behind me as I messed with my hair in the mirror.

"YES Phoebs.. I'll be okay. If at any point I feel like I'm going to snap I'll just leave." our gazes met in the reflection in the mirror. "And you say _I _worry too much!" I playfully stuck my tongue out. Instead of playing along Phoebe looked down at her feet and shook her head. "Aw come on Phoebe!" I turned around and gently shook her shoulders. "I'm a big girl. I know what I'm doing."

"I just hate seeing you get hurt Helga. You're my best friend and I love y-OOF!" I pulled her against me into a tight hug. Hearing someone say 'I love you' elicited odd feelings from me. In my life I had only heard that phrase said to me a total of three times. And one time was from Arnold's demented cousin Arnie, which totally didn't count.

"I know Phoebs.." I ruffled her hair. "Come on… lets get you to your parents house."

* * *

><p>"You can do this. You CAN do this…" I repeated to myself over and over as I made my way down the familiar cobblestone path. When I reached the front door I took a deep breath and hung my head for several seconds to collect myself before lifting my head high and knocking harshly on the wooden door. "<em>I can do this<em>."

It took several minutes before I could finally hear someone coming towards the door. Louis cracked the door open, failing to unlock the chain, and partially poked his head out to give me a once over. "Pataki? What are you doing here?" his eyebrow raised skeptically.

"It's poker night ya dip! Now move!" I took a step towards the door and pushed on it, but it didn't budge under his weight. "Unlock the door and let me in!"

"There's no game tonight…. Uh….didn't… you…um… hear?" he looked around nervously.

"Very funny Louis. Now let me in!" I hit the door a little harsher.

"We're not having a game tonight! I swear!" just as he finished his sentence I could hear a faint laughter coming from the other room along with the sound of poker chips hitting the wooden table. "umm.."

"You _swear_ huh?" I leaned against the doorframe. "Wanna know a secret?" I signaled him to lean closer. When he was less than a few inches away I reached my hand inside the crack and grasped him by his shirt, forcefully pulling his head into the much too small space and stretching his face against it with a loud thump. "_You're the level headed one here Louis._" I whispered and pulled him in again, stretching his face even further and making him groan. "_I'm giving you __**one**__ chance to settle the score. I will spare you bodily harm… now SPILL!_"

"_If you stop trying to stretch my face like silly putty I'll tell you!_" I released him with a light shove. After rubbing his face for a few seconds he leaned closer to the crack in the door and looked me dead in the eyes. "_They aren't telling me much… but the guys pulled me aside earlier and said Arnold isn't comfortable around you anymore and that poker night would be awkward with you here. So they told me to get rid of you by telling you poker night was cancelled and on an indefinite hiatus._"

"_Arnold agreed to this_?" I felt tears threatening to form in my eyes.

He glanced over his shoulder to makes sure nobody had listened in on our conversation. "_Look… I wasn't supposed to tell you any of this! I really need to go.._" his hand reach through and grabbed my arm. "_I'm really sorry…_"

I looked him in the eyes and nodded solemnly "_… me too._"

It was a long and lonely walk back to my dorm room that December night. I had officially been given the 'kiss of death' from Arnold and the frat. I haven't felt this alone since I was a kid! Everything I worked so hard to create was diminishing right before my eyes. I couldn't figure out why the big guy upstairs was so hell-bent on making my life miserable. What did I do to deserve it?

_Exist._

When I got back inside my dorm room I plopped down in my computer chair and stared at the ceiling. During this whole debacle there was one thing I couldn't figure out….. _why_ was Arnold pushing me away all of the sudden? Wasn't _he_ the one who practically gift wrapped me as a midmorning snack for Rhonda? He sold me down the river to further his own stupid reputation! Who did he think he was anyway? I opened the top drawer of my desk and pulled out the photo of me and Arnold from last St. Patrick's day and examined it. I stood up and hung it back up on my memory board, getting a pushpin and sticking it directly through his eye.

_Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn._

"The mask is off football head."

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><p><strong>So, this chapter isn't as long as the others and I'm sorry! (at least I updated quicker! Lol) but the NEXT chapter should be longer.<strong>

**What do YOU think Helga could possibly do? WILL she do anything? Will it make any sense? **

**Who knows! xD**


	6. Zero hour

**Gah! I'm terrible. I know I promised more frequent updates and I'm TERRIBLY sorry for making you all wait. I really am! Believe me when I say I never intended to take THIS long. I hope this chapter will at least somewhat make up for my lameness. Lol. Expect things to get a little… interesting. =P**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

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><p><em><strong>*Flashback*<strong>_

**Helga's POV:**

"Sugarplum retard meets streetwalker."

"_Helga_.."

"Barney as a crack whore?"

"_HELGA_!"

"What?" I hissed.

"_You're being much too dramatic about this. I helped you pick out the dress, and if I remember correctly you looked ravishing!_"

I gave myself a once over in the mirror before sighing in defeat. "Phoebe, I can't believe we're actually doing this stupid pact thing! We made that pact when we were _twelve _for Pete's sake! Can't we bend the rules?"

"_It's not stupid Helga. It's a milestone in our lives! A right of passage._" she sighed into the receiver. "_You're only 18 once you know. Tonight will be special because we're all together! We all promised Helga._"

I'll never quite understand how I ever let Phoebe and 'the gang' talk me into this crap. During seventh grade at our Spring Fling dance, Arnold, Gerald, Phoebe, Stinky, Sid, Lila, and myself were sitting at one of the tables and watching all the young couples on the dance floor swooning over each other. Sid had mentioned the irony that _all_ of us didn't have dates that night and had somehow wound up together at the 'reject table'. Even _Eugene_ and _Sheena_ had dates that night. Gerald claimed he didn't go with anyone because attending a dance 'single' was much less drama. _Amen_ to that. The last time I had a date to a dance he ended up throwing me into the YMAA pool. I wasn't really into dances anyway, I usually went to laugh at the losers who actually thought this was an acceptable form of fun. Stinky was the first person to mention high school prom. We weren't even _in_ high school yet! I didn't want to think about the possibility of ending up alone on prom night. One thing lead to another and then Arnold proposed a pact between the seven of us. If one person didn't have a date to the prom, _none_ of us would. And we would all go together as an 'anti-prom' bunch. I was the last one to grudgingly agree to this ridiculous pact before we all shook on it. By the time Senior prom was rolling around I was reminded by Phoebe about the pact. I hadn't even tried finding a date, it was the furthest thing from my mind! And thanks to my dazzling lack of social skills, all seven of us would now be attending our senior prom together and dateless. Nobody was more peeved about it than Gerald who had every intention of asking Phoebe to be his date. He angrily kept reminding me that I was a social leper. _So what_ if my top priority wasn't asking some buffoon to a corny formal dance so he could grind on me all night and try and spike my punch? I'll gladly be alone! I tried telling everyone to forget about the pact but Arnold was adamant that we follow through with our promises, he repeatedly said '_If ONE of us is dateless, ALL of us are. Nobody gets left behind!_' Leave it to Arnold to be the noble one in this situation. I didn't _want_ everyone to do this. It was stupid! I didn't even want to go to prom in the first place and now I was being _forced_ to go with a group of people who most likely wanted to kill me for their lack of mind blowing one and a half minute prom night nookie.

"This pact is ridiculous Phoebs! We were all young and stupid when we agreed to it. Tonight is going to be _extremely_ awkward! Everyone is mad at me!" I pulled several curlers out of my hair and let my locks fall over my shoulders before shaking my head and letting them come loose.

"_They aren't mad Helga. A promise is a promise!_"

"Bullshit!" I growled. "Stinky had to turn _Gloria_ down two weeks ago! He was FURIOUS with me! This is such horse shi-"

"_Okay! Okay… so maybe a few of them are upset, but tonight is going to be fun! I'm sure of it._"

"Fine fine FINE." I huffed. "What time are we meeting at Arnold's again? The limo is still picking us up there right?"

"_We're supposed to be there sometime before 7._"

I glanced over at my wall clock, it read 6:15. _Shit.._ "Alright Phoebs. I'll see you in a bit then?"

"_I look forward to it Helga! And remember, tonight is going to be fun!-_"

"I'm already leaping for joy!" I gushed in mock enthusiasm. "Later Phoebs." I tossed my phone on to my bed and groaned. "_Just kill me now_."

A half an hour later I found myself standing awkwardly on Arnold's stoop, completely dolled up in a some sort of purple-ish mini dress that Phoebe claimed made me look 'gorgeous'. I felt like a hooker clown and I _hated_ it! Arnold's grandpa answered the door and gave me a long, hard stare. "Take a picture! Crimeny." I hissed. A flash suddenly went off, blinding me. "What the fu-"

"Eleanor Roosevelt!" Arnold's grandma appeared next to his grandpa as my vision slowly came back… she was holding an obnoxiously big camera, prepared to strike again. This time I covered my face before the flash went off. "Nice of you to join us early! Where's Teddy?"

"Oh pipe down Pookie! You're blinding the poor girl!" Phil grabbed the camera from her hands and ushered her back so I could come inside.

"Early?" I asked mainly to myself.

"Shortman's up in his room." he gestured toward the stairs with an all-knowing smirk.

"Uh… thanks." I teetered by them in my heels and clunked my way upstairs. When I got to Arnold's room I knocked softly before opening the door and poking my head inside. "Hello?" I knocked again before walking in. "Football head? Anyone?"

"_Helga?_" Arnold's voice came out muffled from inside his closet before finally appearing in the doorway. He was dressed only in his tuxedo pants and a white undershirt. _Dear. God._ "What are you doing here already?" he glanced down at his watch. "It's only 6:20"

"What? Oh dammit! Not again!" I groaned. "My clock is on the fritz again! Bob won't buy new batteries.. Ugh.." Now I felt like a _total_ idiot.

"Oh.." he shifted awkwardly back and forth on his heels. "Well that's fine.. You can hang out here with me until the other show up. I don't mind."

_Be still my heart. No sudden swooning!_

"Whatever football head." I plopped down on his slide out couch. He shrugged off my attitude and disappeared back into the closet and reemerged with a white button up shirt in his hand, standing in front of the mirror he slipped it on. "So…" I attempted to break the awkward silence. "You excited?"

"I guess." He shrugged.

_Eloquent, football head._

We remained in total silence the whole time he was dressing. We were never exactly 'friends' during our high school experience, but I wasn't exactly the bully I once was either. We tolerated each other and I still occasionally jousted an insult his way every so often. And after several years of seeing doctor Bliss I had learned to somewhat control my harsh treatment of others… for the most part.

Arnold stood in front of his mirror with a concentrated/irritated face as he fiddled with his tie, unsuccessfully trying to fasten it. "Having fun over there?" I snickered. His eyes met mine in the reflection from the mirror, he was clearly not amused. "Need help?" I offered.

"You know how to do it?" he turned around and gestured to his tie.

I got up off the couch and stood in front of him, grabbing the tie and undoing the mess he made before tying it myself. "Big Bob always had Miriam tie his ties for him before his big business meetings." my knuckles grazed his chest and I desperately tried not to visibly shudder. "After a while he started asking me to do it… so I had to learn." Our gazes met and he smiled softly at me. I looked back down at the tie and tightened the knot until it was near his neck. "How's the feel?" my hands remained on the tie.

"Perfect! Thanks Helga.."

"Look… I'm sorry." I blurted out.

"What?" his brow furrowed. "Why?"

"I'm sorry I didn't get a date for tonight… I ruined it for everyone." my head hung lowly, voice soft.

"_Hey.._" his finger lifted my chin. "Don't be sorry Helga. I made a promise that night… _nobody_ gets left behind. We're going to have a good time tonight. _All_ of us.."

"I still feel bad Arnoldo.." I moved my head sharply away from his finger and tugged on his tie. "Ya know… you don't look half bad... For an undertaker."

"Thanks… I think." he chuckled. "You look…"

"Watch it football head." I smirked.

His hands landed on my shoulders and gave them a soft squeeze. "I was going to say you looked nice is all.."

"Oh-" I sputtered for several seconds "…Thank you..." I felt a slight blush forming on my cheeks. Why oh WHY did he have to be so damn nice all the time?

"Did you do your own hair too?" one of his hands left my shoulder and ran it through the bottom of my hair. "It's nice too… I like it." he smiled.

"Uh… y-yeah…" I realized I was probably full on blushing at that point. If anything Arnold only seemed amused by it. He and I both realized he had yet to take his hands off of me, our gazes met again and we were seemingly having a conversation with our eyes. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. All I knew was one of us had taken a step closer to the other.

"Helga.." he began

"Let's get this shit over with!" Gerald's voice boomed as Arnold's bedroom door flew open. Me and Arnold both took several steps away from each other. "Well well, if it isn't the leper." he glared at me. "She bugging you man?" he nodded in Arnold's direction.

Our eyes met again before he answered "Nah. It's fine.."

"Nice tux _Geraldo_." I deadpanned.

"Darn right!" he tugged on the lapel of his tux and grinned. "Too bad I don't have a _date _to impress." his eyes narrowed at me.

"Okay you two." Arnold stepped between us, placing his hand on my shoulder again. "We're going to have fun tonight, alright? I'm _begging_ you two to behave!"

"Fiiiiine." Gerald muttered. "I just came upstairs to warn you the others are here. We're all waiting on you two."

"Can you give me a sec?" he pointed at his closet. "Still gotta get my jacket."

"Sure bud.. See you downstairs." Gerald took off down the stairs without acknowledging me again. _Asshole.._

When I started to leave his room Arnold's fingers suddenly wrapped around my wrist and pulled me back in. "What gives?" I glared at him.

He took both my hands in his and sighed "Don't let Gerald get to you tonight, okay? He may be upset with you… but not all of us feel that way-"

"But, Stinky-"

"Will get over it." his thumb ran across my knuckles before releasing them with a light squeeze. "Tonight could be the best night of your life Helga… don't miss out on it." his index finger tapped under my chin "Just open your eyes to possibility."

"Right.." I slowly backed towards the door with a smile creeping on my face. "You're _so_ right Arnold."

"That's the spirit!" He grinned.

"See you downstairs football head!" I shot down the stairs in a flurry. I found the linen closet and rushed inside before letting out a loud scream. "Oh Arnold.." I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. "Could this be the sign I've been waiting for?"

A few moments later the door to the linen closet opened revealing Gerald with an angry expression etched on his face. "Any reason why you're hanging out in here?"

"I-"

"Frankly Pataki, I don't care." he rolled his eyes. "Just get out of there and quit screeching like a psychopath!"

"I saw a spider!" I slapped my forehead at my own deduction. "Just shut up!" I pushed past him and went downstairs to join the others.

"Helga! You look ever so pretty." Lila came up and linked my arm with hers, walking us both into the living room.

"Boy howdy!" Sid's eyes widened when he saw me.

"Helga! You look amazing." Phoebe came across the room to get a better look.

"You look awesome too Phoebs."

I was _dying_ to talk to Phoebe about what happened with Arnold. I told Phoebe at the beginning of this school year that this was last call for anything Arnold related. If nothing changed this year I was giving up for good. But after what happened upstairs I felt a new sense of hope… what happened up there was _not_ normal for us. I HAD to see what Phoebe thought.

"Limo's here." Stinky stomped inside, very clearly displaying his unhappiness.

Arnold came practically tumbling down the stairs while pinning his boutonnière to his jacket. "Let's get this show on the road!" his voice seemed extra chipper all of the sudden.

Everyone exchanged glances before all eyes fell on me. "Oh for Pete's sake! Get your asses in the limo! Crimeny!"

Several hours into prom I finally found my moment to spring this all on Phoebe. I waited until a group of girls walked past us "PHOEBE!" I practically tackled her once we were out of earshot of the leering bystanders. "I need to talk to you… NOW. Emergency! 911! SOS!"

"Certainly Helga." I dragged her to a more secluded location and began pacing frantically once we stopped. She let me pace for a few minutes before finally grabbing me and forcing me to stop. "What's going on?"

"I had a revelation tonight Phoebs… something _big_ happened!" my hands flew up wildly.

"What is it?"

"I showed up early tonight at Arnold's… it was kind of awkward, really. But…. But…" I took a deep breath. "Phoebe… something happened. Something that's _never_ happened between us before. There was this… _moment_, ya know? We looked at each other. And for the first time ever he gave me _that_ look! The look I've been dying to see. We were only inches apart and staring into each others eyes. It was _magical _Phoebs!" I grabbed her shoulders and shook her softly. "I-I… I think I'm going to do it Phoebe."

Her eyes widened in realization "You mean?-"

"Tonight is the night I'm going to tell Arnold how I _really_ feel! No more hiding! I have to do it! He told me himself to not let myself miss out on opportunity!"

"Are you sure you're ready for everything that goes along with telling the truth?"

"Yes." I answered without hesitation. "I've practically waited my whole life to feel this sense of hope Phoebe! I _can't_ just forget about it! If I don't do it now… I don't know if I ever will. We're graduating in a few months, and who knows if I'll have this chance again?"

"Helga.." she pulled me in for a soft hug. "I'll support you no matter what." she got a mischievous grin on her face and whispered "_go for it_."

"Thanks Phoebe.." I grinned.

And so my search for the football head began. Across the room I spotted Sid at the punch table chatting it up with a group of hipster girls, on the dance floor Stinky had found Gloria and the two of them were dancing to some cheesy slow song. Lila was hanging out with her 'farm boys' as I like to call them… they were more like her worshipers. "_Traitors_" I muttered under my breath. After fifteen minutes of searching around the ballroom of the hotel I couldn't find him anywhere. "_Where the heck are you football head?_" I stood on my tippy toes to get a better look.

"How about… -_wheeze-_… the patio?… -_wheeze-"_

Instead of connecting my first to Brainy's face, I turned towards him and softly patted his cheek. "Thanks"

This was it… my moment of truth. Everything I had been waiting for. My legs felt like jello and my heart felt like it was going to fly out of my chest. But I was FINALLY ready to do this, I _had_ to do it before I lost my nerve. I pushed through the glass doors and glanced around the patio, and there he was. He was leaning on the railing with his back facing towards me.

"Arnold!" I closed the doors behind me and began walking towards him. When I was just 7 or 8 feet away a set of hands draped over his shoulders, followed by the sound of giggling. I felt myself gasp loudly before forcing myself to hide behind one of the large potted plants. Arnold looked over his shoulder to where I was previously standing and I finally saw who he was with… _Trixie FREAKIN' Roberts…_ she was a girl from Arnold's calculus class. They both shrugged off the interruption and resumed their positions. Arnold leaned in closer towards her, not kissing her… but whispering something in her ear. He pulled away to gauge her reaction. She was blushing… which must have been a good sign, because Arnold leaned in again and pressed his lips to hers. I audibly retched at the sight, trying not to cry out in pain. I waited a few moments before creeping away slowly towards the door. At that exact moment Gerald was coming outside.

_Fantastic._

"Why are you all… ghostly?" he gave me a once over.

"I'm fine.. Just cold. Excuse me.."

Gerald moved out of the way and held the door open. "Oh wow!" his eyes traveled over to where Arnold and _Trixie_ were. "mmm mmm mmm…" he grinned. "It's about damn time!" he pointed over towards them "He's been putting the moves on her for months now. You should take some pointers from him Pataki."

I glanced over at the couple, forcing myself to hold back a sob. "I'll keep that in mind." instead of going back inside and went over to one of the empty benches on the patio and cried quietly to myself, facing away from any spectators. How could I have been so stupid? Of _course_ Arnold didn't mean anything this evening… he was just being Arnold.

"_Gerald!_" the sound of Phoebe's laughter came from a distance. I glanced over my shoulder and saw the two of them giggling together and Eskimo kissing. Against my better judgment I looked back over at Arnold and Trixie..

"_Nobody gets left behind.._" I whispered.

* * *

><p><em><strong>*Present Day*<strong>_

Helga G Pataki ain't NOBODY'S chump. Messing with me is usually an automatic death sentence or it earns you a trip to the ER. But now the situation was different. _This_ situation required more cunning then any sort of actual physical harm I could ever inflict. I didn't want Arnold dead or incapacitated. No, I had something _much_ worse planned for my football headed squeeze. If he wanted to mess with me, I was going to mess with him right back. Men have been objectifying women since the beginning of time, I always assumed Arnold was above that type of behavior… I was _wrong_. DEAD wrong.

"This is a very, _very_ bad idea Helga!" Phoebe's tiny hands grasped my arm. "It's only going to lead to trouble! I'm begging you to reconsider."

"There's nothing to reconsider Phoebs." I shook her off of me and continued to riffle through my closet.

"Seeking revenge on Arnold will not make you feel any better, no matter how right it may seem at the moment. _Please_ Helga!" she stood between me and the clothes in my closet, a pleading look in her eyes.

"I'm not getting revenge Phoebe. This is serving _justice_." I grasped her shoulders and moved her aside. "I appreciate the concern and all.. But I'll be fine."

"I'm more concerned about your intended target! Do you realize what you're about to do to him? Think about this for a second-"

"PHOEBE!" when I found the item of clothing I was searching for I grabbed the hanger and pulled it out to examine it. "Arnold's a big boy. If he can dish it out, he can take it. _Now…_" I held the jeans up. "Yay or nay?"

"I'm not helping you until you _promise _you wont make a fool out of yourself OR him tonight. Gerald kindly invited me to the frats new years party, and I don't want him to hate me for bringing you along."

I flicked my wrist at her dismissively and took the jeans off the hanger. "He won't hate you Phoebe. He wants in your pants too badly." I began working the jeans onto my legs, struggling with its constriction.

"You're going to wake up in the morning and realize this was a mistake and-" Phoebe paced around the room and continued to rant as I struggled with my jeans. I had them pulled up to my knees before tripping over my bed frame and falling to the floor with a loud thud. "- Gerald will be _furious_! Especially-" _goddamn skinny jeans from hell!_ I laid flat on the floor and inched the pants over my thighs and hips before finally buttoning them. "-Do you understand, Helga?" She stopped pacing, finally noticing me laying on the floor. "Why are you on the floor?"

"I'm exercising, doi." I stood up and brushed myself off. "God DAMN Phoebe!" my legs stiffened "How the hell do girls wear these things every day?…. Hmm.." I paused in front of the mirror to admire myself. "I hate to say it, but my ass is fantastic."

"Have you been listening to a word I've said?" her fists landed on her hips.

"Frankly, no." I grabbed a button up shirt and slipped it on "You aren't going to change my mind this time. Now lets go Phoebe!" I grabbed her wrist and my coat before dragging her towards the door.

"Why are you wearing jeans you can hardly walk in? What is that going to prove?" she held on to the door frame. Phoebe was _really_ testing my patience this evening.

"Arnold and I supposedly had sex, right? Well if Arnold wants a girl then that's what he's going to get.." I buttoned up my jacket and began walking down the hall without her. "_And everything that goes along with it._" I muttered lowly.

"Helga wait!" I heard my door shut followed by the sound of her frantic footsteps following behind me.

"Gonna give up the crusade yet Phoebs?"

"Giving up." she sighed.

When we got to the frat house I could hear the loud bass of the music thumping before we even stepped inside. We let ourselves inside and were greeted by several random people standing in the foyer. Luckily Louis wasn't standing guard at the doorway like I was expecting. The guys most likely knew I would try and show up, so I was anticipating their backlash at some point. "Here's the deal Phoebe." I shrugged off my jacket and hung it on the coat rack. "Find tall hair boy… he's just going to get in my way. I need you to keep him busy, got it?"

"This feels so-"

"_Got. It. PHOEBE_?" I hissed through clenched teeth

"Alright, alright… distract Gerald, understood."

"Godspeed Phoebs." I saluted her before slipping into the throng of people in the living room. I wasn't even five steps in before some random guy was catcalling at me. If it had been any other time I might have been slightly flattered. "Put a sock in it _bucko!_" As I was walking I realized I was still walking like 'me'…. tonight I wasn't me. Tonight I was a girly-girl. "_C'mon Helga old girl. Get in character._" I shook my shoulders to loosen myself up a little, flicking my hair over my shoulder. From then on I made a conscious effort to sway my hips from side to side as I walked and jutted my chest out proudly.

"_There you are.._" I spotted Arnold on the couch, taking sips from a Corona bottle and chatting it up with some pretty blonde. My fingers went to the top buttons of my shirt and undid the first three, revealing a tiny sliver of my black and pink polka dotted bra that Arnold had seen before. "_Showtime_." I fluffed my hair and adjusted my chest. I approached him from behind and gently placed my right hand over his eyes, he jumped slightly under my touch but didn't move. I pulled his head back and bent close to him. "_Hey sexy.._" my lips barely brushed against the shell of his ear. The girl sitting next to him stared at me indifferently, shrugging her shoulders. My left hand caressed his neck before traveling up and down his chest.

"Who is this?" he chuckled.

"_Come on baby… don't play games with me tonight. You know it drives me crazy._" I pulled his earlobe between my teeth and gave a soft nip. He gasped and shot up suddenly.

His eyes widened at the sight of me "HELGA? W-what the _heck_ are you doing?" his hand shot up to his ear, rubbing it furiously.

"Baby?" I came around the couch and immediately got into his personal space, pressing myself into him.

"What the?- '_baby_'?" he grabbed my shoulders and tried pulling me away. "Are you wasted?"

I swatted his hands off my shoulders before rounding on him again, wrapping my arms around his torso "Oh _Arnold!_" I burrowed my head into his neck and gasped dramatically "I've been waiting and WAITING! I couldn't stay away anymore. Why haven't you called me?"

"Excuse me?" he unhinged my linked arms. "What are you_ talking_ about Helga? Can we PLEASE talk about this somewhere else?" we had began forming an audience, which is exactly what I was aiming for. "You're obviously a little confused."

"CONFUSED?" I wailed. "I waited by my phone for hours on end for you to call me after…" I leaned in closer to him, trailing my fingers up his abdomen. "..that _night _we shared!"

"WHAT?"

"I can't believe you Arnold!" I circled around him a few times. "After everything we said to each other that night you're just going to pretend it never happened?"

"Helga!" he grabbed my arm and tried pulling me away. "_Please!_"

"You said you _loved _me Arnold! Was that just a ploy to get me into bed with you? Dammit you said I was the best you ever had! Was that a lie too? YOU CRIED AFTERWARDS!" Arnold stopped tugging on my arm, dropping it completely. He looked absolutely horrified. Everyone who was watching began laughing hysterically. His face turned a bright red but he made no move to leave.

"We need to talk. NOW." He pointed towards the stairs.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of Arnold." my fingertips played with the collar of his shirt. "You gave me the most magical 55 seconds of my life." the crowds laughter erupted into a full on roar.

To my surprise Arnold cupped the back of my neck and brought my ear near his mouth. "_What the HELL are you doing?_" his breath warmed the side of my neck.

I grabbed a handful of his shirt and tugged roughly. "_You 'fucked' me… now suffer the consequences football head._" we both leaned back out and our eyes met. I jokingly puckered my lips at him and wiggled my eyebrows. "You wanted a girl… you got her."

His eyebrows raised in surprise before falling into an angry V-shape. "If you get to act like a girl, the guess what?… I get to act like a guy."

"Wha-? HEY!" Arnold swooped down and grabbed me by my thighs, hoisting me on to his shoulder and carrying me towards the stairs. "PUT ME DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! ARNOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!" I kicked my legs wildly and pounded my fists into the small of his back. My calls went ignored by Arnold, he only held me tighter and searched for an open bedroom. When he found one he stormed inside and locked it before throwing me angrily on the bed.

"YOU!" he pointed an accusatory finger at me.

"Who? Little ol' me?" I leaned back on my elbows and watched him, feigning uninterest.

"Yes _you!_" he grabbed me by my ankle and tugged me until my legs were hanging off the bed and he was hovering over me. He grabbed my shoulders and sat me upright. "Have you lost your mind? What were you _thinking?_"

"Well Arnoldo.. I was thinking YOU DESERVED IT!" my fist connected with his chest, pushing him out of my personal space.

"What are you talking about? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Are you KIDDING me?" I shot up from the bed and grabbed him by the collar. "You sold me down the river to the likes of Rhonda Wellington Lloyd! Don't you play innocent with ME bucko!"

His brow furrowed "What does Rhonda have to do with us?"

I released him with an indignant scoff. "Are you _really_ this stupid? Why don't we just get it out in the open? Everyone thinks we slept together that night you stayed over at my dorm, and YOU didn't correct little miss princess! She cornered me at the diner and publicly OUTED me for an act I never committed!"

"Rhonda cornered you?" his eyes widened "Helga… I-"

"Just shut up Arnold! You're the reason this shit got out of hand! You're the reason I'm BANNED from poker night!" I shoved him harshly. "You guys stuck Louis with 'dump Helga' duty! How _dare_ you!" I backed him into the wall with another shove. "If you were going to cut me out of your life at _least _have the decency to do it face to face you son of a bitch!" in the midst of my ranting he simply stood there and took my blows, not bothering to fight back at all. "Say something god dammit!"

"It seems like you said everything _Helga_." his voice was pure ice. "I guess you figured everything out, huh?"

"It was pretty obvious." I turned on my heel and walked a few steps away.

"Do I get to defend myself at all? Or am I sentenced to death already?" I felt him standing directly behind me and I was getting more and more agitated. "I didn't tell Rhonda what really happened because I-"

"I don't CARE!" my elbow connected with his ribs and he stepped back, wheezing. "Do you realize how you made me feel Arnold? Like _shit!_ I never EVER thought you'd be the kind of guy to use sex as a tool to help you climb the social ladder."

"I DIDN'T!" he immediately got back into my personal space, placing his hands on my shoulders and walking me into the wall, pinning me. "I thought if I didn't give Rhonda something to talk about, she _wouldn't _talk about it! I literally said nothing about us! I told her it was none of her business and she left! I NEVER thought she'd publically call you out on it. I would never do that to you Helga… _ever_." his hand softly cupped my cheek. "I'm sorry…"

After the big production downstairs and my blazing convictions on the way over to the frat house, I felt my will slipping away. I was going to crack… I was going to let him get away with this. His beautiful eyes were looking into mine like an innocent puppy dog… I was a goner. My hand reached up and covered the hand that was currently residing on my cheek and I let out a small sigh and closed my eyes. "I'm done." I opened my eyes and removed his hands from me.

"What?"

"We were never meant to be friends… I was trying far too hard Arnold. Look where we ended up? I'm not going to do this anymore." I unlocked the door and started to open it.

"This is _just_ like you Helga! Go ahead and walk away so you'll never have to face anything!" I froze in the doorway and looked back at him. "You heard me Helga. Go ahead and run! Isn't that what we always end up doing isn't it? We get too close for your liking, or we fight and you get angry! You ALWAYS run! What are you so afraid of? I've done nothing but try and be your friend for the past 19 YEARS but you keep pushing me away and stringing me along." he sat down on the edge of the bed and shook his head. "Finish something you start for once Helga. Walk away and don't come back… I dare you to try."

"You're right." I sniffed back a few tears threatening to form in my eyes. I closed the door again and went back over to where Arnold was sitting and tugged his hair so his face was tilted back before leaning down and kissing him. His mouth stiffened in shock and he inhaled sharply. I released him roughly and backed away. "Goodbye Arnold."

* * *

><p>I didn't bother looking for Phoebe at the party… I didn't want to have to face her scrutiny just yet. After all, I only <em>just<em> made a scene. I didn't want to start another one with her. I just wanted to go back to my dorm room and die. My feet couldn't carry me fast enough away from that godforsaken frat house. I didn't want Arnold to try and confront me about my actions, I was _done_ with this. I can't pretend anymore. This little game I've created was a bad idea from the start. It just took me far too long to realize it. Who was I trying to fool more? Him or me?

When I got back to my dorm the first thing I did was remove those ungodly skinny jeans in exchange for some comfy pajama bottoms before crawling under my covers and weeping into my pillow. I felt like the biggest tool in the world. Everything I worked so hard to keep seemed so insignificant now. I truly believed I meant something to Arnold, Gerald and the frat. I lost everything in the span of a week without so much as a goodbye from any of them. I really _was_ a social leper…

Just as I was starting to fall asleep there was a soft knock on my door. I glanced at my clock; it was almost two in the morning and I was still waiting to hear from Phoebe. "Hang on a sec Phoebe" I crawled out of bed and sleepily opened the door. A five foot eight blonde boy stood where Phoebe was supposed to be. "Arnold? What-?" I was cut off by both his hands reaching up and pulling my mouth to his. I got lost in the moment when his arms snaked around my waist to pull me flush against him before I vaguely realized he was carrying me back inside my dorm room and slamming the door shut with his foot. The springs of my mattress popped underneath me when we landed in my bed. I couldn't quite fathom what on _earth_ was going on, but I couldn't find the strength to stop him from slipping his hand underneath my shirt. Everything was happening so fast. I didn't know up from down! All I knew was I wanted more. I was fumbling with the button of his jeans and furiously tugging them down at an embarrassingly quick rate before Arnold pulled away from me slightly to admire my body underneath his.

"_You're so beautiful_.." his eyes met mine before he kissed a trail down my stomach and coming back up to meet my already waiting mouth.

"I appreciate the sentiment Arnold.." I leaned forward and sunk my teeth into his right pec "But if you don't get naked for me in the next five seconds I'm going to rip an appendage off."

He took my hands in his and set them at the waist of his boxers. "_We wouldn't want that_" he grinned.

* * *

><p><strong>Oooohhhh kayyyy… The ending scene is very short, I know. Lol… but here's the thing; I had to do a MAJOR rewrite. It was full blown M-rated before. I couldn't force myself to keep it in the story! Lol… so I realize everything in the end kind of happens quickly, but I'll take its shortnesslack of details over my heart attack if you guys had read what I wrote BEFORE! (I'm no prude… I'm just shy) but anyhow this ISNT the end of the story in case you're curious. There's still more to come, I promise!**

**(as usual, if there's mistakes I'll go through and try and fix them all... its 3 am! Gimme a break!) haha**


	7. Walk the line

**Hey guys! I'm back! Haha.**

**I realize I have taken far too long to update this, and trust me I know it's no fun to wait! Things have been a little insane the past few months, so I'm truly sorry it's been so long! I appreciate your patience and I hope you enjoy the chapter =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

* * *

><p><strong>Helga's POV:<strong>

Is it possible for certain family members to carry on a curse? I've become _convinced_ the Pataki clan has a bad luck curse deep rooted to the beginning of our bloodline. Great grandpa Pataki spent several years of his life in search of striking oil in America and becoming rich. When great grandma Pataki got tired of him chasing his 'pipe dream', he gave up the search and joined a more modest profession as a railroad worker. Not even a week later he found out a lucky fellow struck oil in the _exact_ same spot he had been searching not even a month prior. As for _my_ grandpa, he dabbled in the stock market around the time of the Great Depression. He was invested in "General Motors (GM)", one of his friends said that pulling out of GM would be the safest option during such hard times, fearing their stocks would plummet again. After he traded in his stock the company began thriving again and leaving himself unable to buy back into it, thus continuing the "Pataki family curse". Now don't get me wrong, the curse isn't simply money-based. Take Big Bob for example. Robert Pataki had a perfect life. He married his sweetheart and had a beautiful daughter named Olga. As fate would have it, his wife Miriam accidentally got pregnant after a drunken anniversary night neither of them really remembered. Instead of becoming upset like Miriam was, Bob was actually ecstatic. If there was one thing Bob wanted in his perfect life, it was a son. This was his chance! He and his daughter Olga bought every piece of blue clothing inside of OshKosh B'gosh, and they decorated the nursery in pale baby blue paint with a football trim at the top. He was finally going to have someone to take to baseball and football games, teach how to shave someday, and most likely force into various peewee sporting events. But the family curse reared it's ugly head yet again… that fateful day in March Big Bob didn't get his son. According to my aunt, the doctor announced "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Pataki! It's a girl!", Bob glared down at the newborns naked form and screamed in agony. He stormed out of the room mumbling to himself '_that's the first and last disappointment we're ever having._'

My family didn't exchange my blue clothes for pink… Miriam was in a never ending postpartum depression and Big Bob didn't want to look at 'the _girl_'. So the duration of my first few years were spent in blue jumpers covered in sports memorabilia. For my third birthday it was _Olga_ of all people to acknowledge me. She knelt down in front of me and ruffled my hair like you would a dog and cooed '_here you go baby sister_!' and handed me a pristinely decorated pink package. I opened it to find a pink jumper, and a pink hair bow. Olga took the bow out of the box and arranged my hair in two pigtails before tying the bow on top of my head. '_you are just too precious!_' she pinched my cheeks and kissed my forehead. Olga may annoy the living hell out of me, but if it wasn't for her I would most likely still be in blue jumpers to this day…. And I would have never heard Arnold's sweet, angelic voice that rainy day many eons ago. But as far as the curse goes, I think I _was_ the curse. Big Bob never wanted another daughter, and Miriam never wanted a second child. My existence was an accident, a mistake… and as being a mistake, I was genetically cursed to continue making mistakes all through my life. _I'm a walking, talking, mistake_.

* * *

><p><em>'Helga….'<em>

_'You're amazing..'_

_'I want you..'_

_'Helga-'_

"Helga?" Phoebe's small hand came into my line of vision.

"Huh?" my hand twitched against the surface of the table. "W-what?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine… why?" I absentmindedly scraped my fork across my plate a few times.

"You've been poking at the eggs on your plate for about 15 minutes and staring at the wall." I threw my fork down as she set her elbows on the table and gave me a concerned look. "When you invited me for breakfast this morning I assumed you had something that you wanted to talk about… What happened after you disappeared last night? I couldn't reach you." I visibly tensed at her question, which I know she picked up on. "Helga?"

"I-… I honestly don't even know where to begin Phoebs." my eyes leered another direction.

"Well for starters I heard you went upstairs with Arnold, um… by _force_."

"Uh huh.." I droned.

"So what happened?" she motioned for me to continue, desperate for answers.

"Um…" my hand found its way back to my fork and began tapping it against the plate. "We kind of got into an argument. I called him out on everything he did."

"And what did he say?"

"Well…" I thought about it momentarily "I actually…. didn't let him say anything-"

"Oh Helga.." she sighed. "You didn't let him speak? What were you _thinking_?"

"I wasn't thinking Phoebs!" I groaned "I yelled and yelled at him. When I was about to leave he challenged me to walk out forever. He says there's no way I could ever do it. A-and I just kind of… _snapped._"

"What did you do Helga?" her expression grew more and more worried.

"I…. kissed him…. Like a kiss of death sort of thing! And then I just….. walked out."

"WHAT?" her hands slammed against the table. "You _kissed_ him? Oh my GOSH!" I sunk deeper into my seat and stared at the ceiling. Phoebe, who was quietly mumbling to herself in Japanese and shaking her head in disbelief noticed my lack of commentary on such life changing events. "Did anything else happen after that Helga?"

"Uh… well you see Phoebs…" I glanced around the diner in case there were onlookers.

"Helga!" she reached across the table and grabbed my hand, shaking it. "What happened?"

"UGH!" I threw my hand up in frustration. "He freakin' _followed _me back to my dorm last night Phoebe! FOLLOWED me!" I began going off into a full blown tangent "It was around two am, so I thought it was _you_ knocking randomly at my door. But NOOOOOO…. It was Arnold! I didn't even get two goddamn words out before he grabbed me and started _kissing_ me!" Phoebe released me from her grasp and slowly covered her mouth in shock. "The next thing I knew we were making out like two horny teenagers. There may have been some groping and some moaning, and at some point there was a bed involved and clothes were shed. Then there was some sweating and grinding and….." I took a deep breath. "God, DAMMIT PHOEBE! We ended up breaking my bed frame!" my heart was beating like crazy and my breath was coming out erratically. "I feel like I was ran over by a truck! I practically limped here this morning! I CAN'T WALK STRAIGHT! And _look!_-" I grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled it down to expose my right shoulder, which had a dark bruise that looked like a set of teeth. "And you wanna know the worst part Phoebs?" my demeanor changed to a more calm state. "…..I feel absolutely _empty_… completely void of all emotion. I want to curl up into a ball until I'm invisible. I'm an idiot, a fool…. All the above. You get the picture."

Phoebe uncovered her mouth and linked her fingers together under her chin, taking in everything I just blurted out. "So….. Arnold was… _rough _with you, um.…. during intimacy?"

"Oh for _fucks_ sake Phoebe! Out of all the information I just gave you that's what you got out of it?" I felt a small blush creep up on my cheeks. "It's not like how it sounds.. It wasn't violent. Just… _intense_." and glorious. But Phoebe didn't need to know THAT much.

"What happened after?" I could tell she had more questions beyond that, but she was keeping it simple.

"We woke up this morning and went our separate ways." I shrugged, indifferent.

"What?" her eyes widened. "Helga! You two need to discuss everything! _Especially_ now!"

"Phoebe… either way things are going to end badly. We slept together last night in this crazy heat of the moment scenario. I threw myself at him like a girly idiot whore and he reciprocated like a typical male. He didn't want _me_… he wanted the stupid girl from the party that gave him lip service! Things with the frat are already over, and I'm pretty sure Arnold is going to want this indiscretion to be forgotten by the time he's thought it over."

"But Helga, I-"

"Please Phoebe." I set my head on the table and groaned.

"Helga! Stop it this instant!" her voice raised a few decimals. I raised my head as I gaped at her in shock, Phoebe rarely ever raised her voice at _anyone_ let alone me. "You're a 21 year old woman! You had… _relations_ with someone whom you care about. You can't run away from what has occurred. And no matter how unpleasant that conversation may seem, you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't talk to him. Now quit acting like the hard headed 9 year old you once were and _do_ something instead of talk about it!" she crossed her arms in front of her, her face softening as she sat back in her chair. "I'm sorry for the outburst… but it had to be said."

We stared at each other for several moments before I broke down and lowered my head back down to the table, banging it repeatedly. After several seconds of hitting it against the table I laid there, pondering what she had said.

"You're right Phoebs.." I muttered. "I need to talk to him about _everything_… not just last night. I'm going to find him today and settle the score. And if by some miracle we don't hate each other by the time it's over… who knows." I shrugged.

"Just remember to keep your temper under control." she gave me her mothering stare. "You know you tend to overreact."

"I know, I know… I promise no tantrums." I slid out of the booth and threw the tip on the table. "C'mon… lets get you to the train station Phoebs."

Saying goodbye to Phoebe was hard. She kept telling me to call her whenever I needed it and to keep her updated on the situation. She repeatedly hugged me and told me to do the right thing, and that she knows everything will be alright in the end. I simply hugged her back and mumbled something along the lines of '_yeah yeah… I'll be fine_'. On the drive back to campus is when thoughts began swirling in my head about last night, and the insanity that occurred. I hadn't really taken the time to _think_ about what happened or the pretenses under which it happened. I actually _slept_ with him! I let my brain take a mental vacation. What the _hell_ was I thinking? I was furious at Arnold last night! Why did I let him in my _pants_ for cryin' out loud? Just because he made lustful googly eyes at me my brain turned to Jello? _GOD_ I'm an idiot! How could I ever make this situation better? Me and Arnold never stopped to think about the repercussions…. We just…. _did, _instead of asking questions. What ever happened to the days when we would high five? When did we graduate to humping? Weren't we just at odds over this very subject?…. Something has to be rectified _now_ before things got more awkward.

I don't know how long I stood in front of Arnold's dorm room, it could have been five minutes… it could have been forty five. I finally hesitantly raised my fist and knocked softly against the worn wooden door. As if on cue Eugene opened the door and bounced excitedly at my presence.

"Hey Eugene… uh…. Is Arnold around?" I rubbed my arm awkwardly, glancing all around the hallway.

"Why gosh Helga, he never came back last night! I haven't seen him. I figured he was probably at Gerald's. Have you tried there yet?"

"No.. I guess I'll have to check there next." I began backing away. "See ya around..." and just like that, I was out of options. If Arnold went to the frat house there was no way I could show my face there again. Was I really going to have to stalk his dorm room to see him? "_Crap_.." I muttered to myself as I limped my way back to my dorm. My legs were still _killing_ me from…. Contorting them the previous night. There were so many questions that remained unanswered. Namely _why_ we ended up in between the sheets last night instead of yelling at each other… and secondly, where the HELL did he learn all that from?

When I got back into my dorm I hobbled inside and plopped directly into my bed, forgetting the broken frame I heard an unpleasant _snap_ as I landed. Frankly I didn't care about the status of my cheap bed frame. A moment a realization hit me while I was staring at the ceiling, "_You're a dumb ass Pataki!" _I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed Arnold's number. After the first ring I heard an all too familiar ringtone playing in the corner of my room. "FUCK!" I groaned, getting up off the bed in search for his phone. I finally located it underneath my bra from the previous night. '_Helga_' with a cute little smiley face next to it flashed on the screen. I hung up the call and noticed he had about 4 missed calls and several text messages. "_Don't even think about it Helga old girl… its his business._" I set his phone on my desk. "_He'll be back for it…_" it was almost like I couldn't control my hand as it traced the edge of the phone, slowly finding the button that turned on the screen once again. It lit up, startling me somewhat. I unlocked it and held it in my palm, still contemplating what I was going to do… _If_ I was going to do anything.

As fate would have it, I didn't have to make that decision. There were two short knocks on my door before it opened. I dropped Arnold's phone back on to the desk, eyes wide at the blatant intrusion of my room. My grip on the back of my computer chair tightened at the sight of familiar spiky blonde locks peeked through the opening of the door. "Helga?" Arnold's head fully came into view. I felt my breath catch in the back of my throat. _God he's so gorgeous_. "Hey!" he came inside, still dressed in his clothes from last night, with two insulated coffee cups cradled against his chest. "I've been looking all over for you! Where'd you run off to this morning?" he casually closed the door behind himself and walked over towards me, extending one of the cups of coffee to me. "I had doughnuts too… but when I couldn't find you I ended up giving them to the homeless guys on third street." he chuckled.

I stared at the cup of coffee he was offering for several seconds before dumbly reaching out and taking it. "Thanks." I held the coffee under my nose for inspection before taking a sip. It was exactly how I liked it…. How the _hell_ did he know that? "So…. Where were _you_ this morning Arnoldo?"

"I told you when I was leaving this morning about signing up for my history class. It's first come first serve, and the sign ups started at 7:30 this morning. But after that I came looking for you with breakfast and you were already gone!" he set his coffee on the desk next to his phone. "Hey! That's where I left it! I thought I might have left it at Gerald's." I clutched tightly to the hot beverage in my hands as he brushed against me to grab his phone. "Gerald was looking for me last night." he didn't look up from me as he perused the contents of his phone. "Oh well." he set it back on the desk. He was standing dangerously close… our bodies just a few inches apart. Our eyes didn't leave each other's. I nearly passed out at the feeling of his hands pulling at my waist until we were flush against each other. When he began leaning in my eyes widened in shock. He glanced down at the cup still clutched in my hands, reaching between us to remove it and set it next to his. "That's better.." he grinned. Instead of leaning in again he pulled me even closer until my head was resting in the crook of his neck. I could feel him _nuzzling_ me with his cheek. A-and was he… _hugging_ me? Arnold must have sensed how tense I was. His hands slowly traveled up and down my back, _stroking_ me. Hip lips brushed against my neck before pressing against it softly a few times. "_You okay_?" he murmured. I felt myself nod weakly, it was almost like I wasn't in control of my actions whenever he was this close to me. He leaned back out until our eyes could meet.

"Arnold… I-" my sentence was cut short when his hand cupped my cheek and his thumb ran almost…. _lovingly_ across it. A mischievous grin spread across his face before he pulled my mouth to his, placing a quick peck on my lips before pulling away completely and plopping down on my mangled bed he helped me destroy. His left hand gestured for me to follow him. I pushed myself away from the desk and slowly limped over towards the bed. His look went from amused to completely horrified.

"Oh my god… Helga!" He pulled me down next to him on the bed. "Did I do this to you? Did I hurt you?" he began assessing the damage that was currently visible.

"Hey! What are you doing?-" I grunted in protest as he lifted hem of my shirt until it was showing my ribcage. I glanced down at myself the same time he did. I hadn't noticed the fingertip shaped bruises at my hipbones until now, or the splitting headache I had from banging my head repeatedly on the headboard. "I'm fine Arnold." I began pulling down my shirt to cover up the evidence, but his hand halted me. His other hand pushed my shoulder until I laid down flat on the mattress.

My heartbeat began picking up when his hand touched the skin of my ribcage and began traveling lower until it was at my hip. "I'm _so_ sorry I hurt you Helga.." he bent down low and kissed one of the bruises on my hip. "Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you?"

I had two options; enjoy his coddling, or tell him to stop this nonsense. I don't like being treated like I'm some daffodil. "It didn't hurt at the time football head. It's fine." I stared blankly at the ceiling. My breath hitched when his lips began traveling upwards towards my ribcage. "Why are you doing this?" I grabbed his hair, halting him.

"I feel kind of guilty… I'm usually not like that." he blushed. "I've never hurt anyone before. I'm not….. _That_….. kind of guy."

"I told you I'm fine!" I pushed him off of me and sat up, pulling my shirt back down. "Now shut up and stand up football head." I pointed to the spot in front of me. He stared at me awkwardly several seconds before complying.

"But, why?-"

"Just shut up Arnold!" I tugged him by his belt loops until his waist was directly in front of my face. I glanced up to meet his curious expression. Without hesitation I stuck my hands underneath the bottom of his shirt and slowly began exposing some of his skin.

"What are you doing?" his eyes followed me as I stood up.

"Arms up football head." without question he lifted his arms over his head as my hands lifted the shirt off. Arnold wasn't buff, nor was he fat or extremely skinny. But the sight of him shirtless would be the death of me. "Turn around." again he followed directions without question. Not to my surprise, my memory served me right. At some point last night I left several long scratch marks down Arnold's back, and he had several bruises forming on his shoulders and arms. I ran my fingertips along his naked skin until I came along a scratch. He hissed upon contact. "You didn't do anything worse than I did last night football head. So quit it with your worrying. C'est la vie." I picked his shirt back up off the bed and tossed it at him. "Thanks for the coffee, you can go if you want." I stood in front of my mirror and glared angrily at my reflection. I was irritated with myself, _and_ this situation I managed to put myself in.

He quickly slipped his shirt back over his head and stared at me "Why do you want me to leave?" I merely shrugged in response. "Helga.." he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, laying his chin on my shoulder. "Last night was…. _intense_, I know… and it may have been kinda…. spur of the moment.." he nuzzled the side of my face again until his lips were by my ear "_But I don't regret it… at all_." The whole time Arnold stood behind me I couldn't stop staring at our reflection in the mirror… we looked so…. _right._ But it felt so wrong. Like something was _horrifyingly_ wrong. When his arms held me even closer against him I stopped looking at our reflections.

"Do you mean that?" I looked over my shoulder at him

"I really do Helga..." he tilted his head and caught my upper lip between his, kissing me softly. To my surprise my right hand shot up and held his head in place, terrified he would pull away from me. I could feel him smiling against my lips as my hand treaded through his hair and tugged lightly. After several moments I finally allowed him to pull away. "I prefer this to the butt kicking I get in beer pong." he chuckled and turned me to face him, wrapping his arms around my waist before kissing me again. There was no question in my mind if I enjoyed kissing Arnold or not, it was…. _perfection_. But the only thing I could focus on was how genuinely _irritated_ I was by this situation. He was finally giving me attention beyond a slap on the back or a nudge on the shoulder. For Pete's sake he was currently cupping my ASS and _moaning _into my mouth. But there was a creeping reminder in the back of my mind that I was supposed to be having a conversation with Arnold right now and not using our lips for x-rated purposes. Was this all we had going for us? Intimacy? Lust? A freakin' penis and vagina?

"ugh…" I pulled my mouth away from his "_Crimeny_.." I glanced down at my left hand which was currently halfway down his _pants_. "Sorry…" I tugged it out of the 'no no zone'.

"What's wrong?" he slid his hand out from underneath my shirt and took a small step back, but not completely exiting my personal space.

"What are we doing here.. Honestly? Who are we trying to kid? Whatever is going on right now between us is obviously still heat of the moment. There's a lot of stuff we still need to talk about." I readjusted my shirt and hair and took another step away from him. "We're letting our hormones control the situation."

"I understand how you're feeling right now Helga. All of this has happened so quickly. But…. if you need us to take this new… _thing_ we have slowly I'm okay with that. Whatever you want to do I'm on board. We can figure this all out, together." he took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "I don't want to do anything to make you unhappy. You're one of my best friends."

In my mind I was screaming at him, cursing and slapping him. He still wanted this? Or was he wanting a pretty little flower he can parade around? But what about the frat? What about my reputation he helped soil?…. Was I supposed to just forget about these things and let him paw at me like an animal? Was I strong enough to push away the one person I spent nearly twenty years worshiping?

Could I really tell _Arnold_ no?

* * *

><p><em><strong>** Two Weeks Later**<strong>_

Irritation. Pure and utter irritation. That was the only emotion registering in my mind. When I was nine I thought a loving and doting boy toy was existential to having a relationship. He'd follow me around like a puppy and obey my every command without question and would worship the ground I walked on. It would be perfection!

I was freakin wrong..

Not only was Arnold the perfect definition of a little man-slave, he was an _annoying_ one. Everywhere I turned, there he was… in my face. All this week since school started again he's been at my side, in his words: '_bonding_'. Under normal circumstances I would have _died_ at the prospect of getting attention from Arnold like this. He held my bag for me as he walked me to class every day, he left little lovey-dovey notes on my door, bought me food at the slightest growl of my stomach, and held my hand in front of _everyone_ after everything that happened. The only problems with this little scenario were that the frat was never mentioned again by either of us, nor did I ever _see_ the guys. If Arnold saw them I didn't know about it. And the other issue..… was me. The more Arnold paid attention to me, the angrier I was becoming. I was starting to genuinely _hate_ him… and it was scaring me.

Today was no different than any other day since our unadulterated boink fest on new years. He showed up at my dorm room this morning with a big cheesy grin on his face and a bag of sugary breakfast goodies for me to consume before I became 'cranky'. He fussed over me in between classes and fed me lunch. All in all it was the normal new routine, _until_ I tried ditching him that evening to read for my American Lit class. He insisted we should hang out in my dorm for the evening. Either way I knew I wasn't going to get rid of him with a simple no, so now I was stuck with Arnold _pretending_ to study, while in reality we sat on my bed and watched a movie on my cheap 20 inch TV.

Upon Arnold's insistence I was reclining between his legs and leaning against his chest with my arms crossed defiantly in front of me, thwarting his cuddling efforts. We were halfway through 'Hook' when Arnold turned his attention back on me. "Hey Helga?" he finally pushed my arms out of their interlocked position and fully wrapped his arms around me. "I wanted to talk about something."

"If it's about the cherry bomb in your backpack yesterday I know nothing.." I grabbed a handful of popcorn and shoved it in my mouth.

He set his chin on my shoulder and shook his head "I already know _you_ did that." he chuckled.

"Then I see we have nothing _else_ to discuss." I huffed bitterly despite myself. I had kept most of my rage I felt towards him bottled, but I was finding myself slipping more.

"Okay.." he paused, obviously pondering my exact meaning. "If you don't want to talk…" he trailed off suggestively, reaching his hand in front of us and slowly running his fingers down the length of my thigh. "_we don't have to_.." his hand paused when it reached the top of my jeans and I tensed. His other hand finally made an appearance, brushing my hair to the side so he could kiss my neck.

Ever since new years we hadn't… done _that_ again. Everything that happened seemed so wrong and I was still trying to figure out his angle in all this. I didn't want to go there again… "Arnold." I grabbed his wrist. "Stop."

He pulled his head out of the crook of my neck and removed his hand from my hip. When I glanced over my shoulder at him he flinched. "_Sorry_.."

"Whatever.." I pulled myself off of him and plopped down on my stomach on the other end of the bed. "Was _that_ what you wanted to talk about? Crimeny football head."

"No!" he gasped. "I'm sorry Helga.. I wasn't trying to insinuate that at all. I just got-"

"Caught up in the heat of the moment." my eyes rolled indignantly. We know all about that one by now.

"Come on Helga, don't be angry. I was just being dumb and I'm sorry about that. I'm still trying to figure out this whole boundary thing between us." he crawled up next to me, biting his lip. "Which is why I've been debating asking you something." My eyes widened immensely. He wasn't actually going to… _ask_… THE question? Under these circumstances? What, did he_ enjoy_ snuggling up to a frigid iceberg who is _obviously_ bent out of shape about something? Crimeny! "I was wondering… if maybe… you wanted to come with me to my Grandpa's birthday party this weekend." he cleared his throat. "As my guest, I mean." We both stared at each other for several moments in silence, mainly because I was flabbergasted. What even possessed me to _think_ he'd be asking me to be his girlfriend after only two weeks of… whatever we were doing. He couldn't even ask me to be his _date_… just his "guest"…

"Fine." I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. "But I'm only going because the people you used to live with are bat-ass crazy. I could use the entertainment and free cake."

"This is awesome, I thought you were going to say no!" he wrapped his arms around me before I could object and plastered kisses all over my face like an overly happy mutt.

"Okay, okay! Down Fido... Sheesh!" when he rolled off of me I wiped the back of my hand over my face a few times.

"You like it." he teased.

"Oh _yeah_ football head, I love it when you get your drool all over my face." I quipped, glaring at him from the corner of my eye.

"Oh yeah?" an all too familiar cheesy half lidded gaze met mine. I yelped when he pounced on me, pinning my arms above my head and straddling my waist. "I aim to please."

"NO! Arn-" with ninja-like precision and speed he brought his mouth down to mine, surprising me. "MMM-" I growled against his lips, moving my head away from his. "You sneaky little….. Ugh! That's it!" while he was off guard I pulled my wrists from his grasp and grabbed his shoulders, pushing him off of me. "You're gonna get the pounding of a lifetime bucko!" to my surprise he dodged my tackle and pulled me down with him and suddenly we were both wrestling back and forth, not harming each other beyond a push or shove. At some point we fell off my bed and started rolling around the floor in the midst of all the mess. "OUCH!" I groaned after my elbow came in contact with the hardwood floor after a particularly vicious toss by Arnold.

"You okay?" He panted, loosening his hold and settling himself half on top of me.

"Are you always so rough? Crimeny football head. I pegged you for the gentle type."

He examined my elbow to make sure there was no actual damage before placing a kiss on it. "And I pegged _you_ for the rough type.." he placed another kiss on the back of my hand.

"Is that why you wrestle me like I'm a 250 pound MMA fighter?" I glanced down at our hands and saw they were linked together. In the back of my mind I realized we were doing it again…. Getting caught up in all of this crap. Letting hormones win…. But I felt myself going along with it. I was putty in his hands. Honestly? His persistence was kind of hot… despite how much I hated it.

"Why do I get the feeling the almighty Helga 'Badass' Pataki is a total and complete softie?" he grinned. "I think it's kind of sweet."

"Whatever…" I muttered.

"Despite what you've seen, I'm not generally a rough person Helga." our eyes stayed locked on each other as his hand ghosted over my stomach until he reached the hem of my shirt, slipping his hand inside. It was almost electrifying the way his skin felt against mine, his fingers resting at my waist, making me shiver.

"_Then show me…_" I pulled myself into his lap and sat him upright on the floor before grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and pulling it off of him. He didn't say a word, nor did he attempt to take any items of clothing off of me. He simply sat in silence, waiting for me to say what I wanted. I wordlessly held my arms above my head and smirked at him, a few seconds passed before I felt his hands land at my waist and tug the shirt over my head. I ran my hands over his chest, arms, shoulders, and stomach before grabbing both of his hands in mine and gently placing them on my chest and letting go of him. Without any further instruction he leaned forward and gently captured my lips with his. Unlike our first time there was no rushing frantically. There was a sense of urgency, but it was so much more calmer than before.

But that stupid voice in the back of my mind kept popping up to remind me that I was supposed to be angry with Arnold. I was supposed to be yelling at him and demanding answers. But how could I question anything when I was falling even harder for him than I ever did before? But the real question was….

Was he falling for me too?…. Or was he the one wearing a mask?

* * *

><p><strong>Oy! I'm a bad person for not updating, I know! It's been a flurry of insanity lately and I haven't had time to sit down and compose my thoughts for this little ditty. But no worries, I know <strong>_**exactly**_** what I want to happen! So it WILL be completed eventually. Don't lose faith in me! Haha.**

**And I don't know if I mentioned this before, but if any of you have a twitter feel free to find me on there! (My username is LizMars89!) While I'm writing a new chapter I often post little teasers (not anything TOO revealing in case you don't want spoilers) =P **

**Once again, I'm SO sorry this update was so darn late. And as usual, if there's mistakes I'll try and go through and fix them later ;)**

**ALSO: the next chapter is already in the works... it'll be called "Break your little heart" (ooooooh!)**


	8. Break your little heart

**Good news everyone! I finally got a new laptop. It was a lengthy process to write before mainly because I had to use three different computers JUST to get it up on the net. So now hopefully updates can come MUCH quicker! Thank you ALL for sticking with me so far ;) Your reward is a 12,000 word chapter.. WOOT!**

**Anyway, who's ready for old flames, black eyes, birthday cake, broken hearts and all around general mayhem? This chapter will be the one that FINALLY begins to explain all the confusion and miscommunication between our favorite duo. Prepare to ponder no longer! Also prepare yourselves for one livid Helga G. Pataki!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

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><p><strong>Helga's POV:<strong>

"You know Helga… when you asked me to meet up with you before the party this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." Arnold grumbled.

"Do my ears deceive me football head? Are you actually _pouting_?"

"No... I just figured you wanted my company for other reasons. _This_-" he gestured to the grocery cart he was currently pushing "isn't exactly what I was agreeing to."

"Hey, it's not my fault you agreed to be my pack mule! You could have gone back to do that Zumba class with Eugene."

"Helga! I told you I only did that ONCE! And you swore you'd never tell a soul." a faint blush crept onto his cheeks.

"Exactly. So does _this _seem so terrible now?" I linked my arm with his, resting my head on his shoulder as we walked down one of the isles in the store.

"I suppose not." he grinned.

At that, I released his arm and pointed at the stacks of soda on the shelves. "Hop to it Arnoldo, my mini fridge aint gonna stock itself!"

"_Maybe it isn't too late for Zumba after all_." he stared off into the distance and tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"Sure, you _could_ go do an aerobic dance routine with your accident prone roommate.… but it wouldn't be much fun without your spleen." I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me before giving him a short kiss, leaving us nose to nose. "_Save yourself the trouble_." Without another word he put several 12 packs of soda into the cart.

Truth be told I didn't _need_ Arnold's help with my grocery shopping. I always took care of myself before, carrying heavy boxes and bags up the stairs to my dorm was something I had done hundreds of times. I was far too proud to admit to him that I simply wanted to spend time with him. A week ago his presence was annoying me, but now I knew he genuinely liked being around me and it wasn't simply a gesture to get in my pants. So now _I _was the one wanting to 'bond' in any way possible.

Something had changed between us recently, even beyond the boundaries of intimacy. Our dynamic had started bordering on the edge of boyfriend-girlfriend territory. The situation wasn't ideal, but I couldn't stop myself from enjoying this development. Arnold basically did anything I asked of him, no matter how ludicrous. I had dreamt of this moment for pretty much my entire life. I had Arnold's full attention. Who was I to rock the boat?

"You have no idea how much I'm enjoying this." I sedately followed behind Arnold, watching him struggle with several boxes of soda as we ascended the stairs to my dorm room.

"_Helga?_ _Shut… up._" As he was nearing the top of the stairs I rushed ahead of him, 'accidentally' striking him with the plastic bags in my hand. "You're gonna pay for that one." he mumbled behind the wall of sodas currently blocking his mouth.

"Oh shut your yap football head! It's not that bad." I unlocked my door and held it open for him. "Put them on top of the fridge."

He set them down with a dissatisfied grunt. "I'm going to have a sore back tomorrow." he laid down on my bed and sighed into my pillow.

"Men are such babies-" before I could blink one of my pillows collided with my face. "I rest my case."

Arnold rolled his eyes at me and sat up on his elbows and began focusing on something across the room. "Is that…. A present?"

I glanced at the bright colored package across the room "It _is_ a birthday party you invited me to, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd get Grandpa anything. That's actually really… sweet." he gave me and all too knowing half lidded gaze. "What is it?"

"Just a little something I figured he'd like. It's not a big deal."

"You and your secrecy" he sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" my brow furrowed.

Arnold sat up completely to look at me, eyebrow raised. "I'm just saying you're very reserved. That's all."

"So you're saying _you_ never keep anything to yourself?"

That question seemed to intrigue him. He spent several moments contemplating his answer. "I guess I do sometimes."

"Then shut your freakin' mouth!" I hissed.

"Are we seriously starting an argument over this Helga? C'mon…" he gestured me over to him with his index finger. I reluctantly stepped closer to him to be met by his hands guiding me into his lap. "I don't like arguing." he kissed my shoulder. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to imply anything negative about you."

"Arnold… Just know the things I keep to myself are usually best left unsaid. We'll leave it at that alright?"

"Whatever you say Helga." he shook his head in amusement. "So I guess we should head over to the boarding house? They're probably all standing by the window waiting for me."

"Speaking of your wacky extended family-" I got up off his lap, pulling him up with me "I say we get them liquored up and make this a _real_ birthday party!"

"Are you batty?" he chuckled. "There's no way on earth I'm bringing liquor to my grandpa's birthday party."

"Hey, it was just a suggestion!" my hands raised defensively. "I thought we might need something to take the edge off, given your family has more nuts than a bag of trail mix."

"Don't over think this so much Helga. Everything will go great! We're going to have dinner and eat some cake. What could possibly go wrong?"

_Famous last words Arnoldo._

* * *

><p>I loved this feeling. I felt warm, safe, comfortable… all the things nobody but Arnold could make me feel. He held tightly on to my hand as we walked up to the stoop of his family's boarding house. The simple gesture was so mundane in the eyes of others, but to me it was like a symbol. It genuinely felt like we were together, fused at the hands. Like <em>nothing<em> could break our bond-

"Shortman!" Arnold's grandpa opened the front door and came rushing outside to greet him.

"Hey grandpa! Happy birthday!" my hand suddenly felt cold at my side, and when I looked down I realized Arnold had dropped it as soon as his grandpa came out.

"Ah, thanks Shortman. Now come here and let me get a look at my favorite grandson!" he grabbed him by his shoulders before giving him a once over. "Either you're getting taller or my bones are finally disintegrating!" he pulled him into a friendly headlock, mussing Arnold's hair for a few seconds

"Grandpaaaa!" he groaned, fixing his frazzled locks. "I haven't gotten any taller since Christmas… a few _weeks_ ago!"

"Really? A few weeks ago? I could have sworn it was a few months ago. Ah, my withered old mind is finally getting the better of me Arnold. Pretty soon you'll have to put me in a home and have me diapered and-" he suddenly met my gaze "-oh ho ho, well who do we have here?"

"Remember Helga, Grandpa?" Arnold's gaze traveled back and forth between me and his grandfather, obviously terrified of what his off the wall grandpa could possibly retort with.

"The little girl with the pink bow and one eyebrow? Well I'll be a monkey's uncle! I haven't seen you in quite a while. What brings you back to these parts?"

"Well Phil, I-"

Arnold held his hand up near my face, shushing me. "-I um… invited her as my guest. I hope that's alright?" Nobody in their right mind _shushes_ Helga G. Pataki unless they want to die a painful death involving a garden hose and rusty spikes.

I could tell his grandpa was pondering something, most likely why Arnold would bring a _girl_ to his birthday party. But eventually his skepticism subsided before a big grin broke on to his face "Of course! The more the merrier." he held open the door and gestured for us to go inside.

Before we could even get a few steps inside Arnold's grandma was in the wings waiting to greet us. "Happy Kwanzaa everyone!"

Me and Arnold both exchanged confused glances. "Grandma… it's not _Kwanzaa_…. And.. Uh… we don't even celebrate that. It's grandpa's birthday today, remember?"

His grandmother paid no attention to Arnold's declaration that it wasn't Kwanzaa, instead she jumped in front of me animatedly and took my hands in hers. "Eleanor Roosevelt! Have you come for high tea?"

"I-"

"Excuse me! Pardon me! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" a man with a heavy Czechoslovakian accent who vaguely smelled like ham and cigars clipped my shoulder as he ran past me.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU KOKOSHKA!" less than a few seconds later a small stout man pushed between me and Arnold. In the midst of all the commotion his grandma took off towards the kitchen skipping and cackling something about preparing the 'mighty beast'…

"What in the name of Helen Saint Troy is going on in this madhouse?" Arnold's grandpa stood next to him with his hands on his hips. "Who's bellowing this time and why?"

"My educated guess would be Oskar hid Ernie's wooden mallet again." Arnold sighed. "Do you want me to take care of it Grandpa?"

"No no, I will." he opened the closet door before producing a wooden baseball bat. "You and your little friend can go wait in the living room while I break up the moron convention in the kitchen." Arnold simply nodded and grabbed my arm, dragging me into the other room. From a distance I could hear more shouting mixed with his grandma singing songs in Swahili that could totally fit in with _The Lion King_.

"And to think we could have been drunk by now." I sneered. "What's with the 180 football head? You practically muzzled me at the door!"

He plopped down on the couch and set his face in his hands, sighing deeply and rubbing his eyes. "Sorry about that." his head lifted to look at me. "Grandpa is well known for saying some outlandish things. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable right off the bat."

"Ah, no worries Arnoldo." I sat down next to him and put my feet on the coffee table. "We're working up to the _really_ embarrassing stuff. I'm hoping to see some of your baby pictures or hear some horrendous emotionally scarring stories!"

"Don't make me hog tie you." he leaned over and set his forehead against mine.

I smirked and leaned in too, rubbing our noses together, mimicking all those stupid Eskimo kisses I always saw Gerald and Phoebe doing in high school. When _they_ did it, it seemed so idiotic. Now I can sort of see the appeal… no matter how stupid others see it as.

"_It's quiet_.." he placed his hand over mine, rubbing it with his thumb and sighing. "Wait." my head fell forward slightly when he pulled away completely "It's quiet." He repeated more harshly. The look on his face was bordering on confused and surprised which in turn made _me_ feel confused.

"Yeah? And?" I glared at him, hoping he'd get the message that I wasn't done…. Doing whatever it was we were just doing. With that, he practically flew to the other end of the couch, crossing his legs casually and laying his arms across his chest.

"Arnold? What the heck is going o-"

"What do you _mean_ we have to behave? It's not like she's _my_ girlfr- OUCH! You hit me! I'm going to sue you!" the guy with the Czechoslovakian accent began moaning from the other room.

"SHUT UP OSKAR!" several male voices yelled at once.

Seconds later Arnold's grandpa, Oskar, the short guy and the other familiar face I remembered from my childhood, Mr. Hyunh came walking into the living room. All four of them looked at me and Arnold like we were primates at the zoo.

"What's up?" I offered lamely.

"So _you're_ the girl?" Oskar eyed me carefully before taking a bite out of the pickle he had procured during his scuffle in the kitchen.

"Don't mind Oskar." Arnold's grandpa sat down in between me and Arnold on the couch. "He's nothing but a bloated bag of foreign idiot."

"Who are you calling bloated grandpa? You're practically a skeleton!" he huffed.

"Would ya STOP calling me _grandpa?_"

"Oh geez Louise. I'm outta here! Let me know when dinners ready." the smaller man headed up the stairs without another word.

Mr. Hyunh sat down in the chair across from me and smiled warmly. "Hello! It's very nice to see you again."

_Oh crap._

"Again?" Arnold raised his eyebrow at me.

"I've seen him before Arnold." I waved my hand dismissively towards him. "It's nice seeing you too Mr. Hyunh." I silently prayed Mr. Hyunh wouldn't say anything else about our previous encounters within the boarding house.

As if on cue a blonde haired woman came down the stairs and immediately began scolding Oskar about eating before dinner, it took her several moments to realize there was someone new in the room. "Oh my, where are my manners?" she pushed past Oskar, who took the opportunity away from her scolding to go back upstairs. "My name is Susie Kokoshka. I'm Oskar's wife."

"Helga." we shook hands.

"Now that we've all been introduced properly… minus Ernie." his grandpa muttered. "Maybe _now_ I can open presents?" a wicked, childlike grin appeared on his face.

"Of course grandpa." Arnold angled himself towards the kitchen and called out for his grandmother to join them. A few seconds later she appeared and sat down on the arm of the couch with a box in her hands.

_I knew she wasn't THAT crazy._

"Aww Pookie! What'd ya get me?" he tore open the wrapping paper and opened the box. "What the-" he pulled out a watermelon. "Oh Pookie…" both him and Arnold did a collective facepalm in the midst of his grandmothers mischievous cackling.

Mr. Hyunh offered his gift next, which was a framed photograph of all their 'family' this past Christmas. It almost made me jealous I didn't have a family that actually sat together to pose for a picture without a smoothie in hand or fists raised. Susie had an… interesting gift to say the least. It was a bus ticket…. For Oskar. Susie was planning on taking him to see her family a few towns over for about a month, which meant Oskar wouldn't be around. I don't think anyone could have been happier than him after receiving such a strange, yet thoughtful gift. Arnold got his grandpa some type of really cool fishing pole with a bunch of fancy doodads on it, he's hoping the could go fishing over the summer since Arnold has been…. Busy, to say the least. He wants to make time for the people he loves-

"What about your gift, Helga?" Arnold stared at me expectantly.

"You got me a gift?" His grandpa's grin got even bigger. "Well aren't you a sweetheart!"

"Yeah… um…" I dug around in my bag a few seconds before producing a small box. "It's not much… but I hope you like it Phil." I smiled weakly.

With speed unknown to man, he ripped the package open. Arnold huddled close, especially interested in the contents of the package. "Well slap my grandma and call me Skippy!"

"Oh my god." Arnold's face went pale.

"This is the best gift EVER!" he pulled a brand new gold locket out of the box, complete with Arnold's picture in it. "I could kiss you!"

"Oh no, that's not- OOF" He tossed his arms around my shoulders before pulling my cheek to his wrinkled lips.

"Oh my god." Arnold repeated, and I couldn't help but smile evilly in response.

"I had a locket similar to this a while back, but I'll be darned if I lost it! This is perfect though! I'll always have my little Arnold here close to my heart." he clasped the chain around his neck, displaying it proudly.

"Oh my _god._" Arnold fell back against the couch. "Grandpa, wouldn't you rather have a picture of _GRANDMA_?"

"Why the heck would I want that?"

"I think it's sweet." Susie got closer to examine the locket. "That's such a thoughtful gift Helga."

"Thank you…. And I'm glad you like it Phil."

"You're a good kid." he playfully jabbed my chin. "Now Arnold, why don't you stop your hootin' and hollering and take your little friend upstairs until dinner is ready? I'm sure there's more for you to do up there."

_He has no idea what damage we could do with JUST a bed… or couch….. Or any surface really._

Like a flash of lightning, he stood up and grabbed my arm yet again and dragged me out of the room and up the stairs. When we finally got to the confines of his bedroom he released me and we both stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"So… Wild party Arnoldo."

A look of adoration suddenly adorned his face, which caught me off guard. "That locket he was talking about… the one I hated so much as a kid… it was yours. Wasn't it?" my eyes widened to an inhuman size, and I'm pretty sure I died for a second. "I remember what happened when we were kids you know." he chuckled

"I… don't even know what to say."

"It was an awkward prepubescent crush. I get it." whatever small amount of joy I felt just now had been squashed like a bug. "Thank you for what you did for him down there. He talked about that locket every day for months after it went missing."

"No biggie." I shrugged, still trying to process how much his small brain actually knew about my childhood feelings. Did he _not_ remember my psychotic profession of love on top of a skyscraper? Was that his definition of a '_prepubescent crush_'?

"Really," he grabbed me around my waist "that was sweet."

"Oh yeah Arnoldo, I'm a real sugar queen." I scoffed, pushing him away from me. "So what's there to do up here?" he began opening his mouth to speak "-And if you say Parcheesi I'm going to kill you." he shut his mouth.

"We could always…. Talk?…. Hang out?" he motioned to his bed. "If you want to."

"Fine by me Arnoldo." I crossed the room and sat down cautiously at the edge of the bed. "So how many girls have you boned in this bed?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

His eyes widened immensely "Well… none." he sat down next to me.

"Seriously? You never did the nasty up here?"

"This is a very odd direction you're taking this." he grimaced. "What's with the interest all of the sudden?"

"I'm not _interested_ football head! I'm just trying to make conversation. Crimeny.."

"Excuse me if I'm way off base here, but…. Are you subtly trying to ask me how many girls I've been with… sexually?"

I could either lie… or be straight with him. "Yes." I blushed

"You must have been wondering beforehand." he laughed. When he noticed I didn't laugh with him he got serious again. "Don't laugh…. but…. You and Trixie are the only girls I've been with. It's not because I _couldn't_ be with other girls… I just…"

"Want to when it seems right." I supplied.

"Something like that." he laid down against the mattress.

"Aren't you going to ask me?"

"Do you _want_ me to ask?" he countered.

"Are we going to speak in question form for the rest of this conversation?" I began getting irritated.

"Depends. Are you going to keep asking me odd questions?" a small grin appeared at the corners of his mouth.

"You're a brat."

"And that wasn't a question." he chuckled.

Without another word I tackled him on the bed, tickling him along with an occasional nip. It went on for several minutes until both of us were becoming breathless. I don't know what in the world possessed me, but I couldn't stop myself from pulling away from his playful tickling and giving him a somewhat hard stare. He in turn looked at me like I had grown three heads. "You all broke the pact. Senior year." it wasn't a question… it was a blatant statement. One that I had _never_ intended on saying out loud…. What the heck was wrong with me?

He stared at me blankly before remembering what exactly I was talking about. "You disappeared that night. Gerald said he saw you go off with someone, so… I guess everyone went off and did their own thing."

"Went off with someone?" my brow furrowed.

"What made you think of this anyway?"

My combative nature wanted to kick in and start yelling, but I couldn't find the will to actually act on the impulse. "I don't know Arnold… its just one of those things I think about sometimes. That's all." I rolled over on my side to stare at the wall. "_I didn't even dance at my senior prom_…" I muttered.

"Helga…" he rubbed my shoulder.

"_Nobody gets left behind_." I repeated our stupid mantra in vain, trying desperately not to cry like a wuss over something so idiotic.

Though I wasn't looking at Arnold, I could feel him get up off the bed. A few moments later some type of slow jazz music began playing over the speaker system. His hands grabbed my arm and softly pulled me up off the bed. "Come on.." he coaxed. "It may not be our senior prom, and I'm no dream date… but hey. You gotta improvise sometimes, right?" A stupid idiotic grin spread across my face when he took my hand in his and pulled me closer to rest his hand at my waist. My free hand slowly crept up his arm and settled at his shoulder.

"This is by far the cheesiest thing I've ever done." I buried my head into his shoulder as we moved along with the slow music for a while.

"You're a good dancer." he twirled me once before pulling me back in. His grip on my waist was shaky as he nuzzled his cheek against my head, whispering "…._I missed out that night_."

I pulled my head out of the nook of his shoulder to look at him. Neither one of us realized we had stopped moving to the music. "Don't say things you don't mean, Arnold."

"But I did mean it." he pulled me tighter against him.

"Arnold…" I trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. Getting into this conversation would most likely end badly for both of us. How was I supposed to have a serious conversation with him when he was giving me those lustful googly eyes? And just like that, we were kissing again. He made the first move, saving me the trouble of making a decision. Whether it was sexual tension or our complete lack of social capabilities, we always seemed to end up like this whenever things got serious. Tongues began clashing and hands were roaming under articles of clothing, and his bed was suddenly underneath me and everything was starting to become a blur as his hand trailed over my jean clad thigh..

"Hey guys, Phil sent me up to- OH!"

I released Arnold's mouth as both of us turned to look at his bedroom door. "SUSIE!" Arnold shouted, suddenly toppling off of me and landing on the floor with a loud thud.

"I'm so sorry! I was just coming up to tell you dinner is ready… I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You weren't interrupting!" Arnold frantically began fixing his hair and adjusting his rumpled clothing. "R-right Helga?"

"Right.." I rolled my eyes.

Susie repeated her apologies before leaving the room, clearly embarrassed. I didn't think much of the incident, but Arnold on the other hand seemed absolutely frazzled. His pupils were dilated and fixated on his door, almost like he was expecting someone to come inside at any moment and hack him to pieces. What the heck was the big deal? It's not like we were naked and huffing and puffing.

"Come on football head." I walked over to his door, but he still made no move to follow along. "HELLO? I'm hungry Arnold! Lets _go_!" I clapped loudly, which finally broke whatever trance he had been in. "Lay of the psychedelic drugs would ya? Susie is a cool chick. I doubt she went downstairs and announced what just happened."

A look of relief washed over him "You're right Helga." He joined me in the doorway, slinging his arm over my shoulders before planting a kiss on my temple. "Let's go eat."

Dinner was seemingly going well as far as Arnold's family was concerned. I sat between Arnold and Mr. Hyunh, staring down at my plate of….. Whatever _it_ was. It was brown, yellow, and green… and quite frankly it scared me. Arnold didn't seem to have much of an appetite either, he would occasionally take a bite while glancing up at Susie who was stationed across the table with Oskar, it was almost like Arnold was sending death threats with his eyes. Was he seriously wigging out over someone seeing us kiss? He was acting like we got caught fornicating on national television for Pete's sake!

"So what's your major, Helga?" Mr. Hyunh offered what little conversation he could think of.

"English lit… with a minor in Elizabethan poetry." I glanced over at Arnold, who was swirling the water in his glass. "But I dabble in a lot of different things."

"So you like English huh?" Ernie took a bite of the unknown substance on our plates. "I'm a physics man myself."

"Oh?"

"You bet your sweet cheeks!" Arnold's head lifted at the 'sweet cheeks' comment. "It's like Newton's law of motion. Wrecking balls go flying, buildings go falling! BOOM!" he slammed his fist on the table, causing all the dishes to clink and clatter.

"On that note.." Arnold's grandpa pushed his plate away from himself. "_Please_ tell me there's cake Pookie!"

"What's Kwanzaa without cake?" she jumped up and ran into the kitchen.

"That woman will be the death of me." he sighed.

Arnold and I made eye contact before inconspicuously smiling at one another. Arnold glanced back over at Susie and his smile faded. She was watching us. His hand shot up, cupping the side of his head and laying his head on the table, blocking off my view of him. What? Were we suddenly five years old again? What was his problem? Before I could say anything his grandma reappeared with what seemed to be a regular looking chocolate cake with '_Happy Kwanzaa_!' written in lime green icing.

"Pookie for the last time it's not Kwanzaa!- oooh.. Is that _chocolate_? Who cares what day it is! Happy Kwanzaa to me!" he held up a knife. "Pass that baby over here!"

Thankfully the cake was delicious, unlike her strange main course. From what Arnold always said growing up his grandma's specialties included watermelon, watermelon….. Uh… watermelon… and now apparently chocolate cake could be added to the list.

"So Helga.." Susie smiled warmly at me and Arnold. "How long have you and Arnold been together?"

Without warning Arnold dropped his fork on to his plate, causing a loud clink along with his coughing fit. "Crimeny Arnold!" I pat his back roughly as he wheezed and sputtered.

"You two are dating?" Ernie's eyebrow raised.

"YAY! I win the pool!" Oskar stood up from his seat and pumped his fists victoriously over his head. "You two owe me twenty dollars! I _told_ you they were together already! Eh heh heh heh!"

"Sit down you no good bum!" Arnold's grandpa reached over and slapped his arm. "Oh ho ho, Shortman! Why didn't you tell us? This is great!"

Arnold's grandma cheered before getting up on her seat and singing at the top of her lungs; "HERE COMES THE BRIDE, ALL DRESSED IN WHITE!"

Arnold, who had finally quit coughing was staring at everyone in complete horror. "_Stop._" he said lowly, but the commotion didn't cease. "I said STOP IT!" he growled. Everyone in the room fell silent. Arnold wasn't one to raise his voice at others. In my heart I knew this was about to turn bad… _very_ bad. "Me and Helga are NOT dating, okay?"

"But, when I saw you two upstairs I just-"

"What you saw up there was nothing Susie! Helga and I are _just_ friends. That's all we've ever been, and that's all we'll ever BE! Okay? So can you PLEASE stop celebrating a relationship that doesn't exist and get back to celebrating grandpa's Kwanzaa birthday?" he sat back down with a heavy sigh.

… _That's all we'll EVER be?_

After several seconds I pushed myself away from the table and stood up, making eye contact with only one person. "Happy birthday Phil." and without another word I stormed out.

I was an idiot. A complete and total idiot for even harboring the hope that something had truly changed between me and Arnold. I could feel angry tears begin forming in my eyes as I hopped on the first bus back to campus. I was _done_ with him and his lies. He made me drop my walls and for the first time I was truly close with someone, it hurt worse than any other betrayal I could possibly be faced with. I was willing to overlook his betrayal with the frat before because I still had him, which was what I truly always desired. But I _thought_ things were finally progressing in our relationship to the point of _really_ being together! Not just casual sex buddies! I had made myself vulnerable only to be burned by him.

When I got back to my dorm I threw my bag down and began pacing. Never in my life had I felt both so angry and so completely shattered inside. After all these years of disappointment you think I'd be used to adding one more to the list. The hardest part for me to accept was… Arnold was always the one thing that kept me going. He was never a disappointment in my life….. Until now. The part of me that's still madly in love with Arnold was hoping he'd follow me back here to set things right… but the bigger, more angry and dominant half prayed he wouldn't step within 100 feet of me… because there would be no bars holding me back, and God knows what would come out of my mouth.

Less than an hour later my worst fear was coming true. A soft knock reverberated through my small dorm room like a bad omen. "_Helga_?" he called out on the other side of the door. "_It's Arnold_. _Can I come in?_" Despite being disheveled and livid, I swiftly opened the door to glare at him. He looked significantly less peeved than he did before, and dare I say cheery? "Hi." his signature smirk returned.

"Go... Jump... Off... A… Cliff." I started closing the door again, but he stopped me. "I will not hesitate to punch you in the face Arnoldo. GO AWAY."

"Look…" he pushed his way inside my dorm "I'm really sorry about what happened at the party. My family can get a bit out of hand."

"Y-….. your….. _family?_" I roared. "Please tell me this is some kind of SICK joke!"

"Huh? Helga, I tried warning you they say and do some weird things-"

"Listen here bucko!" I shoved him harshly against the wall. "I'm not playing this little game anymore! I'm tired of this charade between us!"

"Oh…. oh man!…" it suddenly dawned on him. "This is… about what I said earlier. About us?" he attempted to take my hand in his but I smacked it away.

"This is much bigger than what you said tonight Arnold. MUCH bigger!" I shoved him yet again. My anger was about to boil over into full on rage… and I knew I was on the cusp of going too far. "You are a real piece of work, you know that? You screwed me, literally AND figuratively! Let's go back to a few months ago, shall we?" I began pacing in front of him like a rabid tiger.

"Helga, you _really_ need to calm down before either one of us says something we're going to regret! Look.. I… I'm sorry about what I said before. It came out wrong. I was flustered and I felt trapped, and-"

"Why did you phase me out with Gerald and the frat! WHY?" I shoved him for the third time within a 10 minute period. "You have avoided things just as much as I have Arnold! You get up on your high horse and call me out for being a coward when you're the biggest one of them all! You've been using me as your surrogate girlfriend to get your jollies off without any REAL commitment and turning me into an emotionally unstable wreck! Well guess what Arnold? I'M DONE." To prove my point I shoved him again only to have him grab me by my wrists. "Oooh, I bet you feel like a big man now huh? You got me by my wrists! Oh I'm so defenseless!" my leg swung back before going forward and striking his shin and forcing him to let me go.

"Helga, I'm losing my patience! Please stop hitting me for a second and let me say something for once!" he held his hands in front of him for several seconds in case I decided to strike again. When he was sure I wasn't he stepped away from the wall. "If you think about it we never really stopped to define what we are exactly… _neither_ of us." his body tensed up just in case. "Everything happened so fast… all of these old feelings came back to the surface and then we just…. Kind of clung to each other after the metaphorical explosion happened."

"Old…. _feelings_? How _dare_ you bring up what I felt before! What's going on now is much deeper than…. What was it you called it before? My '_prepubescent crush_'? Guess what Arnold? The game is different now. I didn't kiss you on top of some building after screaming at you about my undying love! _This_ is our reality now, but the thing is I've grown up! I can see that we're _not_ JUST friends! You've got your head so far up your own ass you can't see that I…. I…." my sentence slowly got away from me. I couldn't make myself say it.

"I have too grown up Helga!" he was clearly getting exasperated. "Why do I always have to be the bad guy in your life story? Why do you _always _blame me for everything? I'm _NOT _the bad guy Helga! All I've done is try and be a part of your life and prove that you really are a good person deep down inside." he took another step closer "But after everything that's happened…. Let's face it…. You're the same angry little _girl_ inside that you always were.."

I stepped forward until his nose was almost touching mine "_Let's face it Arnold," _I mimicked, narrowing my eyes at him. "_You're never going to be anything more than a degenerate orphan with a love complex who's so far removed from reality he wouldn't know real love if it slapped him in the face!_" my hand shot up and struck him across the face before I could stop myself. Both of us froze, wide eyed… what did I just _do_? He seemed shell-shocked and his mouth was hanging open slightly. Out of all the insults I chose to use…. I used the worst one. His hand shakily touched his cheek before taking a step back towards the door…. And that was when I saw something completely foreign in his eyes that showed me I had gone too far…..

_Tears._

* * *

><p><em><strong>**Two Months Later** (March)<strong>_

I was more than likely on my fourth or fifth beer of the night, I wasn't sure. I had lost count after the room began to turn fuzzy and the people at the bar began sounding like drunken seals. What did it matter anyway? I had one goal, and one goal only this evening: sleep with someone, move on, and be happy… well, I suppose that was more than one goal. But the point was I was tired of sulking in my dorm room for the past two months pondering why everything had to go wrong between me and he-who-shall-not-be-named. I wanted to finally be happy, because frankly I don't know if I've ever truly _been_ happy before.

"How bout him? He's cute.." I slurred, pointing to a decent looking guy playing pool with his friends.

"Lady, I'm a bartender. If you're looking to hook up go on Match dot com."

"Listen bucko, I'm paying you to provide me with a mind altering substance. The things I do or say that may irritate you are _your_ fault!" my hand slammed against the wooden counter.

"Too bad you were just as annoying sober. Nice try blondie." he quipped.

The boy I had been ogling a few minutes prior suddenly appeared on the stool next to mine. "Another round please, Pete." the bartender grumbled something along the lines of '_whatever_' in response and got a new pitcher and began filling it with whatever beer was on tap. While he was waiting he glanced over at me and nodded as a greeting. I responded with a coy grin in return. This is what people like to call the beginnings of a 'mating ritual'. In college all it takes is a simple hello before you find yourself naked and sweaty under the sheets with some random guy whom you'll never hear from again.

"Hi.." he supplied. "I'm Ben."

"Helga."

"Helga.." he repeated. "I like it. It suits you." the bartender set his pitcher of beer on the counter and left to take care of another customer on the other end of the bar. Ben glanced back and forth between me and the pitcher, obviously contemplating if I was worth sticking around for. Using my only 'man-luring' tool I knew, I softly bit my bottom lip and gave him the most seductive look I could think of in my partially drunken haze. He swiveled his seat the other direction and called out to some guy named Derek. I could tell he was mouthing something to him, given he was making gestures aimed at me. I imagine it was something along the lines of '_I found a piece of ass. You're on your own bro!_'. His little minion Derek came over to the bar and grabbed the pitcher of beer, but not before giving me a thorough inspection with his eyes first. They blatantly high-fived in front of me before he left, which usually would send me into an angry rant about sexism… but tonight I didn't care. Tonight my goal was to use this peon for his warm body.

"So how about another drink?" he offered.

"Here's the deal Ben." I grabbed the back of his barstool and turned him so we were knee to knee and I was dangerously close to his face. "I've had _a lot_ of alcohol tonight, and trust me when I say I don't need more to convince me into sleeping with you. I'm here tonight for the same reasons you are. You want some, _I_ want some… its as simple as that. Now here's what's about to happen; I'm going to pay my tab and when I'm done you're going to ask me where I'm headed for the night. And then I'll say '_oh, I think I'll go back to my dorm… would you like to come?_' and so we'll walk back, fully aware of the sexual tension lingering in the air, both anticipating the supposed mind blowing sexual encounter that's just moments away. We'll get back to my dorm, and most likely you'll grope me halfheartedly in an attempt to put me 'in the mood', which will then lead to the most unfulfilling 7 minutes of our young lives. I'll stare blankly at the ceiling while you hurriedly pull your pants back on to escape the dreadful after sex courtesy cuddling. You'll cough awkwardly and excuse yourself because you suddenly realized you left your hot plate on back in your dorm, to which you will leave sprinting out the door with the full intent to never call me again and to awkwardly avoid me at all costs. Now most girls would be offended by such behavior, but frankly Ben… you're hardly a dreamboat, and I just need a body on top of me. So let's just save ourselves the awkwardness and get down to business, okay?"

Ben stared at me completely slack jawed and silent. The bartender, who was also staring strangely at me shook his head in disbelief. He got out a shot glass and filled it with tequila, sliding it in front of Ben. "You're gonna need that bud."

After a very long minute of silence Ben reached for the shot and tossed it down with a hiss before looking back at me. "Sorry, I think I just realized I'm gay." he quickly stood up from his seat and practically ran away screaming.

"_Okay… so maybe that was a little strong._" I muttered into my beer mug.

After that ridiculously bad attempt at trying to hook up, I realized it wasn't going to be so simple for someone like me. I was abrasive, brash… not to mention a terrible conversationalist. Who was I kidding? This idea was doomed to fail from the very start, because who in their right mind would want to hop in the sack with a nut job tomboy like _me_? Besides, nobody could ever _truly_ distract me from the perils that were currently plaguing my mind.

I got back to my dorm room still feeling buzzed, and what little self respect I had was still smashed on the floor after the Ben incident. I landed on my mattress staring at the ceiling and wondering how long I was going to keep acting like I wanted to move on and forget Arnold. No matter who I eventually managed to hook up with they would never be able to distract me from Arnold… I don't think anyone ever really could…

Something suddenly hit me like a truck. "Wait a second..." In my life I've had only _one_ distraction from him... _One_ person made me forget how much I love Arnold. I blindly dug around inside my bag and grabbed my phone. "_It's show time._"

After the phone call was made I changed into my fancy bra that I absolutely abhorred, and impatiently waited at the foot of my bed. Less than twenty minutes later a familiar rhythmic knock only _we_ knew echoed against the cheaply made door. I unlatched the door and held it open for-

"Hey buddy." Jason grinned happily, wrapping his arms around my waist and carrying me over to the bed and setting me down. "I was beginning to think you were never gonna call!" his hands went straight for his belt and began undoing it. After they were unbuttoned his pants hung loosely at his waist, revealing a good portion of his boxer briefs underneath. It suddenly dawned on me that I was about to get exactly what I had wanted…. A sex partner for the night. A warm body. And suddenly I realized I was terrified. Five minutes prior I was completely gung-ho on the idea. What the _hell _was wrong with me?

He pulled his shirt over his head and began crawling towards me on the bed. His lips instantly found their way to an all too familiar spot on my neck, nipping and sucking along my collarbone the way he knew I liked it…. But for some reason it wasn't enough. "Jason?"

"mmhmm?" he hummed into my skin.

"I can't do this.."

He lifted his head away from my neck and moved towards the edge of the bed. "Are you alright? What's wrong Helga?"

I could feel tears burning in the ducts of my eyes. I never wanted to feel this way… I desperately wanted to be able to forget all about Arnold just for one night. But yet here I was on the verge of tears with a half naked gorgeous boy, and thinking about anything _but_ having relations with him. "What _isn't _wrong?" those dreaded tears began escaping down my cheeks.

"_oh_ _Helga.._" his strong arms pulled me into a warm embrace while one of his hands gently began stroking my hair as I cried into his shoulder.

"I'm so-" I hiccupped "so sorry.."

"For what?"

"You were expecting hot sex… instead you get a girl crying on your shoulder like a lunatic!" I wailed and began crying even harder.

"I hope you know that first and foremost you're my friend. Sure the sex part would have been great.." he laughed, "but if you need someone to talk to, then I'm here for you." I lifted my head out of his shoulder to look at him. I was pretty sure I looked like the most unattractive person on the planet. Being the gentleman he was, he didn't say a word about it. He simply wiped the tears away with his thumbs and softly kissed my forehead. "What's going on in that freakishly smart brain of yours?"

"I'm not smart.." I looked down at my lap to examine the loose thread coming out of my pajama bottoms.

"Come on Helga.." his finger tilted my chin back up.

"…. _What's wrong with me_?" another tear fell down my cheek. "_Am I so disgusting that no man would ever want me? Or is it my abrasive personality? Or my-_"

"Are you kidding me? Any guy would be lucky to have you!" he looked at me like I was insane. "You're pretty.. Funny.. Smart.."

"Then….. Why didn't _you_ want me, Jason?" After all this time I _finally_ got to ask him that question. It had been plaguing me ever since things had ended between us.

"Ugh…" his head fell into my shoulder as he groaned. "Because I was an idiot."

"Explain." I shrugged him out of the nook of my shoulder.

"When you and I started… whatever you want to call it, I had just gotten out of a relationship that had been pretty serious. My ex totally tore my heart out and I promised myself I'd never let someone be that close to me again and that from that moment on I was going to keep it casual-"

"That's not true! You dated that girl and ditched me." I frowned.

"It was stupid of me…" he sighed. "I dated her because…. Well…."

"Well, what?" I crossed my arms hastily in front of me.

"Because I was terrified." his hand reached out and took mine. "You and I had gotten really close… and I realized I was breaking my promise to myself. So when I met my last ex I immediately jumped into a relationship with her because she was the safe choice…. She couldn't break my heart."

"…. So you broke mine instead." I removed my hand from his. "I guess that's pretty much par for the course, right?"

"Listen…" he scooted closer and took each of my hands in his. "There's absolutely _nothing_ wrong with you Helga G. Pataki… I made a huge mistake when I let you slip through my fingers all those months ago. If I had a time machine and I could go back to that night I went home with that other girl instead of you… I know sure as hell my choice would be different."

I don't know when I began leaning in to kiss him, but all I knew was in that short two second bracket after he finished speaking I had connected my lips with his. It was a soft, slow kiss. It was actually very sweet… and yet it was so…. _not_ Arnold. I pulled away just as quickly as it began. "I'm sorry… I can't. I can't make myself… UGH!"

"It's alright Helga, really.." he reached over and brushed a stray hair from my eyes. "I get it. I'm just….. not Arnold.."

"Huh?" my eyes nearly comically sprang from their sockets. "W-what do you know about _Arnold_?"

"He was the one with you at the pizza parlor that day, right?" I nodded dumbly. "Anyone with half a brain could see the way you looked at him Helga…. And it didn't really help when you talked about him pretty much _all_ the time when _we_ would hang out."

"Oh…"

"I wouldn't worry too much about him Helga." he patted my arm, "He was practically sending me death threats with his eyes. And trust me, _no_ guy gets that worked up over their '_friend_' talking to another guy… He's crazy about you too. I know it! Just give him time.."

I let out a loud scoff. "I've been waiting for that boy since I was three years old. And besides, whatever chance I ever had to impress Arnold and woo him are completely diminished. I managed to screw up pretty royally… and _that's_ putting it lightly."

"What happened?"

"Me and him have had sex a few times, despite the fact that I've secretly been repressing severe anger towards him for actions he made that I never fully understood. Two months ago I lost my temper on a whole new level, to which I may have… called him an…. an….. _orphan_." I shut my eyes tightly "And then I might have slapped him."

"Wow… Okay, so that's pretty intense. But that doesn't mean-"

"He had TEARS in his eyes! I made the boy CRY!" my eyes began watering again. "He's been there for me for as long as I can remember… And when I let him start to get close to me without barriers, what do I do? I repay him by acting like a brat. Not to mention I hid behind a metaphorical mask for several decades to deliberately deter his thoughts from assuming I was in love with him.. And for what? To let it all come to this? What the _HELL_ have I been doing for nearly 19 years of my life? I'm turning 22 next week… and Arnold was right. I'm still the same little girl I was all those years ago-"

"Whoa, whoa!" he grabbed me by my shoulders. "I think you're forgetting the most important part of what you just said Helga. Don't you see? It isn't about what you hide behind the mask. It's about who's still there when the mask comes off... and he was. He _always_ was.. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Do you not see that he just might care about you just as much as you care about him? Maybe even _more_?"

"I-…. I don't know about that one Jason. I screwed up _everything_ with Arnold. Even an apology wouldn't be enough to try and salvage a _friendship_ now let alone a relationship. Whatever miniscule feelings he once had are over and dead. You should have seen the look in his eyes when he left that day! Not only did I completely lose my cool… I also broke his spirit."

"Look, no matter what unpleasantries were exchanged, if you two are _truly_ meant to be together then nothing can stop what's meant to be. I'm someone who believes that _real_ love has no end. Just give this thing time to blow over before reaching out to him."

"Yeah, I'll add that to my list of things that will never happen." I scoffed. "I honestly wish things could be simple, and everything could go back to my freakish definition of normal. Back to when I was still 'one of the boys' during frat poker night." I sighed heavily and tossed myself back on to my pillows. "Hey Jason… Do you think you can do me a huge favor?"

"Anything."

"Can you stay with me tonight? No funny business…" a small smile formed at the corners of his mouth, and without saying another word he laid down next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. As I began falling asleep in his arms I realized I forgot something. "_Jason_?"

"Yeah?"

"_Zip your pants back up before I kill you AND your unborn children._"

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><p>For the past few years on the eve of any of our birthdays, me and the guys would go on the roof of the frat house with lawn chairs and a 24 pack of beer to commemorate the strike of midnight leading into the day of our births. We'd make said birthday person wear a comically huge sombrero that said 'Nacho Bitch' on the front. (It was a novelty item from Mexico from several spring breaks previous.) And on the last stroke of midnight they'd get the complimentary Ho Ho with a cigarette stuck in the middle of it in lieu of a candle. It was actually a silly tradition, and I <em>hated<em> going on that roof for Danny's birthday in January whilst I froze my ass off… but in a way I loved that they wanted to include me in their frat boy love-fest. It was one of the few moments where they all showed genuine love and care for one another, even if that meant eating a filthy ash covered Ho Ho on top of building and washing it down with cheap beer. It was _their_ tradition, and it was special.

This year would be my first birthday in several years that I wouldn't be celebrating with the frat boys. Despite my insistence that my involvement with them was purely for Arnold related reasons, I found myself missing those morons. They may have punched my arm on occasion and tried to chest bump with me, but they treated me like a friend. A _real_ friend. I was turning 22 in less than an hour and I felt terrible about it. I missed their stupid tradition… I missed _them_. I kept having to keep myself from calling them and reminding them it was my 'birthday eve'. I didn't call mainly because Arnold was probably there with them, having a good laugh at my expense. Who was I to spoil their fun?

A loud bang on my door startled me from my thoughts, followed by a deep voice shouting "_Campus police! Open up!_"

I crept up to the door and looked through the peep hole. "Danny?"

"_Open up Pataki!_" his laughter was muffled from the other side of the door.

_Holy shit… do I have ESP or something?_

I unlatched my door and it quickly swung open. In the blink of an eye I was in a bear hug with Danny, completely lifted off my feet and being twirled in a circle. "PATAKI!" he squeezed me tighter. "Long time no see!"

"If you squish me any more my internal organs are going to squeeze out of me like toothpaste." I hissed between clenched teeth, and he finally let me stand on my own two feet.

"There's my partner in crime!" Louis stood in the doorway grinning at me.

"Louis?…. LOUIS!" for some unknown reason I lost all dignity and rushed over to him and literally hurled myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly. If I had to pick the one frat boy I missed the most, it'd be Louis. "You guys! What are you doing here?" I jumped up and down excitedly.

"C'mon Pataki! Did you think we'd miss your big 2-2?" Danny wrapped his arm around my shoulders before playfully pulling me into a headlock and rubbing his knuckles over my head.

"Bring in the stuff!" Louis called out the door.

To my complete and utter surprise, none other than Gerald Johanssen stood in the doorway with a case of beer resting on his shoulder. "Pataki." he nodded at me. Strangely enough he was wearing a pair of sunglasses at 11:40 at night, which fit well with the unamused expression he was currently wearing.

"What's with the glasses Geraldo?" I razzed. And if I was able to actually _see_ his eyes I'm pretty sure he was rolling them right about now.

"Don't bother Pataki. He's been wearing those things for two days straight. Anyway, who cares! We brought the goods!" Louis ushered Gerald into the room and took the beer case from him, opened it, and offered me one.

"Well guys… It's an understatement to say I'm surprised to see you." I grabbed the beer and cracked it open. Thanks to Gerald's sunglass-clad eyes I couldn't tell if he was looking at me or not. In the back of my mind I wondered if I should be worried he was here.

"We're here for you bud!" Danny lightly punched my shoulder before plopping down in my computer chair.

"WAIT!" Louis gestured for me to stay where I was before bolting back out into the hallway, returning moments later. "It's not a birthday without-"

"NO!" I grinned as he produced the infamous 'Nacho Bitch' sombrero. "_now_ it feels like a birthday party." he set the hat on top of my head.

During our little reunion Gerald was uncharacteristically quiet, which definitely meant he knew about everything that happened between me and Arnold. There was no doubt it my mind that Louis and Danny dragged Gerald here tonight against his will, especially since he didn't hardly say 5 words the whole time we were all together. I couldn't even imagine how Arnold felt about them being here, given he didn't want me near _his_ friends. Maybe Gerald only tagged along so he could give a report back to Arnold?

"Ah hah, it's time!" Louis dug inside his bag and pulled out a Ho Ho. "Danny if you will please do us the honors." He unwrapped the snack cake and held it out for Danny, who reached inside his pocket and produced an _actual_ birthday candle and stuck it inside the Ho Ho before lighting it. Just like a bad cliché, my heart was melting like wax.

"You got me… an… actual candle?" I held back the tears that wanted to form in my eyes.

"Make a wish Pataki!"

I glanced over at Gerald, then back to the candle. "Here goes nothing!" the small flame quickly died after a short puff of air expelled from my lips.

Danny and Louis began singing 'Happy Birthday' obnoxiously off key and giving me 22 'punches' to the arm. Gerald on the other hand seemed to be looking at the wall, though I wouldn't know for sure since his eyes weren't visible and his expression was completely blank. He continued his silence even after the 24 pack of beer was long gone and Danny and Louis were drunk as skunks. He never said happy birthday to me, nor did he acknowledge me any further than his simple nod at the doorway. But as they were packing up their stuff and heading out the door he stopped and whispered something to Danny, who nodded at him solemnly.

"What's going on?" I questioned when he closed the door after the guys walked out, leaving nobody but me and him in the room together. "I should have known you didn't come here for shits and giggles. You came here to yell at me, didn't you?" I growled.

"No, I didn't.." he leaned against the wall and sighed. "There's some stuff I think you should know."

"Are you finally coming out of the closet?" his face turned stone hard "Oh relax, I'm kidding _Geraldo_."

He came across the room and sat in the computer chair, pointing at my bed. "Sit." Instead of giving him a hard time I complied, sitting across from him on my bed. "What I'm about to say, I _need_ you to listen and listen good… can you do that?"

"Yes. I think I can." I nodded.

He took a deep breath and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I never really believed much in fate. I always thought we decided our own. But you and my man Arnold? You defy all odds, you know that?"

"What?" my brow furrowed. "I-"

"I'm trying to tell you…" he paused for several moments "I'm the reason all of this happened to you two. The fights… all of it."

His words struck me like a dagger through the temple. "E-excuse me?" my pitch got higher.

"Before you start breathing fire, let me explain." I simply glared at him in response, too wrapped up in ways to murder him without leaving a trail of evidence. "When we were growing up, I really.. _really_ did not like you. You were a bully who made Arnold miserable. You pushed us around and drove us crazy… But the thing is, Arnold never hated you. He always wanted to find the inner kindness he was _sure_ you somehow possessed. He used to tell me you were just hiding behind a mask because you were scared. And the sad thing was, I knew he was right. But on the other hand I knew you could never change your ways, and you would always be there to make him feel miserable. I didn't want that for him.." he shook his head and let out a semi-amused sigh. "I never thought I'd see the day he'd actually start falling for you, but he did… senior year of high school." my jaw dropped. "He had a crush on Trixie for quite a while and you two didn't really interact much anymore, so I figured we were finally free from 'the horror known as Helga'… but that was until we all did our community service projects at Urban Tots. I remember Arnold and I playing with our kids, we were drawing with chalk on the asphalt when he nudged me and pointed at you. You were playing with a little blonde haired girl in the sandbox, not only were you smiling and laughing, but you were actually being kind. He couldn't stop looking at you, and the longer he looked at you the more I recognized that look… he was swooning."

"Oh my god." I gasped into my palm.

"A few weeks later he asked me if he should ask you to senior prom. I told him this was _you_ we were talking about, and that you'd reject him flat on his face before spitting on him. So in the end he lost the courage to ask you and we _all_ ended up going to prom alone." he grumbled. "So… through one of my sources I had heard Trixie had a thing for Arnold too, and at prom I made sure and got Arnold alone to tell him about it. He said he wasn't going after a relationship with her because it would break our pact. I informed him you were off with someone else, thus _breaking_ the pact…. And so I sent Trixie his way. Then when I saw you…"

"You lied to me." my bottom lip trembled. "You told me he had been putting the moves on her for months.."

"I know.." he sighed. "And since they were dating I thought we'd finally be free from you… but then you started hanging out with the frat."

"You never told me to go away!" I shouted.

"Let me finish!" he growled. "When Arnold broke up with Trixie, it was because he wasn't _truly_ in love with her. And the night he dumped her all he wanted was for you to be there. He kept bitching and moaning '_I wish Helga was here!_'… and I knew things were about to be bad again. I saw all the telltale signs, you spent a lot of time together at the frat house, which slowly turned into just you two… and then there was that night he slept over at your place." I felt my fists tighten at my sides. "One of the people in my civics class told me he saw Arnold coming out of your dorm room that morning, and not even 15 minutes later you were shouting at the top of your lungs how you slept together. So I went straight to Arnold and asked him if it was true, and he said that you literally just _slept_…"

"You told Rhonda you son of a bitch!"

"I didn't… I got a friend from your dorm to tell her."

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" I rose from my bed, fists raised.

"I'm trying to explain here! Just…. Let me finish." I reluctantly sat back down. "I told Arnold that Rhonda had gotten wind of the situation, and when she inevitably came sniffing around that he should simply say nothing on the subject."

"So she'd come to her own conclusion."

"Exactly.." he bit his lip and sighed. "And as for the frat…. _I_ told them that you weren't allowed at poker night anymore. Arnold knew nothing about it. He wasn't even there when I told them."

"What the _fuck _Gerald? Why would you do this to me? You would ruin everything all over some childhood razzing? Are you demented?… and most importantly, why would you do this to ARNOLD? You knew he had feelings for me and you fucked EVERYTHING up just because of your own resentment towards me? FUCK YOU!"

"I came clean with Arnold, Helga.." he reached up to his sunglasses and lowered them from his face, revealing a ghastly looking black eye. "It didn't go so hot."

"Holy shit." I got closer to get a better look at it. "_Arnold_ did that to you?"

"I want you to understand something.." he slipped the sunglasses back on. "I never realized the type of bond you two shared until a few months ago… he came back to the frat house with tears streaming down his face, and he wouldn't say a word to us. I knew in my heart that you had finally erupted at him… and when he finally told me what you did, I instantly felt guilty."

"No shit you prick! Do you not realize what I've DONE? I can't take back what I did to him!"

"He's been inside his dorm room for two months straight. He refuses to leave… I've never seen him so… lost." his head hung lowly. "He needs you Helga… you're a part of him. And it took something like this to make me see just how much he needs you. And I am _so_ sorry… more sorry than I've ever been about anything before. Not just because I hurt Arnold, but because I hurt you too. You've been my friend these past few years, but I couldn't see it until now." he lifted his head back up "I don't expect either of you to forgive me. But if there's one thing intend on doing, it's trying to bring you two back together.."

"It's not going to happen." I shook my head firmly from side to side. "He'll forgive _you_ over time… but he can _never_ forgive me!"

"You're not even going to _try_ and see him?"

"You don't get it.." I turned away from him. "I can't.."

"Can't… or wont?" I turned further until my back was to him. "Okay… be that way Helga." his footsteps traveled over to the door. "When you cry yourself to sleep every night Pataki, just remember there's someone out there just as miserable, missing you too. Maybe someday you'll grow the balls to match your testosterone and tell him how you really feel…" the door opened. "Maybe someday you'll really take off the mask."

and just like that, he was gone..

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><p><strong>Fuuuuuuuuhhhh…. This chapter is a BEAST. Haha.. I hope you enjoyed it! I've been laying the foundation for Gerald's reveal for quite a while, and I was hoping nobody really picked up on it. Were you surprised? No, I don't consider Gerald a villain in this story… I think Helga left him bitter towards her, and was honestly trying to spare Arnold the trouble of getting involved with her. But in the end he realized Helga is exactly what he needs.. (d'awww)<strong>

**Anywhoozles, this chapter took me forever and a day to write. It's probably choppy and full of mistakes, but hey! At least its up! Lol.. I thank you all for reading and reviewing! And let me know what you think so far!**


	9. I'll take my chances

**Okay, it's been an ungodly amount of time between updates and I'm truly sorry about that! I understand how much it sucks waiting for a story to be updated. Things here at home have been crazy. To make a long story short; I'm pretty much at the doctors daily to be poked and prodded. (which is another long story)**

**But anyway, the show must go on! I'm just so sorry it took this long to get this chapter out to you guys. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>**One week Later**<strong>_

**Helga's POV:**

I spent several days after my encounter with Gerald just staring blankly at my dorm wall. His confession kept repeating over and over in my mind, leading me to wonder why I was staring at the wall instead of chasing after my football headed love and fixing this mess. What was holding me back? _Fear._ Fear of the unknown and fear of how Arnold would react to seeing me again. Sure, Gerald _could_ technically be our fall guy in this scenario, but he didn't make me call Arnold a degenerate orphan. That was my _own_ stupidity and rampant temper coming back to bite me in the ass yet again. Regardless of my behavior I knew I owed Arnold a sincere and heartfelt apology, face to face. Another one of my fears that was looming over my head was my tendency to put my walls back up when things got too serious or deep between us. I didn't like feeling vulnerable with _anyone_, let alone him. But now I have to live with this newfound guilt after my chit chat with Gerald. Now that I _know_ Arnold didn't do any real wrongdoing towards me, I knew I'd have to bite the bullet and finally apologize.

During my walk to Arnold's dorm hall I tried convincing myself that there was a loophole in my logic, that there was some reason why I didn't need to throw myself at his mercy. But every time I came up short for an excuse, and now I'm standing a foot away from his door and fidgeting awkwardly and wondering if I should knock. On a thoughtless whim I thrust my fist in the air and rapidly knocked on his door before retreating my fist protectively under my other arm. After some shuffling on the other side of the door the knob turned and the door swung open.

"…._ Eugene_." I muttered. "Do you ever NOT answer the door?"

"Helga?…. This is certainly surprising." he frowned slightly. "What brings you here?"

"I'm here to tell you about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I brought pamphlets and everything. What in the hell do you _THINK _I'm doing here you moron? Crimeny!"

"Oh.." he glanced over his shoulder, presumably at Arnold's side of the room. "Well you see, Um…. Arnold-"

"Can I talk to him?" I hesitated for a moment. "….. _Please_?"

"I'm sorry Helga, but I'm afraid he- OOF!" I elbowed him in the stomach and pushed past him. I was done asking for favors. "_I'm okay.._" he mumbled from the floor.

My eyes instantly fell on what I presumed to be Arnold's bed, given that I've never technically been inside his dorm room before. To my surprise his bed was empty. "What the _hell_?" I grabbed Eugene by the back of his shirt and plucked him up off the floor, shifting his scrawny body towards Arnold's bed. "Where is he?"

"Arnold went for a walk!" he quickly flinched out of fear of another strike. "He said he needed to clear his head and left a few hours ago. That was the first thing he's said to me in over two weeks, so I figured he must be feeling better."

I released Eugene's shirt and walked over towards Arnold's bed, absentmindedly touching his bedspread with the tips of my fingers. "He hasn't talked to you about anything…. _else_?"

"Arnold doesn't tell me much of anything, unfortunately." he came up next to me and softly patted my arm. "But it doesn't mean I don't notice what's going on around me." Eugene reached down to Arnold's nightstand and opened the drawer, revealing a turned over picture frame inside it. He looked at me somewhat somberly and motioned for me to look at the frame. Hesitantly, I reached for it and picked it up. My hands immediately began shaking and my heart dropped when I laid eyes on the photograph. It was a photo of us taken the same night as the photo on my memory board. It was a different shot of us, but in a similar pose with both of us holding on to the others waist and smiling. But in this photo his head was resting against mine, almost like he was hugging me.

"Arnold has kept that picture by his bed since you two took it. I used to catch him staring at it and smiling every once in a while." my head shot up to look at him. _Gerald wasn't lying before about Arnold having some sort of feelings…_ "It makes me sad to see things turn out this way. You two always seemed destined to be together. Your breakup really hit him hard-"

"Wait, _what_?" I cut him off, "We never even dated."

His brow furrowed, "But I thought… I mean…"

"We never _really_ dated." I clarified "We just spent a lot of time together." my eyes fell back on to the picture. The picture was a reminder of better, more simple times. Seeing his smiling face made me miss him that much more.

I could tell Eugene was watching my reactions, studying me. "You love him." It didn't come out as a question, but more of a statement.

"Love is subjective." I countered, setting the frame back into the drawer. "If Arnold isn't around then I'm _leaving_." I shoved past him yet again to walk through the door. "Don't tell him I came by."

"Helga, wait!" Eugene frantically followed behind me, grabbing at my wrist. Using strength nobody could have guessed, he halted me in the hallway and spun me towards him so we were face to face. "I may not know the specifics of what kind of friendship you two shared exactly, but I do know one thing from watching on the sidelines…" he clasped my hand in his, "I haven't seen Arnold smile once since you two stopped talking. Something is painfully missing and anyone with eyes could put two and two together." his eyes bore in my mine and my bottom lip began trembling against my will as teardrops started welling up in my eyes. "You're scared for some reason, and he is too."

"I'm not scared of anything." I lie, forcefully pulling my hand away from him to not too subtly wipe the tears from my eyes.

"When will you stop this charade?" he stared at me somewhat incredulously, both of us knowing all too well that I was being difficult just for the sake of being difficult. We were both standing there awkwardly in the middle of the hall giving each other the stare down, I was at a loss for a rebuttal. _Why_ was I making this so difficult for everyone involved? For the first time in many years, Eugene looked genuinely angry. "You're going to lose him forever." his eyes narrowed.

I stepped towards him, glaring at him icily "_You can't lose something you never had._"

A scoff escaped his lips "You're blind." he shook his head, turning back to go into his dorm.

"And you're a… um…." Eugene paid no attention to me, slamming the door behind himself. "WEENIE!" I screeched. Several people in the hall looked at me oddly as a blush crept up on my cheeks. I left Arnold's dorm hall feeling absolutely horrid and foolish. What was _wrong_ with me? It was like I had completely lost myself somewhere along the way during this whole 'one of the boys' venture. Arnold needed me yet here I was taking the easy way out by running away and blaming someone else for it. How could I possibly face Arnold when I didn't even know who _I_ was anymore?

A few hours later after my classes for the day I found myself back in my usual routine, staring at my ceiling and thinking instead of working on my homework. Without Arnold around to keep me on my toes I stopped really trying. He was my motivator, the person who got me in gear. What was the point anymore? After our graduation this summer Arnold and the frat had wanted to take a cross country road trip to all the Six Flags theme parks as one last hoorah. What did I have to look forward to NOW? Finding a cruddy apartment on the seedy side of town, adopt a cat and eventually die alone?

I rolled off my bed and perched myself next to my memory board full of photos and memorabilia. The picture of Arnold and myself still contained a pushpin through his left eye, despite its morbidity I couldn't help but smirk. I kept all these stupid reminders of Arnold just as some sort of penance.

A knock came from my door, startling me. It had to be that stupid bible guy again. He came by twice a week trying to tell me about Jesus, and every time I'd tell him that Jesus and I aren't on speaking terms before I slam the door in his face. "Stewart. Jesus and I aren't any friendlier than we were four days ago." I set my forehead against the door in frustration, banging it several times.

"_Ooooh, who's Stewart? He sounds like fun!_" my ears perked up. "_Open up Pataki!_" I practically flung the door open to be greeted by Louis who was leaning against the wall and grinning. "Who's Stewart, and where can I find this _Jesus_ guy?"

"Louis!" I motioned for him to come inside, "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you of course!" his arm slid around my shoulders. "The guys are out for the night at a local… _establishment_." he looked at me pointedly, meaning they went to their favorite sleazy strip club on the edge of town. "Anyway, I was hoping maybe we could hang out? Play some videogames, raise hell…. Ya know, the usual."

"Why didn't you go with them?" my brow furrowed. "Vegas Vargas is your favorite stripper!"

"It pains me to say that Miss Vargas is currently with child. Alas, here I am." he bowed his head in mock sorrow before shooting it back up again. "So what do you say Pataki? Wanna come to the frat house?"

"Well…." I hesitated.

"Puh-puh-PLEAAAASE?" he jokingly nuzzled the side of my head with his.

"Oh alright you manipulative little rat! Let's go before I change my mind." I ducked out of his grasp to grab my bag.

"Woo hoo!" he immediately grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the door.

During our walk to the frat house Louis kept casually glancing at me and looking away before I could make eye contact with him. My suspicion of his motives was already heightened and I was becoming more suspicious by the second.

He finally broke down about three blocks away from our destination, sighing heavily. "Can I tell you something?"

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, "If it involves Arnold, then no."

"It doesn't… not really anyway. But um, if I tell you this you have to promise me you won't get pissed off or attempt to harm me."

I stopped walking. "Well that's reassuring." He stopped as well, turning to face me with an unsure look. "I promise, okay? What is it?"

"Do you remember when we met?"

"Yes… you were wasted off your ass and crying." I chuckled. "Why?"

"When I saw you again after I had sobered up.." he paused, smiling to himself. "I had the hots for you _so_ bad." a faint blush formed on his cheeks as he awkwardly rubbed his arm, gazing downward at his feet. After a moment he looked back up towards me. "Don't ever think we didn't notice you. It takes _a lot _of work to seem aloof when in the presence of a beautiful blonde….. with a fantastic ass I might add."

"Is this some kind of sick joke Louis?" I subconsciously covered my behind with my arms.

He shook his head in amusement, "Danny took a pair of your underwear last spring break and we all sat around admiring it like a bunch of kids." He chuckled. "I wish I _was_ joking."

"YOU DID WHAT?" I advanced towards him and punched his arm.

"You said you wouldn't hurt me!" he cringed. "I'm just trying to make a point to you…"

"What _point_? That you guys are panty snatching idiots?" I spat, "and if you were so attracted to me then why didn't you ask me out? Why didn't you make a move? Kiss me? _Anything?_"

"Because," he grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me out of his personal space. "Arnold made it very clear from the start that you were untouchable."

"Untoucha- Arnold?" my confusion only continued to grow. "What?"

"He didn't want you to get hurt… he didn't trust us I guess." he laughed. "Smart boy."

"He was… _protecting_ me? What right did he have to do that?" I hissed. "That asshole! He did more damage than any of YOU buffoons could have ever done! That selfish little prick! He just didn't want you guys to go after me…" I began rambling to myself and pacing back and forth.

Louis calmly grabbed my arm mid-rant and stopped me. "I didn't mean to make you so upset Helga.."

My hardened expression softened. "You-….. You just called me Helga. You've never called me by my first name before…" I was so utterly confused by this new development and now Louis was treating me like a normal female. _Plus_ I was now painfully aware of the frat boys underlying pervish obsession with me.

"Come on." he grabbed on to my arm. "Lets just forget about this and go play video games, yeah? It was stupid of me to bring it up." he tugged on my limb but I refused to budge. Maybe I was unable to figure _everything_ out at that very moment, but I had Louis on my side and he was the only one willing to tell me the truth. He really _was_ my friend.

His facial expression only grew more concerned with my silence. With my other arm I reached out and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him so he was in front of me. I got up on my tip toes and kissed him directly on the mouth for several moments before pulling away. His eyes were wide in shock, mouth agape. "Don't get the wrong idea bucko." I slapped his shoulder. "Consider that as leverage to hang over Danny's head next time he decides to steal my undies."

"You really are the coolest chick ever." he playfully bopped me on the chin.

* * *

><p>"I'm not used to the frat house being so quiet." I stood in the middle of the living room with my arms crossed in front of my chest.<p>

"It's nice huh?" Louis watched me from the other side of the room, casually leaning against the wall. "We got a new pool table down in the basement if you're interested." he gestured towards the basement door.

"I'm always up for some ball whacking." He waited until I came over before opening the basement door, "Be prepared. I've been practic-" his hand pressed into my back and shoved me through the doorway, causing me to trip down several stairs. "What the HELL?" I groaned from the bottom of the small stairwell. The door was barely open a crack, Louis winced and mouthed '_sorry_' before closing the door followed by the ominous click of a lock. "LOUIS!" I hobbled back up the stairs and began pounding on the door. "OPEN THE DOOR!" After several moments of screeching my head off I realized my jeans were ripped at the knees and blood was trickling down my left leg. "Ugh.." I muttered. While reaching for my phone in my pocket it dawned on me that I had left my phone in my bag…. Which was currently sitting on the couch. "I never thought I'd end up like _this_!" I scoffed. "A damn sex slave locked away in a frat house basement." I sat down on the top step and groaned into my palms. Why was he doing this to me? I sat there in silence for several minutes trying to compose myself and figure out what was going on when I heard a thumping noise coming from down the stairs.

"Louis?" I called out and the thumping paused momentarily before continuing. I quietly slithered back down the stairs in which I had previously fallen down to see what was making that noise. Before my very eyes stood Arnold with his back facing me. He was tossing darts at the dart board. "Arnold?" he hesitated tossing another dart but didn't turn to face me before he continued again. He was ignoring me. "Arnold." I said a little firmer this time. I still got no response. "I've just been kidnapped and tossed down a flight of stairs, the least you could do is acknowledge me!" he tossed another dart, but much more vigorously than before. My knee was burning now and it hurt to stand, I limped over to the couch and sat down since it was pointless to stand near Arnold. Why was he down here anyway? Did he plan this?

"You know what? If you're not going to say anything Arnoldo then I will! If I'm gonna be your prisoner down here or whatever then we might as well be on good terms. But you aren't getting anything from me until I know you're listening. Give me a sign dammit! Smoke signals, a wave-" a dart suddenly whooshed by the side of my head, impaling itself dangerously close to me on the wall. "FUCK! Are you trying to kill me?"

"They trapped me down here too." he kept his eyes on the dart board, his voice void of any emotion. He may not be happy with me, but the lines of communication had been opened… even if that meant he threw darts at my head.

"They set us up.." I stood back up but immediately sat back down due to my knee injury. "OUCH! Dammit Louis!" I groaned.

Arnold's kind hearted nature couldn't resist a damsel in distress. He finally looked over at me "Are you okay?"

"I hurt my knee when I fell down the stairs." I glanced down at my ripped jeans. "I knew I shouldn't have kissed that punk. Look at where acts of kindness get me!"

"You kissed _Louis_?" a hint of jealousy and anger briefly flashed across his eyes before he turned back to the dart board and angrily tossed another one. "You know what? Whatever, I don't care. I don't want to know."

"It was just a peck you idiot. And it was completely platonic. Plus I think he might have peed his pants a little bit out of fear."

I could vaguely see him roll his eyes and mutter; "_Whatever_."

"So what? You don't like the idea of _him_ kissing me?" I pushed myself up off the couch and hobbled over towards him, still very aware of the sharp darts he held in his hand. "Or maybe…" I stepped a little closer, "You don't like the idea of anyone but _you_ kissing me.."

"Stop." he turned and glared at me when I was just about a foot away from him. I jumped back in surprise and tripped over my bum knee before landing on the floor with a thud. His natural 'Arnold instincts' kicked in the moment I hit the floor. He knelt down, eyes wide in surprise. "Let me see your knee." he pushed my hands away from the wounded knee I was currently cradling. He slipped his fingers inside the hole of my jeans and tore it open wider to get a better look at it. The cut wasn't terribly deep, but apparently just very bloody and most likely will be bruised pretty badly. "I think there's a first aid kit in the closet under the stairs." he stood up and opened the closet door and began digging around for several moments before popping out with a small red case in his hands. I stuck my hand out to take it from him but he ignored it, kneeling down next to me once again.

"I don't need your help _football head_." I shied away from his touch but he grabbed my thigh and pulled my knee on to his lap before I could avoid him.

"You're lucky it wasn't worse." he dabbed at the cut, wiping away most of the blood.

"Oh yeah.. I'm so lucky I didn't break my neck whilst getting thrown down a flight of stairs against my will. How wonderful- OHHHHH GOD!" I moaned in agony when he put hydrogen peroxide on the wound. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH! GOD DAMMIT!" I pulled my leg from his lap, whimpering pitifully and slithering away from him.

"Stop it!" he pursued me from the floor and crawled after me as I dragged myself from his reach. When he grabbed my ankle I began screaming in protest and kicking.

"Unhand me before I kick your oddly shaped skull in!- THAT FUCKING HURTS!" he set the cotton ball with peroxide against the wound again.

"Quit running away and maybe you'd stop hurting!" he seethed. "Damn it Helga! Quit acting like you're impenetrable and iron hearted. Just STOP. Stop running from this!" we both froze in surprise.

"… You mean stop running from _us_."

"No, I meant stop running when I'm trying to help you." he looked away, flustered and refusing to make eye contact with me while he was finishing up messing with my knee, placing a bandage over it and setting my leg back on the ground before pulling his knees to his chest. This was the moment I had been waiting for… he had brought '_us_' up first..

"Arnold?"

"What?" he snapped, still refusing to look at me.

"I want you to look at me when I say what I'm about to say…. Please." his emerald green eyes hesitantly lifted and met my gaze. "I was out of line when I called you an orphan before. I lost my temper and said some terrible things in the heat of the moment, and ever since that moment I've wished that I could take it back." my heart sank a little when he stopped looking at me yet again.

"It took us getting locked in a basement for you to attempt an apology."

"Because I didn't know _what_ I was doing anymore! Everything had gotten so complicated between us and I had started believing that I didn't know you anymore.." his eyes traveled back to me, glaring. "I let myself believe you would willingly hurt me. So I lashed out… maybe it was for all the wrong reasons, or maybe it was really because I-…." a revelation suddenly hit me there in that basement sitting next to Arnold. He was waiting to hear what excuse I'd throw at him next, but I had one thing better; the honest truth. "Because I stopped knowing who _I_ was… Arnold, I've spent so long trying to find a niche for myself and trying to find a way to conform to make you like me. Somewhere down the line I guess-"

"The façade you created _became_ you." I nodded solemnly. "So what do you want from me exactly, Helga?"

I scooted over towards him and set my hand on his arm. "Can you ever forgive me for what I said?"

His gaze lingered on my hand "I honestly don't know." he shook it off of him, "How do I know I'm talking to the Helga I cared about all those years ago and not the character she created?"

"Because we wouldn't be here right now if I was putting up a front." I stated simply. "You'd be knocked unconscious and I would be upstairs killing Louis." for the first time in several months a small smile graced his beautiful lips. My emotions were starting to surface, "_I'm so sorry_…" I whispered while holding back a sob.

Arnold didn't like seeing girls cry, I knew that much. And I was currently pulling at his heartstrings even despite the situation. His hand reached out to comfort me but he pulled back quickly. "I need to think.."

"W-will there ever… be a chance… for _us_?" the question seemed to throw him off. He ran a hand over the back of his neck, sighing heavily. Maybe I shouldn't have asked about the future of our relationship so soon….

The door to the basement clicked open and Arnold quickly hopped up. Three sets of legs came down the stairs. "Okay, is everyone decent down here?" Danny stopped at the foot of the stairs with his hand covering his eyes. He slowly removed it when we remained silent, both of us were glaring angrily at them. "Aw what the hell? With all that moaning and groaning we thought you two were doing the nasty down here! What gives?"

"Mr. Tall dark and handsome over there tossed me down the stairs and busted open my knee!" I pointed at Louis. "What the hell is your problem? Did you idiots fall off your rockers and decide '_hey, lets kidnap Helga and Arnold!_'. You morons!"

"I like how you never came back with my ice cream." Arnold gave an unsettling look to Danny.

"Wait wait wait WAIT!" Danny waved his arms frantically as Gerald and Louis looked on in confusion. "When did _Louis_ suddenly become tall dark and handsome?"

"HEY!" Louis frowned.

"Good God. Just shut up Danny!" Gerald shoved him out of the way and stood in front of Arnold who was currently looking very irritated with his best friend. "If you two want to blame anyone, blame me! How about that? Will that make this all go away? Can you two finally move on and just BE TOGETHER?" he gave Arnold a light shove followed by a shout of protest from Arnold. "And how about you Helga? Do you want to take a shot at me too like Rocky over here did?" his eyes narrowed at Arnold before settling back on me. "Will that somehow make up for the fact that you two never once in 18 years stopped to consider telling the other how they felt? I might have influenced your decisions at some point… but its NOT my fault you two aren't together right now! It's YOURS." everyone in the room could feel Gerald's frustration and irritation. Nobody said a word or moved a muscle. Gerald was generally a pretty 'chill' person, and seeing him become so irate was startling. "It took me a long, LONG time to see what you two mean to each other. I regret everything I did. I was an absolute _idiot_ for not seeing it sooner and accepting it. If you two don't get past this indiscretion you'll spend the rest of your lives wondering what would have happened if you didn't have this very opportunity you two have _right now_." He grabbed the guys by the arm and shoved them up the stairs and following behind them. He shoved them through the door and paused "I've done all I can do." he pushed the door open even wider, "Now it's your turn to make a choice without a voice in your ear _telling_ you what to do... Choose wisely." Both of us remained stock-still waiting to see if he'd come back. He didn't. _And_ he had left our only exit open. My eyes traveled back and forth from the door to Arnold, waiting to see what _he_ would do. To my surprise he turned back towards me and offered a hand to help me up off the floor.

Once I was standing upright he released my hand and stepped away from me. "Are you going to answer my question from before?" I huffed. There was too much on the line right now to be subtle. I wanted his answer. He closed his eyes and somberly shook his head, sighing. That was all the answer I needed from him. "Okay." I nodded as tears began filling my eyes. "I understand." Without another word I brushed against him and limped up the stairs without looking back.

It was one thing to do 'the walk of shame' after a one night stand. But nothing could have prepared me the looks of disappointment I received as I walked through the frat house, presumably for the last time. Gerald couldn't even look at me, while Louis and Danny gave me looks of pity. What else could they do? Everything they tried to do for us had failed miserably and there was nothing more that could be done.

"Hey.." Louis cautiously grabbed my arm. "Are you going to be okay? Do you need me to walk you home?"

Tears were still haphazardly falling from my eyes and I knew I looked like a mess. I didn't blame him for considering me a suicide risk. I shook my head and whispered a throaty "_No_.."

He removed his hand from my shoulder and frowned. "Don't forget about me, okay?" I nodded and wrapped my arms around his waist, giving him a tight squeeze. He reached up and playfully ruffled my hair like he always used to do. "See you soon… Helga."

"See you around Pataki." Danny lightly jabbed my shoulder, a sad smile still present.

"Enough with the pleasantries already! Why don't you just _go_?" Gerald opened the front door.

I walked over towards the open door and paused in the doorway "I tried Gerald."

"Right.." he muttered.

I could hardly see the pavement in front of me through the layer of tears falling from my eyes. I felt absolutely horrid, washed up, and most importantly I felt alone. Everything I was afraid of was coming true. Arnold had finally given up on me after all these years. I lost myself, and in turn I ended up losing the one person who meant the most to me. What made me think that pretending to be someone else could possibly be a good idea?

I walked past a group of sorority girls who looked horrified by my red, blotchy face that was stained with tears. "Could this day get any worse?" I muttered. On that note, a drop of cold water landed on the tip of my nose followed by several more drops falling on and around me. "_Son of a bitch._" The rain began to fall heavier and heavier by the second. It really was the proverbial cherry on top of the crap-fest that is my life. Considering I was sans-jacket I wrapped my arms around myself and trudged through the downpour and headed towards the quad area of campus, still limping like a gimp. I was more than halfway to my dorm when my knee began burning due to the rain soaking all the way through my jeans. I decided to stop at one of the benches in the quad. It was completely void of human life due to the rain which in retrospect was beneficial to me, given I looked like a drowning rat. I plopped down on to the soaking wet bench and hunched over to keep the rain from hitting my knee. I sat there for I don't know how long just listening to the rain with my eyes closed. I was shivering, but I didn't really care by then. All I could think about was the past few months of my life and everything that has transpired. I wasted so much time and energy trying to be what I thought Arnold needed me to be in order to gain his acceptance, I belittled myself into an empty shell…. And I couldn't blame Arnold for turning me away. _I _didn't want to know me anymore. I was a disgrace, and an idiot for thinking Arnold might forgive me.

Whether it was the serenity of the rain falling all around me or the weight of the emotional stress, I found myself dozing off while sitting there on that bench in the middle of the deserted campus quad. For the first time in I don't know how long… I felt peaceful. The rain wasn't cold anymore, I couldn't even feel it. I almost felt warm, safe…

"_Helga_.." the feeling of someone's hand touching my arm startled me awake. I lifted my head from my leaned over position and realized the rain was still falling everywhere but on me. There was an umbrella above my head being held by a familiar football head. Images from my childhood flashed through my mind and I shuddered. "Why are you sitting in the _rain_?"

I glanced over at Arnold next to me on the bench and realized he had put his jacket over me while I was dozing. "What are _you_ doing here?" I ran my hands through my drenched hair.

"I was looking for you." he stated simply.

"When you give someone the brush off it's not wise to seek them out an hour later Arnoldo." I snuggled into his jacket, just now realizing how cold I really was.

"You are quite possibly the most infuriating, imperfectly perfect human being I've ever come into contact with Helga G. Pataki." before I could yell at him he continued; "You've been on my case since we were toddlers. You've pushed me around, picked on me and push me to my limits in more ways than one. And that includes hitting me where you know it'll hurt the most." both of us knew he meant the subject of his parents.

"I told you I was sorr-"

"I know you're sorry." he sighed. "When you walked out of that basement today I realized something…" our eyes lingered on each others for several seconds, "I'm completely terrified of living in a world without you there to drive me insane."

"That is possibly one of the weirdest things you've ever said to me." my brow furrowed "But it still doesn't change anything. No girl wants to be told they're only wanted around for the sake of your favoritism to irritation."

His hand hesitantly cupped my good knee. "Most people find your style of affection hard to endure Helga. But for some reason I've always been drawn to you despite our opposing lives and personalities. I guess in a way you're all the things I'm missing in myself."

"I'm _utterly_ confused right now." my eyes bore down on his hand. "Didn't you _just_ tell me we were over for good? Why are you telling me this crap NOW? Are you batty?"

"You never gave me a chance to say anything, Helga. But I was _going_ to say that everybody makes mistakes, and everyone does things they regret." the back of his fingers brushed against my cheek. "If I spent the rest of my life holding things against you I would wind up being a very lonely man." he leaned in close enough to rest his forehead against mine. Both of us took a collective breath at the contact. "… Because I can't see myself with anyone but you."

My hands were shaking in my lap, "A-Arnold.."

"I'm in love with you." he states firmly, cupping my cheek and rubbing our noses together.

My eyes widened. "What?"

He pulled away laughing softly. "Our relationship has never been easy. We're opposites… and maybe us being together makes no sense to other people."

"It _doesn't_! Arnold, we've been a disaster from the start. If we aren't fighting or bickering, that usually means we aren't speaking to each other. How does that translate to _love_?" I felt like an idiot for suddenly being so apprehensive, but I didn't want Arnold to make these types of decisions in the heat of the moment. We've both made far too many mistakes that way.

"Last week in my social psychology class we were talking about the human perception of love. Everyone has a different definition and understanding of what love is. My professor asked us to give _our_ definitions of what love was. Most people said that love was a feeling of joy mixed with pure chaos. Basically butterflies in your stomach." he took my hand in his, linking our fingers together. "Love to me isn't a feeling at all. Love embodies two imperfections coming together to make something….. _perfect_. You're my polar opposite, Helga… but you and I somehow fit together."

The rain still raged on around us, but neither one of us seemed to notice. Arnold was staring at me expectantly and gripping my hand tightly. He was nervous. "Are you _sure_ you want this?"

"Yes Helga…. I'm not saying it will be easy, and I'm not going to ask you to change. All I can ask for is for you to be yourself. That's the girl I fell in love with, and that's the girl I want in my life." A not too subtle sob escaped my lips, startling us both. I cupped my face in my hands, crying and shivering. "Helga?" Arnold was quick to take me in his arms, tossing the umbrella to his side and allowing the rain to hit us. "God, are you okay? Helga!" my sobs continued to rip out with wild abandon for several minutes. "_Tell me what's wrong.._" he gently kissed the top of my soaking wet head.

"Nothing is _wrong_ football head!" I pulled my head from his chest. "I'm just a little overwhelmed right now, okay? I've experienced every emotion humanly possible in the past 24 hours, do you blame me for being a little nuts right now?"

He smiled warmly and cupped my face in his hands. "I love you." his lips pressed on to my forehead and he lingered there for a while.

I set my hands on top of his and leaned away from his kiss so I could see his face. "I love you too." A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he enveloped me into a hug. We stayed that way for several minutes just running our hands over the others back, arms, and head, relishing being able to hold each other again. "Hey Arnold?" I mumbled against his neck.

"Hmm?" I could vaguely feel his teeth nibbling my collarbone.

"Let's get out of the rain." he pulled away and grabbed the umbrella from the bench and stood up, offering me a hand and pulling me up as well. As we slowly started walking towards my dorm I leaned close to his ear and whispered, "_By the way. My new bed frame is pure steel._" His eyes widened in surprise and his mouth formed into a wicked grin. Before I could blink Arnold had me thrown over his shoulder as he took off sprinting back to my dorm.

What can I say? I always loved bringing out his inner freak.

* * *

><p><strong>The end? Hahaha. <strong>

**Well, technically this IS the last "chapter". I actually have the epilogue already written, and it should be up within the next day or two!**

**Again, I want to apologize for such a late update. I've been stressing about it! And I'm sorry if the chapter didn't meet anyone's expectations. This story started out as a oneshot and it kind of grew from there. Most of the stuff you read in this story came off the top of my head as I wrote (unlike 'Supernova'. THAT story was 100% planned to a 'T'). So anyway, I did the best I could and I hope you liked it!**

**Before I forget! I've been working on ANOTHER idea for a Hey Arnold story which will hopefully be along soon. So be on the lookout for it!**


	10. Whispers in the dark

**Well here it is everyone, the epilogue! I want to thank you all for taking the time to read and review. I absolutely LOVE doing this and I'm glad other people have enjoyed reading. Your support never ceases to amaze me! Thank you all SO much.**

**As for the status of any future stories; just know you haven't seen the last of me! That's a **_**promise**_**!**

**(Side note): The epilogue will take place in Arnold's POV… I know some people missed him during this story. So here's a little glimpse of his perspective (from a past event that was **_**somewhat**_** recollected by Helga a few times) Muahahaha!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>**Flashback**<strong>_

**Arnold's POV:**

"Okay losers, hold up your mugs and say '_I'm gonna regret this in the morning!'_…" Helga and I both lowered our beer mugs and stared at Louis awkwardly "….and cheese works too." he sheepishly moved the camera away from his face and gave us one of his trademark Cheshire grins.

I let out an amused laugh, but as always Helga could be depended on for her quick wit. "Oh _tee hee_ Louis, you slay me. How about _I_ say: '_shut the hell up and take the picture before I come over there and break your jaw_'?" she snarled, her grip around my waist noticeably tightened.

"Chillax Pataki!" he waved his hand at her dismissively, "Just smile."

I moved my arm that was hanging loosely over her shoulders and held her more tightly, hugging her to my side. I lifted my mug of green beer back up and simultaneously hoped she wouldn't rip my head off for holding on to her without her full consent. If I wasn't focusing on the camera so intently I could have sworn that I saw a faint blush adorning her cheeks. The flash went off once and Helga began complaining that she thinks she had blinked, so we posed for another photo and I held her close again and grinned for the camera. Promptly after the second photo Helga shoved me away from her and straightened her pink polo shirt as if it was disturbed during our contact. I learned not to take too much offence when she reacted that way towards me. It seemed to be the only way she really knew how to communicate, even if she wasn't saying a word. I wasn't about to question why she did things the way she did.

"Don't forget to send those to my email Louis." I walked over towards him to see the pictures on his digital camera. Louis was the guy in charge of the pictures for the frat, for all the events and such that were advertised in the frat pamphlet every year. He was working towards a minor in photography so it worked out perfectly for him to get his practice in.

"Wanna see them Pataki?" Louis offered.

"Uh…yeah right." she muttered, taking off in the other direction of the frat house and picking up one of the flashing '_Kiss me, I'm Irish!_' clip on pins and stuck it to her collar. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to make bad decisions and wreak some havoc on the general public."

We both watched on in amusement as she sashayed through the throngs of people until she was out of sight. "I don't doubt for a second that she's going to make someone's night a little less mundane."

"Maybe we should get a bonfire going. That _always_ livens up the party, right Louis?" I bit my lip to hold back my laughter. Louis glared at me and gave me a playful shove.

"My ass will _never_ look the same after that….. _Incident_!" his hands hovered over his back end. "Skin grafting is not pretty!-"

"And neither are you Lou, so it fits!" Gerald slung his arms around our shoulders and leaned heavily upon us. "What's up _guuuuuys_?" the smell of beer and tequila lingered in the air after he spoke. It was safe to say that Gerald was quite liberally hammered. "I just saw the HOTTEST babe! She was like… _whoa!_ And I was like '_whoa!_'. Totally…. Slammin'."

"Louis, I think it's time to put someone on babysitter duty." I reached up and took the beer bottle from Gerald's hand that was resting on my shoulder, replacing it with the water bottle in Louis'. "Are we gonna rock paper scissors?"

"Nah, I'll do it bud. The night is young, and I've got enough pictures for one evening. The fraternity council tends to frown upon pictures of typically underage people drunk off their asses. They get the PG ones this time." he stuffed his camera back into its protective case before wrapping his arm around Gerald, supporting his weight so I could step away. "I'll hang out upstairs with lush-life here."

"Thanks Louis." I chuckled. "And good night Gerald! Sleep it off man"

His head dipped momentarily before looking at me. He nodded and gave me a thumbs up as Louis began taking him upstairs. He turned when they were halfway up and shouted, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Several hours later during the festivities I found myself down in the basement watching a group of others playing a game of darts. They had offered to let me join in but I declined, opting to nurse my measly second beer of the night. _Someone_ had to stay somewhat sober in this house, right? I watched person after person drunkenly toss their darts and missing horribly. Grandpa bought me a dart board when I was 12 and taught me how to play. I even took that same dart board to college with me. It was one of my favorite pastimes, but I rarely played against anyone else.

Danny appeared at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the railing and motioning for me to come over to him. Like Gerald, he too was intoxicated but to a lesser degree. "Arnold how drunk are you?" he drunkenly narrowed his eyes and began examining me to the best of his abilities.

"I'm not drunk." I paused. "Why?"

"We need a coherent babysitter." he pointed towards the ceiling. "Your girl is plastered."

"Danny!" I growled. "Would you STOP referring to Helga as _my _girl?" The other guys always made it a point to mock me and Helga ever since I warned them to not pursue her romantically. The only reason I ever warned them to steer clear was so that we could all be friends without issues, no romantic blunders to tangle our relationships and make things awkward. Now I have to endure tireless teasing from Danny and Louis. "Where is she?" I muttered.

"Dancing-" he hiccupped loudly. "Stripping… whatever you wanna call it. It was hot, regardless."

"WHAT?" my eyes widened exponentially. "Ugh!" I shoved past him and raced up the stairs to stop Helga from making a complete fool of herself. I finally found her in the middle of the living room with several other people, gyrating her hips in slow, steady circles with her arms raised above her head. True to his word, Helga really had shed her pink polo off at some point leaving herself in a white tank top that didn't leave much to the imagination. Her shirt laid across one of the cushions of the sofa, covered in bright green from the 'Irish beer'. "Ah ha.." I picked the shirt up and flung it on to my shoulder before walking towards Helga. It was hard not to get distracted while she was dancing, she was far too inebriated to notice most of the males in the room ogling her and she moved freely around the room without a care in the world. After a moment of watching her I recollected my thoughts and finally got a hold of her. "_Helga.._" I held on to her shoulders so she would stop spinning around.

"Oh hey Arnoldoooo!" her arms shot up and wrapped around my neck, pulling me into a bone crushing hug. "Lets DANCE!"

"I don't think so." I held even tighter to her so she wouldn't cause any more attention to us than we already have. "I think it's time for you to take a breather. What do you say?"

"Will you be coming?" she gazed at me from under her eyelashes, batting them in quick succession.

I ignored the shooting fluttering feeling in my stomach and nodded. "Of course."

"Woo hoo!" without warning she hopped into the air and forced me to catch her in my arms so I was holding her bridal style. "Giddy up Jeeves!"

"It's nice to know you never lose your sense of humor." I carried her through the party and received numerous looks from the partygoers. I suppose it was a little strange to see a me carrying an uncharacteristically giddy Helga Pataki upstairs while she snuggles into my neck and purrs. I knew I was full on blushing, but I hoped nobody noticed.

I took her into the spare bedroom and set her on the bed, literally having to force her to let go of my neck. "Nice digs." she giggled, falling back against the sheets and kicking her feet in the air.

I've seen Helga get pretty toasted in the past, but for some reason she seemed worse than ever before. "Are you okay?" I blurted out randomly. Her feet stopped kicking and she sat up on the edge of the bed. "You usually don't allow yourself to get so…. Uninhibited."

She gestured for me to come sit next to her, a lazy smile gracing her lips. When I sat down next to her she sat Indian style and faced me. "Truth or dare." her grin widened.

"Are you kidding?" I chuckled, waiting for her to tell me she was just messing around. After a moment I sighed in defeat. "Fine, truth."

"Tell me Arnold… What are you packing downstairs?" she pointed towards my crotch before giggling wildly and rolling around on the bed in hysterics.

My cheeks burned a shade of red I never knew the human body could reach. "On that note, I think it's time for you to drink some water." I shot up off the bed and went across the hall to the bathroom to get a cup of water. When I came back Helga was haphazardly laying across the bed still with the same grin etched on her face. I set the water on the nightstand and moved Helga around until she was laying properly on the bed. I sat down next to her on the side of the bed and offered her the cup, "Drink this. You need to hydrate."

"Arnold, Arnold, Arnold…" she took a long, drawn out gulp from the cup. "Always the Patsy. Did you have _any_ fun tonight?" her eyelids drooped sleepily, leaving her eyes barely open.

"I _did _have fun." I assured her with a smile. "So anyway Helga…. Truth or dare?"

Her playful smirk returned, "Give me your best shot bucko. Truth."

"Why did you drink so much tonight?"

The smirk on her face faltered a little. "I was… _sad_."

"Why?" my brow furrowed.

"I was the only girl here tonight without a date." she hiccupped, blinking her eyelids at different times and somewhat resembling my odd cousin Arnie. "Nobody wants to talk to the _sober_ chick anyway."

"Why didn't you come find me? I would have hung out with you Helga.." I wondered how often she felt lonely at these parties? Girls tend to come to the frat house parties solely to watch their boyfriends and keep them in check, not because they're wanting to have fun. Helga wasn't exactly part of that crowd..

"Is it so much to ask for a nice, _single _boy to make out with?" she stared at the ceiling and giggled to herself, lazily stretching her arms over her head before propping herself up with them behind her head.

Helga was never this open or brazen, ever. She usually kept everything to herself and didn't explain much nor did she ask questions of anyone else. She came to all the frat house events and acted like one of us. Nobody could have figured she would be on the prowl like the guys around here usually are.

"You don't need to be drunk for a boy to want to kiss you." I softly patted her arm. "Anyone who says otherwise is ridiculously wrong."

"You're a baaaaaaaad liar football-" another hiccup, "head." she sat up on her elbows and gave me an unsettling glare in her drunken stupor. "No guys want to make out with a tomboy."

"You'd be surprised." I shifted uncomfortably next to her. "For the record I think you're… um…. _great_." I slapped my forehead at my own deduction. I was saying far too much, even if she was drunk off her butt. _I_ would remember saying all this stuff later on and that was bad enough.

"You're saying you'd make out with me if I put the moves on you when I'm sober?" she yawned and sat up a little more.

"Sure, Helga. Why not?" I chuckled. "Now how about you go to sleep okay? I highly doubt you'll remember any of this in the morning."

"Mmkay." a loud, obnoxious yawn escaped her lips as I helped her under the covers. Her eyes were closed and a happy smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Good night Helga." Before I could get up off the bed she grabbed me by my wrist, eyes still closed. She furrowed her brow and impatiently pointed to her lips. "Oh, excuse me milady." I laughed. Drunken Helga certainly was more blunt in her requests, and a lot more adventurous. Figuring there would be no real harm since she would _never_ remember this, I leaned over her half asleep body I pressed my lips to hers for a quick, innocent good night peck. Her hand quickly shot up and held my mouth to hers, pressing her lips more firmly. My eyes shot open in shock, and I found myself frozen in her grasp. I could feel her grinning against my lips… she pretended to be half asleep on purpose. That little-

"-MMMMF!" I grunted against her mouth when I felt her bottom lip tugging on my top lip and opening my mouth to get better access. My mind was racing and my heart was fluttering. I've been confused for far too long about the infuriating blonde who was now currently nibbling on my stagnant lips, and this incident would without a doubt only add to my confusion. My eyes slowly began fluttering closed to their own accord, my hand reaching up to cup the side of her face. I let myself get lost in the kiss for well over a minute before I finally realized what exactly I was doing. I was taking advantage of the situation, and I was being no better than the frat guys. "I can't do this. I'm sorry Helga.." I slowly got up off the bed. "You won't remember this in the morning, and if I _do_ kiss you again someday I want you to be able to _remember_ it later on. I'm so sorry…ugh…"

"So… _You_ won't forget?" she shyly bit on her now swollen bottom lip. Her eyes were still barely open and she looked like a mess.

"Of course not."

"Would you ever kiss me again when I'm sober?" her voice sounded so meek, shy…. And so unlike herself.

"You never know..." I leaned over and hesitantly kissed her cheek. "Sleep well, Helga." without another word she flopped back on to the pillows and buried herself underneath the covers. I quietly exited the room and leaned against the door with a heavy sigh. I just kissed _Helga_… well, technically she had kissed _me_ and I didn't stop her. But the point was I eventually kissed her back. The implications that could possibly arise from this were potentially dangerous for our social circle. My crush on Helga back in high school had somewhat faded over the years and I was finally learning to see her as just a friend. But now?… Now things were different for me. The moment her lips touched mine it ignited a spark I had tried extinguishing years ago. And what was I supposed to do in the morning when Helga wakes up and forgets everything?

"Hey man!" Louis came walking down the hall. "Heard you had Pataki duty. She finally asleep?"

"Uh huh.." I was praying I didn't look too flustered.

"I forgot to write down your email earlier so I could mail you the picture of you and Helga. While I was waiting for Gerald to pass out I had time to upload the photos. Want me to send you them now?" he pulled out his phone so he could input it in the address bar. A few moments later my phone dinged with the new email. Plain and clear on my screen was the photo of me and Helga from earlier on in the night. Both of us were smiling and clinging to each other while holding up our mugs of green beer.

"Thanks Louis." I smiled.

I guess even if Helga never remembered tonight, I would always have the memory… that for one moment in time…. I got to see a glimpse of the person she's usually too afraid to show otherwise.

The girl I fell for once before.

* * *

><p><strong>THE ENNNNNND!<strong>

**Fun fact: This is the SECOND epilogue written for this story. The first one I told you guys I had written already left me feeling…. Unhappy, to say the least. THAT one went into the **_**future**_** from Helga's POV. It was basically a campy, cheesy, stupid ending. I wanted more substance, or food for thought if you will. I wanted people to see things slightly from Arnold's POV (aaaaaaaand give you a little super secret Arnold/Helga moment!) But most importantly I wanted you to see the full circle with that St. Patrick's Day photo. Helga felt connected with it for reasons beyond her understanding, and Arnold kept it as a memory of that night. I hope you weren't disappointed that I changed the ending!**

**(this ending also takes place before the first chapter ever happened, in case anyone was wondering)**

**On another note,**

**I drew a "cover page" of sorts for this story, and it was colored by the awesomely talented BrokenRose24! Check it out if you want! (I'm not an artist by any means! So no laughing! Haha)**

"**Behind The Mask" cover art (minus the spaces, obviously) **

http: / fav. me / d4t6wwk


	11. BIG NEWS! Sequel announcement!

**BIG BIG BIIIIIIIIIG NEWS EVERYONE!**

**This story will be getting a sequel! It was brought to my attention VIA comments (well over 25), and the "save the jungle movie" Facebook group (FIFTY **_**freakin**_** people!) were dying to see a sequel to this ditty. At first I abhorred the idea of a sequel, thinking it would be one big pain in my ass. BUUUUUUT I do realize there is much to grow upon from my previous storyline. (and who **_**doesn't**_** want to see Arnold and Helga as a couple? Haha)**

**So….. It's official kiddies! A SEQUEL IS COMING!**

**As of right now I HAVE decided on a title; **

"**Head-on collision"**

**And yes, EVERYONE will be returning for the sequel! (It's surprising you all liked Danny, Louis, and Jason!) OC's usually aren't crowd pleasers. Lol. But they will all be back!**

**As for the status of my other story; "Odyssey"… it's…. on permanent hiatus for now. It got strangely negative reactions, so sadly it's been put on the backburner. **

**But back on a positive note, I've been working on the sequel for several days now thanks to all the ideas and suggestions given to me by the facebook group! I'm hoping it'll be along VERY soon!**

**Be on the lookout! **

**And thank you all for being amazing! ;) **


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